Christmas

I know that it is post Christmas now, but too bad. You get Christmas today, because I'm already starting to miss it. It seems like the last few years there has been something missing with Christmas. I think mostly it's just that I'm oldish and so time flies faster, and life is different than it was, different responsibilities. But every year, I feel like I'm trying to find some way to engage with Christmas somehow and it always eludes me. Maybe it is just that I don't get to wake up in the morning and lay on the couch looking at the lights creating kaleidoscope stained glass pictures on the ceiling on Christmas morning, or maybe because I don't have the same family relationship as I once did. Or groups of people to go and carol with, or deliver Christmas packages to. I don't know. I haven't been alone this Christmas, not in the sense of being the only person in the room, and I actually did have a delightful Christmas. It just seems that there is something I'm trying to capture each year and missing out on. (I'm probably spending too much time trying to figure it out instead of just enjoying it!)

Anyway, I did have fun making goodies with my nieces and nephews, listening to Christmas music (missed out on some of the Christmas movies, but that's okay), picking presents, and such. I loved the lights, and the weather was nice enough to give us some snow for Christmas, which was thoughtful of it. Somehow snow at wintertime is always connected with a cold that makes you feel alive, at least in my mind.

I think what I really want is to have Christmas be about Christ. This shouldn't be as hard as it has been for me, and though I try, it has proven tricksy. So, even though Christmas is over, I'm thinking about next year, and how I can do things to try to remedy the situation. No concrete plans yet, but it is a great excuse to keep Christmas alive. Looks like the annual viewing of A Christmas Carol paid off--if all goes well, I will have the spirit of Christmas with me all year.

Little Things

I feel like this has been a doozy of a week, one of those weeks that has maybe got some of us thinking that the whole Mayan-Calendar-End-of-the-World thing isn't sounding as bad an option as it might. Sometimes the world just seems like such a bad, messed up place. But, this week, I had a chance to travel, and travel is always interesting because you are interacting with a bunch of new and different people and somehow, that changes things up a bit. Anyway, I just have been thinking this week of all the little things that I saw in conjunction with my traveling that made such a big impression, and in some cases, a big difference for me.

I always feel a bit like a country bumpkin when I travel, and much as I wish I could pull of sophisticated world traveler, it isn't in my repertoire yet. But every time I had a question, or needed help, people responded. And they responded in a way that said, "It's okay to not know that. You aren't weird or anything. I have questions like that all the time." A way that said, you are fine. That means a lot--we all need that reassurance sometimes. So the waitress who helped me figure out how to separate the bill, or the gal at the car rental place who found a way to connect, or the people I met with who helped me feel welcome, instead of intimidated all really made a daunting experience doable, and doable with enjoyment.

I also saw a lot of people doing little things around me. There was the TSA officer who, instead of criticizing a passenger for not having everything ready apologized for making him go through the whole routine. ID--not current, do you have current?--Oh, can you take it out of the plastic cover?--Sorry, I know it's a pain but it's the policy, good luck with everything. She didn't have to do that. A lot of people would have been impatient. And the thing is, I was a bit impatient with this guy, not knowing what was going on or anything, but as I listened, and saw her attitude, it changed my attitude. Clearly, there had been some kind of problem, and he had had to scramble to get it resolved, and at the end of the exchange, I just felt like I had been made better.

Or the guy who had to call his neighbor while shuttling from the car rental area to the airport. His neighbor's sheep had gotten through to his property, and his kids were trying to round them up. He didn't scream or yell. He didn't even raise his voice or sound stern. He just said, "I wanted you to know, and I know you are probably in the middle of something, and my kids are working on it. But I knew you'd want to know, and just when you get a chance. You know how sheep are!" And the neighbor heard they had a hunting permit and invited them to hunt on his land if they'd like. And at the end of the exchange, the guy's wife said (of the neighbor), "He's such a great guy." Again, I felt like my life had been made better for that one, brief experience. I know it was probably rude of me to listen, and if they are reading this, well, I know I should apologize, but mostly I want to say thank you. Thank you for just being good, because it's who you are. It was encouraging to know that there are a lot of good, decent, kind people out there, and that you don't have to look far to find them. So thank you for that.

And there were loads of other little things. People going beyond what their job required, or what society expects of them, and being good, and decent, and kind. Little tiny things, that maybe no one will notice. No one ever got recognition in the paper for being cheerful while doing their job. But I think it is these little things, more than the big things like fund raising concerts and Facebook donations, that give me hope. Because these little things show who people really are, day in and day out, not just when tragedy strikes, and knowing that there are those kind of people out there is what gives us hope to get through the tragedies.

So here's to all the little things that ordinary people do every day. That is what will change the world.

Life with a three-year old

I think I've mentioned before that I am currently in limbo (let it be noted that I am against limbo). Well, this has put me in residence with a very charming three-year old, and while there are four other charming kids in residence, they all go to school and so aren't home for most of the day and tend to not rely on me quite as much. So, to the other kids: I love you too, and I hope you forgive me for focusing on the little kid.

My day, as many of yours, includes breakfast at some point. Unlike yours, hopefully, my breakfast is almost always hijacked by Mr. 3. This kid is a masterful mooch, and his skill  has been improving of late. It started when he was one, and he's been honing ever since, to the point that he doesn't even do subtle anymore. One day, I turned and six inches from my face was a gaping three-year old mouth, just waiting for me to insert a spoonful of cereal. Hilariously adorable, and how do you say no to that? The real gem was when I was eating Lucky Charms, a particular favorite of his. After about two bites, he had commandeered the spoon and was graciously sharing my breakfast with me, generally when there weren't as many marshmallows in the mix. He's so thoughtful. 

My little buddy is also very big on helping me get ready for the day. On occasion, he has even chosen my outfits (with a little bit of carefully wielded influence). He gets my watch and my ring for me, and is always eager to help me with my belt (not sure why). He knows my get ready routine as well as I do. 

This kid loves stories, and he'll take them in any form. I know he knows how to count, but if you tell him, "Just one story" his mathematical skills are going to become non-existent and ten stories later (generally repeated readings of a few stories) you might finally convince him to do something else, provided you have a cool enough distraction. But he also likes to be told stories, and I have made up more stories on the spot than I can count over the last few months (some of which might actually have potential for written stories. Maybe). My favorite part is, when I finish telling him a made up story he says to me, "Will you read it again?"  

It amazes me how fast he is growing. More and more he wants to do things by himself. He can button his pajama shirt, and pour the cereal (this is a new in for mooching), he's figuring out the mouse on my laptop (this is dangerous), and a host of other things. Everyday, it's something new. Try asking him if he's a big boy, though, and this is the answer you'll get. "No, I'm just a little boy." "When will you be a big boy?" "Um, two o'clock, I think." He will then analyze your watch, watching the second hand go around, and declare it two o'clock at some point.

I don't know about other three-year olds, but this one is a phenomenal hugger. Something about his size is just perfect for hugging. I told him yesterday that hugging was his super power, and he went around the rest of the day giving everyone giant hugs. We call him Superhugger, and I tell you, it is a real super power. Flying and X-ray vision and all that may be great, but I don't know if they can compete with hugging. That is a power that can change the world.

So, there you have it. Life with a three-year old. Personally, I think everyone should have one. It would definitely make the world a better place.

Things we learn from Doctor Who

Very important takeaways from Doctor Who:

1. Fangs make everything scarier.
2. Don't be obese (or you will be an excellent target for the Slitheen).
3. Do well in school (and avoid the beast below).
4. Don't live in England, because that is where the aliens always hit first.
5. Don't trust old people.
6. Don't stalk people. It's not nice and it never turns out well.
7. ALWAYS put pants on before going to investigate mysterious whooshing noises in your backyard.
8. Don't put the Doctor in a trap. Bad idea.
9. Beware of cracks in walls.
10. Never insult a fake vampire's mother. Unless of course you have something sturdier than a broom at hand to duel with.
11. If you have to die, you might as well do it looking like a Peruvian folk band.
12. Kids drawing with deep creepy voices is a bad sign.
13. Don't let strangers who are way too serious come in and take over your nice, harmless little obsession group, especially if they want you to hunt down the Doctor. Seriously. If people want you to hunt the Doctor, get away from them.
14. Be flexible. Very very flexible. Because it's never going to go according to plan.
15. Seriously, you should listen to the Doctor.
16. There's always a way out.
17. Everyone wants to get their grubby little hand-like appendages on planet earth.
18. Why not go for a swim while reading?
19. When you see something unusual, you really might want to have a Plan, and maybe a few backup plans, before you rush in and start messing around with it.
20. Bow ties are cool.
21. Stop talking to me when I'm cross.
22. If you recognize a British actor and don't know where you've seen them, just assume it was in a Doctor Who episode.
23. Whimsy is a beautiful thing.

A bit hairy...

A couple of nights ago, my niece came into my room while I was rating movies on Netflix. You wouldn't think that would be so entertaining, but it was quite hilarious. Netflix would present me with a movie and ask me to rate it.* After I rated it, it would ask, "How often do you watch ___________________ movies?" Now, I don't know how on earth they developed their descriptions, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't through controlled vocabularies. Which means, good luck finding anything by searching for the genre type, unless you too think of My Big Fat Greek Wedding as a movie about food. Or Willie Wonka's Chocolate Factory (the original one) as a movie about a tortured genius (the new one, I can see it. But the old one? Come on). Anyway, my very favorite description was of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End.  I know, we were all a bit confused about this movie, but Netflix has cleared it all up for us. This is a Cool Moustache movie. (It all makes sense now, doesn't it?)

Now, I don't know how often you have wanted to watch a cool moustache movie, and just haven't been able to think of one. I mean, it's a niche. And, believe it or not, searching for Cool Moustache Movies in Netflix doesn't bring up very good results (documentary on JFK--who does not have a moustache, documentary on global warming, some cartoon with no moustaches in sight, and a bunch of other very non-promising results. Netflix really needs to improve their search capabilities). So, to make life easier, I am compiling a list for your convenience. Here goes.

1. Mr. Stache. This is the epitome of a Cool Moustache movie, the definitive cool moustache movie, the movie by which all other cool moustache movies will be measured.
2. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. Apparently, because Netflix said so.
3. Napoleon Dynamite. Despite Netflix's estimation of this as a movie about dysfunctional families. (There is so much more dysfuncionality in this movie than just the family).
4. Hercules Poirot. This is no surprise. Have you ever read a Hercules Poirot mystery? Without fail, his moustaches are mocked. (Yes. Plural).
5. The Lorax. Nope, this is not a movie about trees. It's about the stache.
6. Ratatouille. Evil chef.
7. Magnum PI. Okay, I know it's a TV show, but the 80's really did produce some fantastic moustaches. And Tom Selleck really did rock the stache.
8. Secondhand Lions. A nice, subtle but cool stache.
9. Gone with the Wind. Haven't seen it, but don't you just think "moustache" when you think of Clark Gable in that movie?
10. M*A*S*H. Hunnicutt has a pretty fantastic one at the end of the series.
11. Anything with Adolf Hitler. Villain, yes. But the moustache is undeniably notable. The episode Let's Kill Hitler, from Doctor Who Season 6 springs to mind.
12. Hook. How could I have forgotten this one? Hook has a tremendous moustache.
13. The Princess Bride. Inigo! I almost forgot his moustache. And Westley sports a nice one as the Dread Pirate Roberts.
14. Diagnosis Murder. Dick Van Dyke is totally rocking the stache in this TV series.
15. Night at the Museum. Teddy is sporting a nice one (Bully) and I'm sure there are some others.
16. Phineas and Ferb. I know, kids cartoon, but Major Monogram is practically all moustache.
17. Star Wars. Lando Calrissian. And there are probably some very intriguing staches on the ET's.
18. Mulan. Mu Shu sports the American's idea of a classic Chinese moustache.
19. Anything Charlie Chaplin. I mean, isn't his moustache the first thing you envision when you hear his name?
20. Batman Begins. Ducard does have a unique moustache, that Liam Neeson sports rather well.

So, there is a starter list. And, if you are interested in more fun moustacheness, you should try googling moustaches in movies. It is quite entertaining.

*I have to mention here that I hate rating systems. Netflix gives you 5 stars. One means you hated it, 2 you didn't like it, 3 you liked it, 4 you really liked it and 5 you loved it. No halfsies or quarter points. No, "It was okay." No, "meh." How is anyone supposed to give quality feedback with those options? Seriously. 

Wait, what language are we speaking?

We have been hosting a delegation of archivists from China at work lately, and today, I was part of a presentation we did for them. Now, I don't speak Chinese. I did my undergraduate in Spanish (and it's debatable how fluent I am). And as I was preparing my portion of the presentation, I automatically started translating it into Spanish, as if somehow that would help in communicating with our Chinese delegates. Consciously, I was completely aware of the fact that Spanish is not Chinese. But I still kept trying to translate to Spanish.

This is not the first time I have had this happen. And I'm not the only one who does this. My co-worker, who was also part of the presentation, mentioned having that experience, and I have other friends who have had the same experience. And it isn't just Spanish. One friend spoke Russian. I just think it is so fascinating that my brain says, "Ah! We're not speaking English! Great, then we are speaking the other language I know. Okay, switch gears, speak the other language." I'm sure that there has been research done on it and there are fascinating studies one could read, but I just love observing it in life. And fortunately, I didn't try to give my presentation in Spanish. I think that might have really confused the interpreter.

The power of persuasion

On Monday this week, my nephew developed an ear infection. Well, I'd been holding him when he fell asleep, and then I couldn't get him to let go of me after he fell asleep, so I laid with him on my bed, and somehow managed to slither out from under him and pry his gripping arm from my neck. Then, when he woke up, his ear hurt so much he just wanted to be held, so I spent about 2 hours holding him.

I considered washing my sheets, but figured that having held him and otherwise shared his airspace, that would be a bit pointless. If I was going to get sick, it wouldn't be from the small patch of germy sheet he created.

And inevitably, I did get sick. (I say inevitable, which I hope doesn't imply that one always gets sick after being around a sick person. I worked with 40 kindergartners for two and half years, and was rarely sick and have spent lots of time with sick kids without becoming sick). Sore throat, painful ears. Achy body. Plus side: milkshake for dinner, because I couldn't swallow anything else comfortably. Down side far outweighed the plus side. In case you wondered.

Finally, I went to a doctor, because I was afraid it was strep. The doctor came in, asked about the symptoms, if there was any sinus trouble ("no, not really, just a tiny bit today, but nothing noticeable, in comparison to the ear and throat pain"), coughing, have I been around anyone sick, and proceeded to declare his suspicion that I had a sinus infection. This was Friday night.

Up until then, sinuses hadn't really been on my radar. Like I said, I was worried it was strep. But I left the doctor's office, and it was like my body said, "Sinus infection? That's what we're supposed to be doing here? Okay, body, shift gears. Sinus infection mode!" Fortunately, nothing really with the stuffy nose, but the coughing on Saturday (which started when I went to bed on Friday night. Seriously. It was like a one hour turnaround) was so bad, my voice gave out most of the day. All that darn postnasal drip (which is a phrase that just doesn't seem right in a blog), and all that coughing gave me a killer headache. Sore throat? Gone. Ears? Fine.

All of which leaves me wondering, why is it that my body will respond to what some random doctor says in a matter of hours, but it NEVER listens to me? Honestly.

I wonder what would have happened if the doctor had said, "You are perfectly healthy, and next week you are going to run a marathon."

Wonderful World

I've been raving about the fall foliage, and meaning to get pictures of it. Unfortunately, I think I waited a week too long (okay, wait isn't necessarily the most accurate description, but it did get delayed). Today, I finally did it. It was a little tricky, because it was cloudy and because I was driving on back roads, so there really wasn't anywhere to park and snap. But, I tried. I had mixed results, but I tried, and it is one of my goals to improve my photos, so all in all, I feel like it was a success. Here are some of the ones I really like:

I really want to get them printed, because one thing I have learned: printed copies really tell you how good a picture is. The screen just doesn't do them justice, which is odd, because they are digital pictures. Anyway, I think the flower one is my favorite, but I also liked the reflections in the water pictures. And I definitely like the stump. (That one was fun--I got to climb on a bunch of tree stumps, gigantic tree stumps, and it was super). I do wish I'd managed to get out a week sooner. This week proved windy and wet, so it didn't do much for keeping the colorful leaves on the trees. But, better than nothing. Hope you enjoy the pictures.

To Do

I was laying in bed the other night, thinking of things I want to do in my life. Now, I feel I should mention here that there are two categories that my goals fall into. There is the experience category, or things I want to try. And there is the accomplishment category, things I want to do. I actually have a list of things I want to accomplish, and I must say it was very exciting when I got to cross off "Earn a Master's Degree" in April. Seriously, it felt good. But, I digress.

The Do category is a lot more important to me than the experience category, because the Do list is more character shaping. The experience list is a lot more flexible and a lot less critical. It is also a lot more spontaneous and whimsical (keeps it fun). But there are some constants on there (constant mostly because I actually remember them, rather than constant because they haven't been scratched off). By no means comprehensive or final, here are a few:

1. I want to learn to swim.
I can swim. Ish. Let's just say, if you're drowning, I hope that I'm not the only person that knows it, because while I could possible save my life, I wouldn't be able to save yours. Sorry. It's not personal. My biggest worry here is that I won't be able to master the coordination necessary to pull this off, coordination not being one of my natural talents, but I am going to try. Because I love the water, and I want to be able to swim, and not just in an ish sort of way.

2. I want to go snowshoeing.
Due to that whole coordination problem, skiing has never seemed like a great idea to me. But snowshoeing--that is something I could probably manage. I really want to try it.

3. I want to go ice skating.
I don't recall ever having done this, and I want to do it just once. And you should all hope you are so lucky to be witness to the comedy that will ensue when I do try it because, yeah, no coordination. (This also means that I will have to have the right person(s) to try this with. I'm particular about who is invited to share my experiences. Call me a snob).

4. I want to publish a book.
Okay, this is on the accomplishment list, but it is also an experience. I want to have the experience of seeing my nieces and nephews open a book that I wrote. The problem is that I can't illustrate, and I write picture book stories, so this is a work in progress. And, I should note, I want to be publisher published. Not that I have anything against Amazon publishing. But I want the best. (Yep. Snob).

5. I want to own a leather jacket.
I have no idea why. I just want one. A kind of fitted one, that is a little bit rebel. I am going to rock that jacket when I get it.

6. I want to see Niagara Falls.
I am actually kind of chafing because I'm fairly close to Niagara Falls at present, but I can't go see it. Which, it's kind of the off season at present, so I guess I'll have to live with it for now.

7. I want to travel.
I don't really have any particular place I want to travel (well, okay, Niagara Falls). I just want to have more whimsical, unforeseen travel opportunities. I've gotten to China, Vanuatu, Puerto Rico, the Dominican Republic, Washington DC, Madison, WI, and lots of other places that way. And another advantage of the random travel chance: you can't feel let down if a place doesn't live up to all you hoped it would be.

8. I want to be a better photographer.
This one, I am working on. I guess it's an accomplishment goal, too, sort of. Anyway, so far I've learned that I need a lot of pictures to get a few good ones, there is a time and a place for being persnickety about photos (sometimes, you are just trying to capture a moment). And, I need another camera.

9. I know this one...what was it?! Oh, yeah! I want to own another stick shift.
My first car was a stick shift. I loved driving that thing. Admittedly, it was old, and the heating/AC wasn't great, and there was no radio. But I loved driving a stick. And someday, I want to own another one.

I feel like 9 is a good number to stop at. (Thank goodness, because I can't think of anymore at present). I don't want to bore you. But, you know what they say about goals. You have to write them down, and you have to be accountable. So, two birds, one stone. Man, I am amazing!

How does that sound?

I have a friend in Bangladesh, and she was taking a little jaunt up to Khatmandu. I know next to nothing about Khatmandu (next to nothing being I know that it is a place and it is called Khatmandu. Nothing would be minus that information), but it has a nice ring to it.

While the sound of a place isn't the only way I decide where I'm going to travel (okay, I don't really have a defined set of criteria, but this probably wouldn't make the list. It would be one of those added bonus things), there are some places I would love to say I'd been to just because it is so fun to say. For example, Cheboygan. It just rolls off the tongue. Schenactady? Fun to say (and I have a friend who grew up there, so that counts for something). Cochabomba. Quetzaltenango, Guayaquil. Toowoomba--I totally want to say I've been to Toowoomba. There are a lot of fun country names too. Azerbaijan. Burundi. Liechtenstein (fun--and the capital is fun to say too. Vaduz). And all the former USSR republics? I have no idea how to even pronounce them, but they always make me wish I did.

Finding cool places is the strongest argument for the continuation of printed maps. Trying to find cool place names in Google maps just isn't the same experience at all. Maybe it's the archivist in me talking, that part of me that will never become paperless, but I think it is true all the same. I will probably never travel to most places in the world, but it's fun to dream. And to say all those cool place names!

Just a little thing

Today, as I was driving home, I couldn't help noticing how beautiful fall is. I don't think I have the most artistic eye in the world, but I do love watching the changes of the seasons, and seeing how beautiful each one is. Today's drive was just gorgeous, and I took a back road just to change up the scenery. It was a brilliant decision. I love the colors of fall.

Mostly I was glad that I could appreciate this small thing. I was also glad that I noticed. Things have been so hard lately, it cheers me up to realize that I can still appreciate good things. I don't know if I'm doing anything right, and I feel like I'm not doing much worth remembering at present, but I hope I have this memory for a long time. Because it really was beautiful.

Waiting

If I had to describe myself, patient is not one of the adjectives that would make the top ten. Not that I'm super impatient. I figure I'm pretty average on the patience scale. Some days are better than others, and some situations are easier to be patient with than others. Spur of the moment I'd say it's a lot easier for me to be patient with things that aren't life-critical and short term frustrations. Currently, my tolerance levels have been pushed to the limit, though.

It seems like every aspect of life is on hold. I wait for job openings to come up, then I wait for weeks/months for hiring committees to decide who they want to interview (generally not me, which is just how things roll in a tight economy, so I don't take it personally), then wait to hear back. I'm waiting to know where I will live, waiting to be able to be living on my own again, waiting to get started on the next stage of life. I suppose technically, this is a stage of life, but I'm ready to move on. This whole limbo thing is just boring, old, and tiresome.

Not that I don't try to make the most of it, but I have limited resources at present. I do what I can, though, and I'm sure that I'm growing a lot. That always seems to happen during the most frustrating moments of life. Anyway, I would love to think that I'm going to come out of this and be an absolutely patient person, and the whole patience thing will be over. But life's just not like that.

I've probably passed patience 101, and maybe now I'm enrolled in Patience 415. But, it takes time to master a skill and at some point, I imagine I will end up enrolled in Patience 790 (eesh, right now I really hope not!). But, 790 will be a lot easier because of 415 and 101. What I'm saying is, patience (and many other virtues) is a life long pursuit and I'll probably never be completely perfectly patient. But, if I can just be a bit better after all this at things like faith, endurance, patience, trust--well, then I guess that will be enough.

Remembering

The other day, for some reason, I was reminded of something from my childhood. After school, we'd play with friends or go outside, or just hide out in our rooms. Anyway, because there were a few of us to round up for dinner, at some point, my parents invested in a cowbell, which became the new system for announcing dinner. Someone would take the bell and ring it through the house, in the backyard, and on the porch, and we would hear it and come running for dinner (well, probably not always running). We (at least I) loved to be the one to ring the dinner bell. I honestly don't know why, because it wasn't the melodious sound, but then again, it was noisy, and we were kids, so that pretty much explains it. The bell sat on the back of the stove, and it wasn't uncommon for it to get knocked off as one passed by, or when the oven door was slammed shut (don't ask me why that might happen), and it would clang into the cast iron skillet that always sat on the stove.

I haven't thought about that bell in ages, and had kind of forgotten it. I don't even know when it faded from usage, but it was such a part of day to day life growing up that it seems a shame that it be forgotten. As an archivist (I can claim that title, even though I'm not employed yet, right?) I look at a lot of important records, but it seems to me that sometimes the most valuable records are the ones that remind us about everyday life for everyday people. Because a cowbell is totally normal, right?

The Adventures of Aunt Elise

I am currently staying with my sister, who has 5 kids. A lot of people gasp at that, which is odd to me, because I am the third of 8, and so 5 is nothing. Anyway, I will say that they do keep life entertaining.

One of the great pleasures is getting to play librarian for them. One of my roles as Aunt is recommending books. I love it when I strike gold. Mostly, my services are for the 2 oldest, but I had a chance to recommend something for the oldest boy, who just turned 8. It was a special reward to find something for him.

Another of my favorite things to do is listen to the 3 year old play. Kids in general are pretty entertaining to listen to when they don't know you are listening. One night, he had the Mr. Potato Head Darth Vader mask and was humming Star Wars music and doing the Vader breathing.

Three is a very interesting age. They are curious and smart as a whip. My nephew has long since figured out that I tend to have food stashed in various places. (I drive a lot, so I always keep snacks in my car). He learned to unlock my car, which means I have to keep a close eye on my keys. Otherwise, he is liable to break in my car, gorge himself, and one of these days he might figure out the ignition.

He also found my chocolate stash. I kept moving it, but he kept finding it. One day, I pulled out a few pieces, and his sister and I hid them for him to find. Ever since, he asks me once every day or two if I have chocolate. I say no, and he mentions the "chocolate game." It was clearly a hit with him, but I don't think his mom would approve of frequent playing of the game.

For some reason, he really loves my car. Last weekend, we moved his car seat to my car for a few days, and every time I mentioned going somewhere and that he could ride with me, he wanted to leave right then. He has been asking me every day since then if we can go to the store, which is one of the places I took them. Having a three year old for your buddy is a pretty good way to go. He is a master hugger. I do have to be careful about leaving technology laying around. (He has taken to turning on my laptop, and one day it had to reinstall some things in order to start. Love the system restore. I now put my laptop out of reach before I leave the house).

I also became a star by giving the 8-year old a Nerf gun. I suppose being a bit childish helps when it comes to shopping for kids. I hope that is a skill I can always put on my life resume.

Anyway, being an aunt is a fun adventure. Always something to entertain.

Why I shouldn't be president

It occurs to me that in a few short years,  I will meet all the requirements to become president of the United States of America, based on Article II Section 1 of the US Constitution. I decided that I'd just let you all know right now that I will not be accepting any nominations. I know, I know, this is a huge disappointment for many of you, but let me just tell you all the reasons why I shouldn't be president:

1. As much as I love public speaking, I really don't feel any compulsion to be the center of attention.
2. When I am the center of attention, I sometimes have a tendency to attempt to entertain, and I feel certain that a stand-up comedy speech at the State of the Union may not go down so well.
3. My platform would be common sense, baked goods, and naps. I'm sure it's not in the best interests of the nation.
4. My desire for common sense and goodness might create a conflict.
5. I like sleeping.
6. I don't feel any need to age rapidly. Besides half the time I feel like I'm twelve. I find ambushing people with flying screaming monkeys a great stress reliever. This may not go down so well in the Oval Office. (Or it could really improve the place. Who knows?)
7. I would disappoint a lot of people who like to do studies. I have a hard time spending money on studies like this or this. I mean, not that it isn't fascinating, but really? Was anyone wondering about whether Mondays are really worse or not? And have we all been dreaming of going head on with our pet goldfish in video games?
8. I hear that presidents have a chef. This would be highly damaging to my career as a cake fairy.
9. I really hate overtime. Really.
10.  I'm a decent human and it would ruin me. No one wants that. Especially me. I enjoy the sanity that I possess.

So, there you have it. Ten excellent reasons why you should not elect me president. God bless the USA.

Nutrition Guide...ish

I made the mistake of having Oreos for breakfast this morning. I should point out that this isn't really as rare as it should be for me. Not that I eat dessert for breakfast everyday, but I do have a theory about this. It's part of my own very non-nutritional based guide to nutrition. See, I have a theory that if you eat dessert for breakfast, then you have all day to burn off the calories from dessert. Also, how can you go wrong starting the day with a little bit of chocolate (not necessarily Oreos, but still, a little bit of chocolate? Can't hurt).

There is actually a bit of logic behind this particular rule of mine. I mean, think about it. Eat dessert at 7:00 at night, and what do you do next? Sit around doing nothing, go to bed, and all those calories go unused. So, yeah? Why not eat it for breakfast, then go charging through the day burning up all those calories? And if that isn't enough logic, I've been reading on sleep hygiene, and some specialists recommend that sugar be avoided 4-6 hours before bedtime.

I have some other guidelines, too. I apologize in advance to all the actual nutritionists out there, because you will all cringe.

• If the ingredients are good for you, the end product is good for you. For example: Ice cream has milk (well, kind of) in it, therefore it is healthy. This is the Bill Cosby approach to nutrition, tried and true. 
• If there is no nutrition information, then none of the bad stuff counts. This means that homemade food is by default healthy for you.
• Breakfast, being the most important meal of the day, can be eaten as many times during a day as one wants, guilt-free.

I'm sure there are other guidelines, but for now, these are the ones springing to my mind. Clearly, I am not and should never be a nutritionist, and I don't recommend that anyone follow my guidelines, because I doubt they will lead to good health. I highly recommend that you eat fruits and vegetables, a balanced diet, include exercise, and live long and prosper. 

Things that make me laugh

My nieces and nephews
Making other people laugh
The funny things people say that aren't even written in a script
Dr. Who
Whimsy
Wait, Wait...Don't Tell Me
Clever, witty banter wherever it is found (clever and witty being the key. Crass does not count.)
Making fun of ridiculous things on TV that just beckon to be mocked
Comic Strips
Some news headlines (you come across some very odd ones)
Kids in general are pretty entertaining
The earlier seasons of Psych (an excellent example of witty banter)
Tacky the Penguin


 

Reality

I just gotta say that our modern take on fairy tales has really filled us with some false beliefs. For example, birds? Not the nice friendly creatures we have been led to believe. Proof: I have been dive bombed by birds while running. This is not the action of a friendly, peace-loving species. I have never had a bird come in and sew a dress for me. Cinderella? Lies.

Another problem with Cinderella: Do you really think that someone is going to spend a whole night dancing with a person, and then not be able to recognize her face because she's wearing a different outfit? If that is the case, that guy was not really all that into her. Just sayin'. And the odds that a shoe will fit one foot and only one foot? Absurd. I feel like someone ought to give the Prince to tell his side of the story.

So, a few weeks ago, somewhat inspired by the absurd Olympic interviews I suppose, my niece and I were having hypothetical interviews with characters from books, movies, history, etc. And we envisioned how an interview with Cinderella would go:

Reporter: So, what did you think when you saw your fairy godmother?
Cinderella: Well, my first thought was I was hallucinating. I mean, who's ever heard of a fairy godmother? And I had served mushrooms for dinner, and you know how mushrooms can be...but then I figured, "Hey, even if it is a hallucination, this is a good thing. I'm going to go with it."

Reporter: You walk into the ball. You, Cinderella. You never dreamed of being in the palace, never thought this would actually be happening to you. What is going through your head at this moment?
Cinderella: Well, I walk in to the ballroom, and I'm looking around, and everything looks just amazing. And then I really start looking, and I start noticing spots on the railings, spills on the floor, handprints on tables... I did NOT envy the poor cleaning staff, let me tell you. To have to clean up after all those messy guests? What a nightmare! I was so relieved that I had to be out by midnight. Otherwise, I would have ended up helping them out. Poor souls."

Now, maybe you are rolling your eyes saying, yeah, that's not what Cinderella is going to be thinking about. But, when you have done something all day every day for a long time, you tend to notice that in other settings. Also, when you are in a strange place, you are going to look for something familiar. My prediction: Cinderella would be lint picking and trying to get rid of wrinkles in the Prince's suit. Which, of course, doesn't mean she couldn't have a fantastic conversation. But, my scenario isn't farfetched, either.

So, yeah. Fairy tales. Not exactly reality. But I suppose that's good, because reality is realistic enough for anyone. A break from it is nice every now and then.

Peaches

One of the things that I miss about this time of year is fruit. It was about this time of year that my mom would begin her canning. This meant that we had boxes and boxes of peaches and pears sitting in the basement and we had fresh fruit every day. Peaches and cream after dinner, peaches for snacks, and the smell of drying fruit wasn't a bad thing, either. We'd help mom with canning and the best part was blanching the peaches. My mom would pull them from the boiling water and drop them in a sink of cold water, and we'd take the peels off. The outside of the peach would be warm, the inside cold, and I loved to snitch them.

Somehow, I've never been able to pick out peaches from the grocery store and get the whole ripening-eating timing down. Even when I get lucky, the experience isn't the same as having boxes of fruit filling your basement. I do get excited when it is peach season, but I miss the good old days. Maybe someday, when life is more settled, I'll be able to relive the experience but until then, I'll just eat a peach now and then and enjoy the memories.

Being myself

I was having a conversation with a friend, who mentioned that she sometimes goes to church and feels like she can't be herself like she can at home. Which got me thinking. When I go places, I think it is true--I'm not my whole self, for which everyone who knows me should be glad, because there are parts of myself I don't particularly like, and it would be a shame to impose them on the rest of the world. Anyway, it does seem kind of hypocritical, like we are putting on an act, right? That is, I think, what we don't like about not being ourselves.

But for me, when I go places, I find that I tend to be my best self. Not always--sometimes I am my very shy, introverted self. Or my quiet, awkward self. But, even so, I'm trying to be my best self. Not the frustrated, tired, sick-of-my-situation self. Not the rude, mean, sarcastic self. (Admittedly, sometimes that does start to show, but I try really hard to leave it at home). I try to be the caring, cheerful, positive self. I try to be the self that just likes to see people laugh, and smile. I go to church on Sundays knowing that one of my friends will be there, and I try my darndest to have an entertaining story for her. It does me good, because right now, life stinks in so many ways, and it's so easy to not be that person. So when I go out in public, I have the opportunity to shed all the negative, and to really be the person I want to be all the time. And then I get to take a piece of that with me so that when I am not in public anymore, I still have a bit of the best me.

For me at least, I am not my whole self in public, but I am my best self. Now I just wish I knew how to be my best self all the time.

Fortunate falls

I checked out this CD from the library, and then somehow, it got misplaced. I cleaned up my 15 square feet of bedroom and couldn't find it, so the next place was to check my car. I grabbed a box of garbage to take out while I was at it and headed downstairs. And managed to trip/slip on the stairs. Which led to dropping the box of garbage. Which led to a mess. So I started cleaning it up, and whadaya know, the CD was in the box.

Had I not slipped, the CD would have ended up in the garbage, and I never would have found it, and who wants to pay for a CD that they don't even get to have? So, it was very fortunate that I happened to slip on the stairs, because otherwise, the CD would be in a landfill right now.

I'm crossing my fingers that this is a life lesson, that sometimes you have to fall for fortune to favor you. I'm really hoping that is the case, because if so, then something totally awesome is headed my way. 

No kidding...

Real comment made by an announcer for the mens high bar at the Olympics, made roughly 30 seconds ago: "It is just unreal. Just when you have a reason to get a little full of of yourself, life smacks you down." Which is why I prefer not to get full of myself. It saves a lot of trouble.

I actually had a job where, I kid you not, every time my boss told me what a great job I'd done, within a few days I'd botch something up pretty good.

Anyway, Olympics. I gotta say, I really love the Olympics. I have next to zero coordination, so I love to watch people who have that talent. But, I hate the commentary. Honestly. Do we have to make it so dramatic? I know it's a big deal for them, but the broadcasting is just a smidge (smidge=loads) over the top. I get that these people have had their ups and downs. But I don't know anyone who hasn't. I don't know. It just gets too melodramatic. I just want to watch them perform. I don't want to go on an emotional journey through their life. And, couldn't we see a lot more events if they didn't take 15 minutes to biograph every athlete for each event they perform in? I just find it turns something worthwhile and good into something ludicrous. Then I can't help making fun of it, and then people end up laughing, which just isn't fair to the athletes.

I think the real problem is that the commentators were miscast. They were shooting for some prime time drama, and ended up with the Olympics. There is only one thing to do, and that is to mock them. Which works for me, because I was definitely meant to be cast in a comedy. I've been making my niece laugh all night, which is my equivalent of a gold medal. Go team me!

Bits and pieces

On Tuesday of this week, I was driving home late at night, and there was the most fantastic lightning storm. I wish I had been able to get pictures or video, but even if I had, they wouldn't really be as good as the real thing. It was so incredible. I kept wishing I could just pull over and watch. But it was so beautiful.

The next morning it rained, and I love rain. There were puddles in the gutter and my nieces and nephews went out and played in them. I used to do that when I was a kid. I loved playing in the gutter. (Hmmm, that doesn't sound so good...) We'd build dams and splash up and down, whenever water ran through the gutter--watering the lawn, rain. The kids had so much fun, and it just made me happy to see.

I made a cake for my sister's birthday. It's kind of become a tradition. She and her family were expats for a while, and they tended to be visiting the states around her birthday. Somehow, it always ended up that she was traveling between grandparents houses, and would often stay with me on or near her birthday. So, the kids and I would make her a cake (her husband usually had to be back at work, so he couldn't be there). And the last couple of years, I've been nearby, so we've done the same thing. This year, she requested this one, which my niece and I made once before. It was just a little too rich. We'd also had leftover frosting and ganache from the last cake. I had just enough frosting to frost the layers (I made it into 2) and sides, but not the top. But there was enough ganache to do the top. So, that's what I did. Then the kids helped me decorate with Peanut Butter M&M's.

 It was perfect. The first cake had been just a bit too rich--we had frosted the entire thing, and then put ganache on our individual slices, because the place the cake was on didn't allow for ganaching. It would have dripped over the sides. Anyway, with all the frosting and the ganache, it was too rich. But this way--without a layer of frosting under the ganache, it was just right. Not too rich, and the M&M's were a nice touch. I mean, what a perfect touch for a Chocolate Peanut Butter cake. Anyway, it was a beautiful cake, and I was so pleased. It seems silly, but my sister seemed really excited, and it made me feel so good. Just a little thing, but I needed it.

Anyway, just a few little tender mercies. And I'm sorry if you are now salivating and craving cake. Place an order, and I'll see if I can put in a good word with the Cake Fairy. 

Lesson Learned

So, I have been thinking for a while now (a while being equal to sometime between the last few months and the last decade. It's a ballpark figure of a word) about how, when we have a hard experience, we sometimes look for lessons that we learned from the experience. Having been through some rough patches recently, I've had a lot of opportunity to hear about what I might learn from the experience. And frankly, it annoys me.

So many of the things we learn seem so trite. At times, I have wanted to look at the person and say, "I went through this inferno to learn that piddly lesson? You must be joking. The tuition was incredibly disproportionate to the learning outcomes."

What I have decided in all my pondering and pain is that it isn't about learning. Learning is far less useful than we think. For example, I can learn how to be an archivist. But that doesn't make me one. These hard experiences are really about becoming. It isn't enough to just learn something from them, some trite little lesson that we can store away and will probably never need again. We have to become something. When I am in a hard time, I find very little comfort in what I could learn from it. For example, I am looking for a job, and it's a rough situation. What have I learned? Well, for starters, job hunting stinks. Also, that it's hard to be patient. And that I hate limbo. What future applications do these little lessons have for the next rough patch? Not much that will do anything to really change a situation.

But, I am becoming more patient. I am becoming better at trusting God. I am becoming someone who really tries to find something good in life, even though I don't always succeed. I am becoming stronger and better. What value does that have next time I'm in a rough spot? The next time I am having a hard time, I will deal with it better. I will be prepared with the basic skills I need to weather it--patience, faith, courage, strength. I have seen that happen. A few years ago, I had a bout with clinical depression. I have been looking back at that, and honestly, I don't know what I learned from it, other than depression is pretty hellish. (Sorry, it is just the most apt word to describe it. Not trying to be flippant). But, what did I become? So, so much. I look at what I became, and I wouldn't trade that for not having had the experience. Learning is good, but becoming is redemptive. I can do a lot of things if I can become better for it.

So the next time someone you know is having a hard time, don't tell them what they are learning. Help them see what they are becoming. It is hard to have the big picture perspective when life is hard. If you can help them see even just a piece of that big picture, then you will really have helped them.

Ad Lib

I've been applying for jobs, and contemplating what type of interview questions might come up. There is the classic "What is your greatest weakness?" (I had an interview, and they specified I could not use the words "workaholic" or "overachiever" in my answer. I gave them 50 points).  It got me thinking, do they ever ask what your strength is? Because, I think I know the answer to that question. If there is one thing I'm good at, it's winging it. Seriously. I've been doing it for many years.

I suppose I really shouldn't say I'm good at it. I have no idea how successful I am at winging it, I may just be kidding myself. But, I can say with a great deal of certainly that I have no clue what I'm doing. I know I'm supposed to be an adult and all, and that implies having some sort of plan and experience and knowledge about life, but I don't. If there is a manual or something out there, I'd love to see a copy. I get up in the morning, and fake it through the day.

Most things, that is okay. I mean, when I make decisions about when to get an oil change, or what to do after work, it's not that crucial what happens. Should I shop at Store A or Store B? Eh, pick one, act like you have a clue. No biggie. But there are some decisions, some things you do, that it kind of does matter. For example, starting a new job. Now, I think there is an element of winging it in that situation, no matter how qualified you are. You are trying to do a good job, impress your employers, get the hang of things. You can never know exactly how things are going to go, so yes, you wing it. And being able to wing it is really important in this case. Because it means that you can deal with the unexpected. Winging it gives you a lot of creative thinking skills. And that is very useful in life. Because life is never what you expect.

Little Pleasures

A couple of nights ago, I woke up in the middle of the night to a fantastic storm. I may have mentioned htis before, a few dozen times, but I really love rainstorms. I was a little stressed that it was in the middle of the night and I couldn't sleep, because I was really tired. But, I still appreciated it.

I also enjoyed the rain from the day before. There was a rainbow, and it was a nice little bonus at the end of the day.

Last night, there was a really nice sunset. It was one of those blazing suns, and it made my drive home nicer.

It's the little things that really make life better. 

Skill Set

So, last night I went with my sister and her kids to one of the campus eateries. I would say cafeteria, but this is not cafeteria food. Cafeteria food makes me think of funny smells and for some reason "food like substances" comes to mind. Not that cafeterias are always like that, there is just that connotation. Anyway, back to the story. We go to the cafeteria, and the rule is salad first. I become the hero because I get the three-year old to eat salad. (Amazing what bacon, ranch, and sitting on someone's lap will do). Then he decided I was going to eat pizza, so I had some. and then we toured the other food options. En route, he picked up a peach. Somewhere during dinner, he took some bites out of it, and he kept saying, "It has funny eyes!" He had eaten a face onto the peach--eyes and a mouth. I am not sure if this was intentional, but it was pretty impressive. We finally figured out what he had done when he started chasing people with his peach monster. I myself ended up with some peach juice patches on my clothing. (He was very proud of that peach monster, but he did finally devour the whole peach).

The Peach Monster (he is poking one of its eyes)

One of the highlights of this outing was the soft serve ice cream machine. The kids love it. I saw it and wondered if I still had it in me. I worked at a fast food place the summer after my freshman year, and made a lot of soft serve ice cream cones. There is a certain knack to making them look good. It has been a long time since I worked there, and I haven't made a soft serve cone since, but I figured I'd give it a go. It was like riding a bike. I served up some beautiful ice cream cones, I must say.

So, the good news is, if I fail to find a job, I can fall back on my skills as a soft serve server. Or, if anyone needs help getting their 3 year old to eat veggies, that is part of my repertoire, too. Now those are some skills, my friends.

Cannibalistic Bullfrogs and Boggy-Hillocks Batman!

The other day, my niece was telling me about a website that will give you a hobbit name, and it was really fun and entertaining, and we were having a great time laughing at the silliness of it all. And one of the last names it generated was Boggy Hillocks, which is just hilarious, and should be used as an exclamatory phrase whenever possible. "Boggy Hillocks, I lost my keys!" or "Oh, Boggy-Hillocks, I forgot!"

And that reminded me of another funny phrase. I was working with some records one day (paper records, that is. Not that many people know what a vinyl record is anymore, but just in case you were confused), and my co-worker found some records about a guy's trip down south where he encountered cannibalistic bullfrogs. Isn't that a great phrase? "Cannibalistic bullfrogs!" Works for frustration, excitement, or general silliness. And, honestly, can you come up with a better name for a band? I would totally go listen to a band called the Cannibalistic Bullfrogs (as long as they weren't heavy metal or something like that, which just isn't my thing).

Words are so much fun. I am kind of a nerd about words, and have been known to flip through the dictionary looking for fun new words. I am not a favorites person, but I have a favorite word (defenestrate. I just love that we have a word that means that). My favorite shows and books are the ones that have a creative use of language. Clever use of language is a sign of real wit.

I have one simple rule when it comes to words. If you can communicate your meaning with it, it is a word. Gives a lot of leeway to proper speech. And leads to a lot of fun.

So, yeah. I don't think this post really has much of a point, other than words are cool and you should have lots of fun with them. The End.

Just because

One of my goals this year is to improve my photography skills. So, I tend to carry my camera a lot. (Well, for that, and to prevent a certain 3-year old from using it as his toy). It comes in handy when you come across odd things, like tic-tac-toe boards in the sky:

It is also great to have on hand when I come across funny signs. Every now and then, you just come across a sign that is noteworthy. Like this one:

I've never been in a Wheel Control Zone before. Well, before I saw this, that is.








I also saw this sign, which I couldn't pass up. I hope someday, someone says that about the Cake Fairy someday.

So, that is some of the fun I've been having with pictures lately. I know I'm not an amazing photographer, but I have been having fun, and at some point, I'll find some of my really good ones and post them.

On the bright side

My life has seemed pretty bummerish lately and I decided I am definitely in need of some positives. So, despite all of the crazy frustrations of life, there are some bright sides:

It is raining. Not just a little rain. A nice downpour, with thunder and lightning. This is one of my favorite kinds of weather.
I got up at a reasonable time!
There is cake baking on the docket for the day.
I have a nice name. I have not had to go through life with a name like Buttercup.
I practiced the piano this morning.
I listened to some great music this morning. (not referring to the music I played on the piano. Not that that wasn't great, but I am thinking of other music).
There is still chocolate in the world.
I was reminded of an excellent book I read a long time ago, and now I can read it again.
I may have found a place for an eye exam that only costs half an arm.
I don't have to drive anywhere today.
My nephew just asked if we can play Cheddar Cheese, meaning Parcheesi.
I am starting a new book--reading it, that is. Not writing it. (Now I just have to decide which one!)
The other day, I saw a mole. It was awesome. I especially liked watching his trail as he ran away through the grass.

So, life could definitely be worse. Not that I'd complain if my life settled down a bit, but, hey, why complain?

Recalculating

I have a GPS. Right now, it is set to Jill, but I think I need to change it to Jack. It is so much more fun to say "Come on Jack" than "Come on Jill." Which is another discussion altogether and not the topic of this post. See, the thing with Jill is that she doesn't always give the most logical directions. She gets me where I am going, but sometimes she adds steps making it more complicated than it needs to be. I volunteer at the American Museum of Magic each week, and Jill gives me directions to get off the interstate, drive through town, and then get back on the interstate, instead of having me drive one exit further to the junction where the N/S interstate hooks up with the E/W interstate. And Jill always has me skip the closest on-ramp and drive to the next one. It does make one wonder. So, yes, even though Jill is more geographically adept than I am, she is not the most efficient router I've ever come across. I bet there is some brilliant life analogy, but I'm just going to leave it at a funny GPS.

Why the chicken crossed the road

You always wondered. Now you know.

Story Time

Yesterday, I ended up inadvertently starting a new game with my almost three-year old nephew. It goes like this:
Me: Tell me a story about a monkey.
Him: Once upon a time there was a monkey.
Me: What did the monkey like to do?
Then my nephew answers the question, and I ask another question, and so on. And it isn't always a monkey, but I think that is his favorite. So, here is the story we just told, as well as I can remember:

Me: Tell me a story about a monkey.
Him: Once upon a time there was a monkey.
Me: What did the monkey like to do?
Him: ummmm, play with the dragon.
Me: What did the monkey and the dragon like to play?
[I can't remember the first thing they liked to do, so I'm skipping to the next part]
And then what did they do?
Um, they play with the block-thing.
Oh, they played with the block thing? Did they build towers?
uh [This is not really what he says. It is this sound halfway between yeah and no, and it's not a real word, just that uh noise, and I'm guessing it means yes]
And knock them over?
uh
And build them again?
uh.
Then what did they do?
They climbed on the blocks.
And then what did they do?
They bonked their heads.
Oh no! Then what did they do?
They fell off.
And did they bonk their heads again on the ground?
Uh.
And then what happened?
The monkey's mommy kissed it better.
And then what happened?
They went to the library school.
And what did they do at the library school? Did they read books?
uh.
Did they read abc books?
uh.
And number books?
uh.
And then what did they do after library school?
They made birds.
They made birds?
And fish.
They made fish?
And the dragon made a fish too.
They both made fish?
Uh.
Is that the end?
No.
And then what did they do?
They play on the trampoline.
They played on the trampoline?
on two.
There were two trampolines?
Uh. And the monkey mom helped them.
And then what did they do? Were they tired?
Uh.
So they went home and put on their pajamas?
Uh.
And brushed their teeth? I bet that dragon brushed his teeth.
Uh [he is smiling]
And they went to bed?
Uh.

Then, of course, he wanted to do it again (because this is the final step of the game: Let's do it again, and then we start all over). But, I promised him we would do it tomorrow, and by this time he was in bed, so mission accomplished.

Anyway, it is an entertaining game, and it enhances creativity in players of all ages. So I recommend it. Go ahead. Tell me a story about a monkey...

The Secret to Success

It is a little bit of a challenge to feel like a success when you are living with family while looking for a job, only employed part time, and feel completely dependent on others. (Even though realistically, you aren't, but we don't always feel in line with reality). A friend and I were commiserating this week, and made a fabulous realization: despite our circumstances, we are successful. And of course, the natural thing to do, having achieved success, is to write a book about it. So, here is a small glimpse of what our book on the secrets to success will include:

Part 1: All the things I'm not
Chapter 1: I am not Justin Bieber
Chapter 2: I am not one of the Backstreet Boys
Chapter 3: I am not related to Justin Bieber or the Backstreet Boys

Chapter 4: I have never been on the cover of a tabloid
(who knew you could be so successful just by NOT being things?)

Part 2: People like me
Chapter 5: Small children like me
Chapter 6: I know how to win friends and influence people...using baked goods
Chapter 7: I don't need Facebook to have friends

That, of course is just a start.  Many more secrets of success will be revealed, so be on the lookout for the final product!

Transfer

I was looking at my blog labels and I decided I needed to create a controlled vocabulary. And then I chuckled a little bit, because controlled vocabularies are what one studies in library school, which I just finished doing. This is a fine example of what we call transfer (something I learned about in--you guessed it--a library class).

I am glad to know that I actually learned something. Your tax dollars have not been wasted.

Welcome to Limbo (Or, The Joys of the Unknown)

I recently moved from Graduate Student to Limbo, and it has been quite the experience. Along with the mental move, there was a physical move, which has provided all sorts of adventures, but it is mostly the mental move that has been the challenge. Going from Certainty to Uncertainty and not losing your sanity along the way is quite a feat.

As I've been trying to figure out how to cope in limbo land, I've had the opportunity to ponder what life would be like if we knew what was going to happen. Sometimes, it seems like it would be absolutely terrific if someone handed us a script, so that we knew that in Act V, we are jobless and everything is uncertain, but then in Act VI, all the pieces fall into place and life worked out. And we'd see all the little things in Act V that led to Act VI, and everything in Act V would make more sense, and we would be able to say, "Ah, see, this bump in the road is okay, because it leads to good things." But we don't get a script, and so we don't get to know those things.

Which is okay. Because where would the adventure be? How would that ever be interesting? Having experienced being completely in the dark, I can honestly say, I would rather have those moments than know the whole story. And, yes, I have thought that in the dark moments. (Not for long, but I have thought and believed that, so I'm not bluffing).

Besides, we are never totally clueless. Not really. I am a believer in God, and I have a lot of faith in Him, so I know He's going to work things out, if I work with Him. And I know what I am looking for, and I have bits and pieces of what is coming my way. Even if I don't know the exact details, I DO know life will be okay, and this is just a temporary thing. And in the meantime, I choose to make life an adventure. Generally. (Some days, bed is just a nice place to be).

It's like when I read the final Harry Potter book. I admit. I cheated. I read the last sentence. I do this often with books--read snatches from the end. You may think that it would ruin the reading experience. But let's face it: "The world was okay" or whatever the exact phrasing in Harry Potter 7's last sentence is hardly gives away the story. I think everyone needs to be able to read the end of their story and know that it's going to be okay. Then when you are in limbo and have no idea how life is ever going to come together, you have something to count on--that somehow, it will. And that is enough. Knowing exactly how really would take all the fun out of life.

So, even though I am in Limbo, and I can think of places I'd rather be, I'm okay here. Somehow, it is all going to work out and personally, I'm excited to see how. It is definitely going to be a great story.

just can't win

The last couple of weeks I have had several ideas floating around for posts. Have I written them? Clearly, no. When I have ideas, I seem to lack time. When I have time, I seem to lack ideas. This is a serious problem. I am accepting submissions for solutions. The winner will get a Cake Fairy coupon.

Anyway, just so that May does not vanish from the archive, here are some future blog posts you might look forward to:
Elise's guide to language usage: Made up words are fun
In my spare time
The joys of the unknown (no, that is not sarcastic)
Presidential platforms, or why you should vote for me
Lessons learned, or I'm glad I'm me
Kids say the darndest things (which means I'd better start keeping track of the darndest things they say)
"I've been turned into a cow. May I be excused?"  (to properly cite this, it's a line from Emperor's New Groove)
Make 'em laugh
Conversations

So there you have it. A few possible posts that may or may not be forthcoming, when I have thought them all out. And, now you know I have not abandoned this blog. I've just been busy living, so I have something to say on it.

To-Do...Check

Today, I graduated. I now have a Master's degree. And, I gotta tell ya (excuse my slang), it feels really good. I'm proud of myself. I am the first woman in my immediate family to receive a Master's degree--not because the other women in my family couldn't get one, just because their life took a different course. And I feel like this is me doing something because I chose to do it, rather than me following in footsteps (Dear women in my family: You have left me excellent footsteps to follow in, and I am grateful). I am also proud, because I have set 5 major goals for my life, things I want to accomplish, and this is the first one I get to cross of the list. It is seriously exciting.

I have really cherished this experience. There was a pretty long gap between my undergraduate and graduate education, and while I loved my undergraduate experience, I treasure this one. I feel like I have grown so much as a person, and really become something. I can't say I feel like I know how to deal with everything in life, but I do feel like I am capable. I am intelligent. I never would have seen myself as who I am, and you know what? I like myself. I really do.

I also treasure the people I have met here. I am going to miss our little graduate program community. I know we are all going to go different directions, but I plan to keep in touch with them and I am glad we will still be able to interact professionally, because it's great to have your friends as your colleagues (and vice versa). So, congratulations to all of them, too, because they have done a great thing.

I am so grateful for the opportunities I have had. I don't know what the future will bring--right now it is pretty uncertain, but I this has been a wonderful adventure and I hope the next one is just as good.

Laughter: The Best Medicine

Life is hard. Not that it is rotten and miserable, but it is hard, and sometimes, it is harder than others. How do you tell how hard life is? For me, I can tell how hard things are by how long it takes to be able to laugh at them. For example, the time I got hit by a truck while riding my bike home. Kind of rotten, but really, it makes a fantastic story, and I was laughing about it a couple of hours later. Having my appendix rupture during my first semester of college? Surprisingly comical. (No, really: a jeep with no shocks, the potato-dog-fish, being totally out of it and trying to make sense, an entire day of tests to figure out what was the problem, and the determining factor was hitting the bottom of my feet. It is hilarious).

Some things are so hard that we never laugh about them. But you know you are going to be okay if you can still laugh and smile during them. Not that you have to do that constantly, but if you can still find things to laugh at, then you haven't hit rock bottom. Rock bottom is a place I hope none of you ever go. It is not a pretty place. It's hard, and rocky. So, yeah.

Right now, I don't feel much like laughing most of the time. But, I have been listening to back episodes of Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!, partly to keep me from focusing too much on how stressed I am, partly because it doesn't involve a lot of brain power, which means I can listen while I work on stuff, and a lot because it makes me laugh. It really does. And, I like to hear myself laugh, because it tells me I still feel things, and I can still laugh, and I'm going to be okay. So, yeah. Laughter, it really is good medicine.

Font Use: A General Guide

I spent three years doing work that involved using and knowing a bit about fonts, and in the process, became a bit of a fontist, and I am the first to admit I can be a bit snobbish about fonts. Not that I am by any means a professional snob about it. It's just a hobby of mine. (People think this is weird, but when you do something 8+ hours a day, it becomes a piece of you. This is why we talk shop outside of work). I tend to pick out fonts, and I notice how they are used. And I notice odd things like the shapes of letters, from time to time.
If you are at all aware of anything to do with fonts, you will know that there is a big stink about Comic Sans. People hate it. There is an anti-movement that, while less publicized than the Occupy movement, has lasted considerably longer. The problem, though, isn't with the font. The problem is with how it has been used. So, as a font snob, here is a basic guide to font usage for anyone who is interested.

1. Most fonts have an appropriate use. (I'm still not sure what the use of wingdings is, but if I were 10, and wanted to type a coded letter to a friend, I'd consider using wingdings). I'm not going to rule out the possibility that there is a font out there that has absolutely no logical use, but I think generally, there is probably a time and a place for every font. Even Comic Sans. For example, if you are teaching kids to read, Comic Sans is one of the best fonts to use. If you are writing a comic book, Comic Sans is great. If you are designing corporate letterhead? Not so much. Unless you are a corporation of 6-year olds.
2. Fonts create an image. Before using a font, consider what image you want to create. On my resume, I use Garamond--it has an elegance to it that is not as standard as what Times New Roman offers, and because I'm an archivist, the serifs add a touch of old school classicness that I find appropriate. Now, if I were in a more tech industry, I'd go with a Sans Serif font. It all depends on what image you want.
3. Not everything requires a unique font. When I write papers, I do not spend time thinking about what font to use. It's a paper. Go with your standards: Times New Roman, Arial, Calibri (I am really liking this new choice as a default), etc. Don't over think it. And, for a paper, no, you probably shouldn't use Comic Sans.
4. Keep it simple. You know how they say too many fonts on a resume is bad? That is just a good rule in general. Too many fonts on anything is pretty tacky. Now, I create projects that involve lots of pages, and I like to customize and vary my fonts--but not on the same page. Spread it out. (I think one exception was I had a page where I printed off a bunch of quotes people had said. In that case, I did use a different font for each quote, and I think it worked okay. But as a general rule, this is a no-no).
5. Just because Comic Sans is out, doesn't mean we should all start using Papyrus. I swear, Papyrus is becoming the new Comic Sans. Papyrus is a nice font, and has it's uses--it has a nice elegant look to it, but it does NOT belong on the menu for a Mexican restaurant. And it isn't exactly the image I'd choose for a landscaping company. It's a bit weird to see it on the side of a truck. Remember rule 1?
6. After some point, there are really only so many serif/sans serif fonts a person needs. Or script fonts. Or any other kind of font. So, before you download every font known to man, consider how many you have like it. (This is for all you font collectors. I have this problem. And after a while, I find I mostly use fonts beginning with A, because the list of fonts to search through is too long to make it to z). Most people aren't going to notice the difference between the serifs or the shape of your O, so why bother having them?
7. Fonts are fun. And specialty fonts are fun to have. But, the only time I will ever use my Doctor Seuss font is if I am hosting a Doctor Seuss party. Remember Rules 1 and 2.

So there you have it. My basic guide to fonts. It is by no means comprehensive, but it is a good general set of guidelines for you. Now, go, enjoy the fonts around you.

Piece of Cake

I have this thing where, from time to time, I make baked good and then pack them up, and take them with me somewhere, and give them out to people that I think could use some sweet goodness in their life. This may sound like a bizarre and potentially dangerous  thing to do, but since I am generally giving them out in settings where I know the people there, it's really less risky than you might think, other than the chance that someone who did not get sweet goodness will start a riot. Which to date has not happened, and I really don't anticipate it. But if for some odd reason I completely lost my mind and ran for President (hey, just a few more years and I'm eligible, now that I think of it), I would definitely be running on a cake platform.

So, today I distributed cake to three friends in my program. I actually planned giving it to one friend, who had been raving about my cakes, and I realized it had been a while since I'd given her cake, and I felt an urgent need to remedy the situation. And I thought it would be nice to give some to another friend of mine, just because. And I had a third container of cake, and saw a third friend, and thought, "Yes. He needs cake." And, go figure, he did.

I sometimes worry that people will feel kind of bad that I didn't actually think of them from the outset, but so far, no one has complained. I think it is just taking the whole "Be prepared" motto to a new level. Help an old lady cross the street, have delicious baked goods on hand to share with those in need. It is just being prepared to make someone's day. (This  may be why I am sometimes referred to as a cake fairy. Maybe.)

Anyway, if you ever want to feel like you've made a difference in the world, you should try giving people cake. Honestly. You won't regret it.

The tech magnet

So, I am not the most techy person, but I do have a fair bit of cool technological gizmos. And I tend to take them with me when I go places--GPS, laptop, phone, camera, iPod. (Yeah, that is about the extent of my technological coolness. And the iPod? It's a 4-year old touch. Does that make it less cool? It was very cool 4 years ago). A couple of weekends ago, I went to my sister's. Now, she has 5 kids, the youngest of whom is in the 3ish range. And loves tech gadgets. And calls the iPod "the other phone". And asks me, in his very cute almost 3ish way, "Can I play with your other phone?" And I am a sucker, so I let him. (Probably good that he's into the other phone, now that he's figured out how to slide open my actual phone. He once dialed 555-555-555-555555. I don't want to see what else he might dial). He also develops this unusual burning desire to sit on my lap when I have my laptop out. I'm not fooled. It's not because he wants to snuggle with me. He wants to play with the laptop. (I'm less of a sucker for this trick).

Back to the story. So, I went to visit, and he asked if he could play with my other phone. And I pulled it out and gave it to him. No other kids in sight. Within seconds, he was surrounded by siblings trying to coach him or coax the iPod out of his hands. It was fascinating. And I saw the same phenomenon in church the next day. Someone in the row in front of us had an iPad, and as soon as they noticed, there was this migration to the vicinity of the iPad, and hovering over the bench.

I think that scientists need to research this effect, and find a way to harness the magnetic power of technology. It has potential.

It's raining, it's pouring

I am sitting in my living room, which since the move has a very nice view of something other than the parking lot, and it is raining. Hard. Lightning, and thunder, and downpour. I love storms like this. And I am really enjoying being able to enjoy it. And the next best part? I don't have to worry about waking up in a puddle.

Road Trip

This weekend I drove to Indiana for a Conference. (Wow, how professional!) It was an interesting drive on the way down. The first half of the trip was rain. Sometimes a LOT of rain. Rain to the point that it was pretty pointless to have the wipers going, because they couldn't keep up. When the rain finally let up, it was wind. Strong wind. VERY strong wind. Yeah, that might have had something to do with the tornadoes that wreaked havoc on that part of the country. Not that I saw any tornadoes--I'm not sure they made it as far as I was--but I was kind of in that area of the country. For the record, if that is the closest I ever get to seeing or experiencing a tornado, I will be just fine. I will not feel like I have been robbed at all.
I saw some interesting signs on my trip. I have this new hobby in which I find funny signs. There weren't any super funny signs, although I did like Tippy Ditch. I also have to comment on Gas City, Indiana. I am sure that it is a lovely town, and I have nothing against the town. But I definitely think they could have found a more suitable font for their water tower than Comic Sans. Don't get me wrong--I am not a Comic Sans hater. The font has its highly appropriate uses. But of the thousands of choices available, it's not the font I would choose to highlight my city on a water tower. That's just me though. (And I am a self-convicted font snob).
Indiana was beautiful. I really enjoyed the scenery, and it was a lovely drive. I was kind of sad that I couldn't stop and take pictures, and since taking pictures while driving is not a practice I recommend, I had to let it go, but I wish I had some pictures. I also discovered the James Dean Museum, and was kind of sad I didn't have time to goof off and see it. Not because I am a huge James Dean fan (although, I did really like East of Eden. But not just because it had James Dean). Just because it would have been an entertainingly goofy thing to do. But the website indicates it wouldn't be open right now anyway, so I feel a little better.
Anyway, it was a whirlwind trip--down on Friday and back on Saturday, but it wasn't bad. It was nice to get away and see some more of the country. Yay for road trips!

Silver linings

On Monday, I went out to my car to go to campus to meet up for a team project, and lo and behold, my tire was flat. Not exactly what I really needed to start my day (even though it was almost noon), or my week. Anyway, I ended up catching the bus, and the rest of my day worked out, but I was faced with having to replace my tire, which was tricky because my hours happen to be during the hours that businesses open. But that is not the point of the story.
When I put on the spare, I discovered that there was a nail in my tire, which is what caused the flat. So much trouble because of a nail!
I did manage to go in and have my tire changed, and when they were changing them, they discovered that one of the rims was cracked, and therefore unsafe to drive on. Another rim was bent enough that at some point, it would probably suffer the same problem. So, I had them replaced, and now my car is safe to drive, at least as far as tires and rims go. Not really something I could afford, but better that than be dead.
As I was telling my sister about this particular little stress in my life, I realized that the nail was a little blessing in disguise. I don't know how dangerous it was to be driving on that cracked rim, but it can't have been good, and I never would have known about it if I hadn't gotten a nail in my tire. Which just goes to show that sometimes there is a silver lining to our clouds.

Not a passing grade

This morning, I slept in. Which would have been fine, except that it wasn't. I woke up and I could not for the life of me figure out what day it was, and when I did figure it out, it was not very relaxing, because I realized I was supposed to be in class in half an hour. Not the smoothest start to the day, which is more or less the way my life is going right now. Not smoothly. I think if I were being graded, I would not be passing. Definitely failing at life at the moment. I suppose on the bright side, though, I don't have to worry about losing a scholarship, or getting kicked out or suspended or anything like that. So, hey, at least there's that. Life isn't too bad, after all.

Sometimes the right hand should know what the left hand is doing

As I mentioned, I recently had to vacate the Puddle. My new apartment, by the way, is much less puddle-like, but I digress. In the process of moving, I naturally had to change my internet service over to the new address. I took care of this the day after I decided to go ahead with the move, and 5 days before the move. Everything went great, except for the fact that they didn't have any appointments available until Thursday, 3 days after I moved. Now, I'm not entirely sure what this appointment is, because I never met with anyone, and I'm not sure what they were doing during the week while I was waiting for them to switch my internet. It doesn't make much sense to me, but there wasn't a whole lot I could do about it.
So on Thursday, I got home, and tried to get the internet working. No luck. I checked the confirmation letter, and it said that it may not be activated until 8pm. So I waited and waited and that night, I tried again. Nothing. Since I couldn't do anything about it then, I decided to deal with it the next day and went to bed.
The next day, I tried calling on my way to work. My reward was to be on hold for 15 minutes, with a message every twenty seconds saying, "Your call is important to us. Thank you for waiting." I finally had to hang up because I got to work. Then I tried to get an agent on chat--there were no agents available to help me. Wait a minute, what about the blurb on the internet that said 24/7 assistance?
I finally got a hold of them on my way home from work. I don't like to have conversations on the bus, but I had no option. After talking to three reps, I learned that according to them, my order didn't go through. "But wait a minute. Your automated system told me my order status" (which was, your order is open and should have been resolved yesterday, it just wasn't) "and I got the equipment in the mail, with a confirmation letter." No, they insisted (and yes, the rep had an accent, which I only mention to illustrate that whoever was handling this was not local and had never seen anything about me, so of course she is not going to be able to help me much. She can only do so much), your order didn't go through and we have to create a new account.
Now, I was getting just a bit mad. They botched the initial setup of my internet a year and a half ago, on a weekend when I had a paper to write that required use of the internet (I had to compare internet sites). And, now I had another paper due that required looking at policies online, and they had botched my internet. Again. I was not thrilled. And they were assuring me that they were the best company for my needs?!
Feeling out of options, I set up a new account, with the promise that my internet service would be up on Monday. As the rep confirmed the order, she said, "Alright, we have your account, and it will be activated on Wednesday." Taking care of the customer, right to the end. Go team.
Ten minutes after I hung up, I got a phone call. It was Ernesto, an internet technician (who was definitely local). He apologized that my internet hadn't been activated the day before, as promised. There was a problem with some equipment, but they were repairing it, and my internet would be activated by the end of the day. And it was. Because there was never anything wrong with my order. Someone just failed to let their other hand know what the heck was going on.
My reward? I get to call back and cancel the new account they set up for me. I'm so lucky!

Scientific Proof

I was doing a bit of web archiving QA at work the other day, and stumbled across this article, which just supports my theory that naps would increase world peace. Between that and my campaign for stabby desserts, I plan on winning the Nobel Peace Prize this year.