What not to do

What is it about me that invites weird strangers to ask me out around public transportation? This is something that continues to baffle me, and I'd really like to know. (Maybe it's the fact that I use public transportation. Seriously, though, a person should be able to use public transit without being hit on).

I was riding the train home from running some errands the other day, and it happened yet again. There I was, thinking about eating an apple when I got home (not making eye contact, for the record), and a complete stranger asked me for my phone number. So, let me spell out how not to hit on a girl.

1. Public transit is NOT a dating service. The only thing that you can deduce with any certainty that 2 people on a train have in common is that the are riding that train. This is not sufficient commonality to think you'd have a good time together. So do NOT approach me to get my number. 

2. Do NOT ask me for my phone number when our encounter history includes 3 minutes on a train not talking or looking at each other, and you telling me I'm beautiful. You are a stranger and I, being an intelligent human being with more than half a brain, do NOT give my phone number to strangers on a train.

3. Do NOT tell me I'm beautiful and then ask me for my number when you don't know me. Maybe you think it's flattering to tell me I'm beautiful. You are wrong. If you are sincere, it simply means that all you are going for me due to my looks, which is not enough to make me believe you have any interest in me in my entirety. But, given that you are a stranger (I actually know Adam better than you), I'm skeptical about your sincerity, so it just doesn't come off well at all. So just don't even do it. Don't tell me I'm beautiful at any point in our conversation. You won't win points, at least not with me.

4. Do NOT tell me you are working 2 jobs and sending money to the folks in Mexico. While I admire that you are helping your family, and a hard worker, it would be really hard for me to have more earning power than my spouse. Honestly, it just reminds me of the days when I was getting hit on in the Dominican Republic all the time, because I was American and a passport to the U.S. So, no, it doesn't really help.

5. Do NOT keep asking for my phone number when I've told you no. The total number of times you should ask for my phone number is zero. Don't do it once, but especially don't keep doing it over and over. 

6. Do NOT get off at my stop and ask me for my number again. You interrupted me while listening to a book on the train and you have bombarded me with requests for my number. You seem to think there's a possibility that we could hit it off, which is kind of insulting to me, you've asked questions you have no business asking. So do the world a favor, and just don't even get off at my stop. 

If you want to break these rules, be my guest, but do it with someone else. Don't even try with me. It's not that I don't want to date and get married. I just know that my type doesn't include someone who would hit on people on public transit. So save us both some time and awkwardness, and let me think about my apple. 

Missing things

I miss living in a place where apartment buildings use laundry cards instead of quarters.
I miss an apartment complex with a gym.
I miss an apartment complex with an office for management.
I miss a dishwasher.
I miss my grocery store.
I miss having a usual living in a radius bigger than 3 blocks (even if I do get to ride a train to get out of my radius).
I miss central heating.
I miss open, free parking at my place of residence.

But I still don't miss the goose poop.

Good riddance

I confess, I jumped on the Candy Crush bandwagon a while ago. While I have many apps to play, that one was kind of the go to one. Which I guess was fine--it filled up time on the bus ride and all. But I also noticed that I'd end up playing when I should have been doing other things (like getting sleep!), for no reason other than I had lives. "Oh, it's 10:00. I should get ready for bed. But, I have 3 more lives. So I'll play until I have no more lives." And even that would be a different story if I was actually enjoying it, but I wasn't even enjoying it. It was just the thing that I did. Talk about zombie apocalypse.

So, while I was at my sister's for Christmas, we were having a conversation about I-don't-even-recall-what and I was talking about this very phenomenon. And I thought, "I should just delete the app from my device." That night, before going to bed (and without playing at all, if I recall. Not even a farewell game), I did just that without thinking about it*. And you know what? I don't even miss it. Don't even really notice that I'm not playing it.

Which is not to say that I'm now suddenly incredibly productive and focused. It's more like I pulled up one weed and still have an entire row to go. But honestly, I don't miss it at all. Like I say, I often played just out of boredom, rather than pleasure, so it makes it easy to not miss. But it feels nice to have cleaned up the time clutter a bit. Not a bad way to start the year.


*Note to self: when you get ideas like that, act on them right away. If you put them off, you are likely to talk yourself out of it, even when it's really a great idea. Sometimes, you shouldn't overthink things. 

Farewell

Dear 2015,

As you draw to an end, I bid you goodbye. Perhaps not a fond goodbye, but I can say I will miss you, if only because I could use some more time in this lovely life venture. 

There were ups and downs and rough patches and peaceful moments. Lots of change, which I'm still not sure I got right. A new hobby, less of an old one, good books read, lots of podcasts listened to, and many nieces and nephews visited. Some progress on goals (not nearly as much as there should have been). Lonely moments, and breaths of joy. 

Whatever else happened, I got lucky enough to end the year on a great note (so much fun with nieces and nephews!), which will go a long way in filling out the good memories. And while I am saying "so long", I don't think the new year in my life is going to be all that different. (I swear, you years all seem to be the same!) 

Anyway, like it or not, it's time for us to move on. So ciao to you, 2015. It's been something.