Things we learn from Doctor Who

Very important takeaways from Doctor Who:

1. Fangs make everything scarier.
2. Don't be obese (or you will be an excellent target for the Slitheen).
3. Do well in school (and avoid the beast below).
4. Don't live in England, because that is where the aliens always hit first.
5. Don't trust old people.
6. Don't stalk people. It's not nice and it never turns out well.
7. ALWAYS put pants on before going to investigate mysterious whooshing noises in your backyard.
8. Don't put the Doctor in a trap. Bad idea.
9. Beware of cracks in walls.
10. Never insult a fake vampire's mother. Unless of course you have something sturdier than a broom at hand to duel with.
11. If you have to die, you might as well do it looking like a Peruvian folk band.
12. Kids drawing with deep creepy voices is a bad sign.
13. Don't let strangers who are way too serious come in and take over your nice, harmless little obsession group, especially if they want you to hunt down the Doctor. Seriously. If people want you to hunt the Doctor, get away from them.
14. Be flexible. Very very flexible. Because it's never going to go according to plan.
15. Seriously, you should listen to the Doctor.
16. There's always a way out.
17. Everyone wants to get their grubby little hand-like appendages on planet earth.
18. Why not go for a swim while reading?
19. When you see something unusual, you really might want to have a Plan, and maybe a few backup plans, before you rush in and start messing around with it.
20. Bow ties are cool.
21. Stop talking to me when I'm cross.
22. If you recognize a British actor and don't know where you've seen them, just assume it was in a Doctor Who episode.
23. Whimsy is a beautiful thing.

A bit hairy...

A couple of nights ago, my niece came into my room while I was rating movies on Netflix. You wouldn't think that would be so entertaining, but it was quite hilarious. Netflix would present me with a movie and ask me to rate it.* After I rated it, it would ask, "How often do you watch ___________________ movies?" Now, I don't know how on earth they developed their descriptions, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't through controlled vocabularies. Which means, good luck finding anything by searching for the genre type, unless you too think of My Big Fat Greek Wedding as a movie about food. Or Willie Wonka's Chocolate Factory (the original one) as a movie about a tortured genius (the new one, I can see it. But the old one? Come on). Anyway, my very favorite description was of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End.  I know, we were all a bit confused about this movie, but Netflix has cleared it all up for us. This is a Cool Moustache movie. (It all makes sense now, doesn't it?)

Now, I don't know how often you have wanted to watch a cool moustache movie, and just haven't been able to think of one. I mean, it's a niche. And, believe it or not, searching for Cool Moustache Movies in Netflix doesn't bring up very good results (documentary on JFK--who does not have a moustache, documentary on global warming, some cartoon with no moustaches in sight, and a bunch of other very non-promising results. Netflix really needs to improve their search capabilities). So, to make life easier, I am compiling a list for your convenience. Here goes.

1. Mr. Stache. This is the epitome of a Cool Moustache movie, the definitive cool moustache movie, the movie by which all other cool moustache movies will be measured.
2. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. Apparently, because Netflix said so.
3. Napoleon Dynamite. Despite Netflix's estimation of this as a movie about dysfunctional families. (There is so much more dysfuncionality in this movie than just the family).
4. Hercules Poirot. This is no surprise. Have you ever read a Hercules Poirot mystery? Without fail, his moustaches are mocked. (Yes. Plural).
5. The Lorax. Nope, this is not a movie about trees. It's about the stache.
6. Ratatouille. Evil chef.
7. Magnum PI. Okay, I know it's a TV show, but the 80's really did produce some fantastic moustaches. And Tom Selleck really did rock the stache.
8. Secondhand Lions. A nice, subtle but cool stache.
9. Gone with the Wind. Haven't seen it, but don't you just think "moustache" when you think of Clark Gable in that movie?
10. M*A*S*H. Hunnicutt has a pretty fantastic one at the end of the series.
11. Anything with Adolf Hitler. Villain, yes. But the moustache is undeniably notable. The episode Let's Kill Hitler, from Doctor Who Season 6 springs to mind.
12. Hook. How could I have forgotten this one? Hook has a tremendous moustache.
13. The Princess Bride. Inigo! I almost forgot his moustache. And Westley sports a nice one as the Dread Pirate Roberts.
14. Diagnosis Murder. Dick Van Dyke is totally rocking the stache in this TV series.
15. Night at the Museum. Teddy is sporting a nice one (Bully) and I'm sure there are some others.
16. Phineas and Ferb. I know, kids cartoon, but Major Monogram is practically all moustache.
17. Star Wars. Lando Calrissian. And there are probably some very intriguing staches on the ET's.
18. Mulan. Mu Shu sports the American's idea of a classic Chinese moustache.
19. Anything Charlie Chaplin. I mean, isn't his moustache the first thing you envision when you hear his name?
20. Batman Begins. Ducard does have a unique moustache, that Liam Neeson sports rather well.

So, there is a starter list. And, if you are interested in more fun moustacheness, you should try googling moustaches in movies. It is quite entertaining.

*I have to mention here that I hate rating systems. Netflix gives you 5 stars. One means you hated it, 2 you didn't like it, 3 you liked it, 4 you really liked it and 5 you loved it. No halfsies or quarter points. No, "It was okay." No, "meh." How is anyone supposed to give quality feedback with those options? Seriously.