Why I shouldn't be president

It occurs to me that in a few short years,  I will meet all the requirements to become president of the United States of America, based on Article II Section 1 of the US Constitution. I decided that I'd just let you all know right now that I will not be accepting any nominations. I know, I know, this is a huge disappointment for many of you, but let me just tell you all the reasons why I shouldn't be president:

1. As much as I love public speaking, I really don't feel any compulsion to be the center of attention.
2. When I am the center of attention, I sometimes have a tendency to attempt to entertain, and I feel certain that a stand-up comedy speech at the State of the Union may not go down so well.
3. My platform would be common sense, baked goods, and naps. I'm sure it's not in the best interests of the nation.
4. My desire for common sense and goodness might create a conflict.
5. I like sleeping.
6. I don't feel any need to age rapidly. Besides half the time I feel like I'm twelve. I find ambushing people with flying screaming monkeys a great stress reliever. This may not go down so well in the Oval Office. (Or it could really improve the place. Who knows?)
7. I would disappoint a lot of people who like to do studies. I have a hard time spending money on studies like this or this. I mean, not that it isn't fascinating, but really? Was anyone wondering about whether Mondays are really worse or not? And have we all been dreaming of going head on with our pet goldfish in video games?
8. I hear that presidents have a chef. This would be highly damaging to my career as a cake fairy.
9. I really hate overtime. Really.
10.  I'm a decent human and it would ruin me. No one wants that. Especially me. I enjoy the sanity that I possess.

So, there you have it. Ten excellent reasons why you should not elect me president. God bless the USA.