Christmas

I know that it is post Christmas now, but too bad. You get Christmas today, because I'm already starting to miss it. It seems like the last few years there has been something missing with Christmas. I think mostly it's just that I'm oldish and so time flies faster, and life is different than it was, different responsibilities. But every year, I feel like I'm trying to find some way to engage with Christmas somehow and it always eludes me. Maybe it is just that I don't get to wake up in the morning and lay on the couch looking at the lights creating kaleidoscope stained glass pictures on the ceiling on Christmas morning, or maybe because I don't have the same family relationship as I once did. Or groups of people to go and carol with, or deliver Christmas packages to. I don't know. I haven't been alone this Christmas, not in the sense of being the only person in the room, and I actually did have a delightful Christmas. It just seems that there is something I'm trying to capture each year and missing out on. (I'm probably spending too much time trying to figure it out instead of just enjoying it!)

Anyway, I did have fun making goodies with my nieces and nephews, listening to Christmas music (missed out on some of the Christmas movies, but that's okay), picking presents, and such. I loved the lights, and the weather was nice enough to give us some snow for Christmas, which was thoughtful of it. Somehow snow at wintertime is always connected with a cold that makes you feel alive, at least in my mind.

I think what I really want is to have Christmas be about Christ. This shouldn't be as hard as it has been for me, and though I try, it has proven tricksy. So, even though Christmas is over, I'm thinking about next year, and how I can do things to try to remedy the situation. No concrete plans yet, but it is a great excuse to keep Christmas alive. Looks like the annual viewing of A Christmas Carol paid off--if all goes well, I will have the spirit of Christmas with me all year.