Algorithmic Failure

I have complained before about algorithms and how inept they are and I just need to register yet another complaint.

The other day I made fettuccine alfredo. And had a lot of leftovers. And wanted to know the best way to reheat it, because it doesn't reheat super well in the microwave. So I did a google search.

Now, despite having done google searches for YEARS (seriously, it's been over a decade) and NOT looking for information about alfredo on a regular basis, my google news feed has popped up 2 or 3 alfredo related blog posts a day. Because I looked for it once.

What does this tell us, friends? It tells us that algorithms are  not actually very smart. And maybe we shouldn't turn our decision making over to them.

Return of the Cake Fairy

I used to be known as the Cake Fairy, bringer of delicious baked goods to acquaintances in need. Then I moved and something happened* and I kind of lost my cake fairyness. I didn't have the right audience or motivation.

Well, in the last few months, I've started working with my next door neighbors and they've kind of become like little brothers in a way. They are pretty entertaining. A few weeks ago, one of them knocked on my door and handed me a mostly empty box of chocolate covered macadamia nuts and said, "This isn't an act of friendship, it's a bribe. I want more baked goods." And this week they both had birthdays so I made them a cake.

I'm not saying I was ever a fabulous cake maker or pastry chef or anything. But I liked to make stuff for people. It was just an easy way to put a smile on their face.** And it's been kind of nice to find that part of me again. Maybe not so healthy but it has been a nice change.

So welcome back, Cake Fairy.

*possibly multiple things. I didn't know anyone because I was new, I had dozens of coworkers instead of a couple dozen, and probably a few other things. Life happens.
**I think Carnegie missed an important chapter in his book. Food is a fantastic way to win friends and influence people.

Things that should not be things

Crocheted shorts
Activated Charcoal ice cream
Jumpsuits for adult women (apart from uniforms, like in the military)
Romphims
Most of the dresses on the red carpet
Smart Bidets (toilets should not have remote controls)
Smart diapers, which apparently is going to be a thing?
Sleeping pods
Brain hacking

I will

This weekend I got to spend time with my nephew, #24, who is 2 and a half. He, like all my nieces and nephews, is fantastic, and he is at such a fun age!

One of the funnest things is that he always says, "I will...". "I will go play." "I will sit here." "I will clean up." "I will go hit it" (the punching bag, which is totally okay to hit). There is something about it that is adorable. Confidence. Excitement. Optimism. Or maybe it's something about an under 3 being so declarative about his life. "There's a thing to do, and I'm going to do it." Or, it could just be that he's 2 and a half and pretty much almost always adorable.*

I'm sure there's a lesson here. How would this approach change things for me? "I will buy a car." "I will go to bed [meaning, sooner than later]." "I will eat vegetables." Probably can't hurt.

*Even his cry is darling. It's kind of convulsive, like an evil laugh only with sad tears instead.

I saw it in the paper

I love old newspapers. As an archivist, I get to work with a lot of cool documents, but if the whole world was going to be wiped out and I could only pick one collection to save, I would save newspapers--at least for the 20th century. They aren't as glamorous as the Declaration of Independence, Harriet Tubman's Abraham Lincoln autograph, or something signed by the pope in the 1500s, but newspapers tell you a LOT about the world. It's this amazing snapshot of what life was like. You get your world headlines, your local news, sports, entertainment, comics, ads (which tell you what people could buy and how much it cost), births, deaths, marriages, and so much more.

For example, this week I was digging through some February and March 1938 newspapers. For those of you who haven't been reading The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich (so, most of you), March 1938 is the year Hitler took over Austria. I'm going along, and I see Chamberlain and Hitler and Schuschnigg in the headlines. And I know these names! I mean, most people know Chamberlain and Hitler, but who remembers Schuschnigg? So, in the headlines of an 81 year old newspaper, I'm seeing the history I just read. And it's fascinating because the people who first read that paper, the people who wrote those articles? They didn't know what was coming. So you get a real-time perspective in the reporting, you get a feel for what they thought and knew and believed they knew in that moment, without historical hindsight.

Then there was the advice column. How to keep a hubby's attention, problems with in-laws, so many things that honestly aren't that different from what we deal with now. Although the advice has hopefully improved from "make yourself up and cook him a nice meal".

The grocery prices wouldn't seem all that interesting, but back in the day, you could get a dozen donuts for 19 cents. Which seems like a steal, but according to the CPI Inflation Calculator, 19 cents in 1938 is equivalent to $3.45 today. Slightly more than your Smith's dozen donuts on sale, but much less than Krispy Kreme's dozen.

Finally, my favorite news story was that of the Stork Derby, or the "Millar will Baby Derby", as the local newspaper referred to it. Charles Millar decided to prank everyone after he died by creating a fairly zany will: he left his Jamaican house to three people who hated each other; he left some ministers and temperance advocates stock in a brewing company on the condition they keep it in the company. And because he had no descendants of his own, he left a big chunk of his estate to the woman who had the most babies in the ten years after his death. Thus, the baby/stork derby. How is this a thing I didn't know about?

Aren't old newspapers awesome?!