Waiting

If I had to describe myself, patient is not one of the adjectives that would make the top ten. Not that I'm super impatient. I figure I'm pretty average on the patience scale. Some days are better than others, and some situations are easier to be patient with than others. Spur of the moment I'd say it's a lot easier for me to be patient with things that aren't life-critical and short term frustrations. Currently, my tolerance levels have been pushed to the limit, though.

It seems like every aspect of life is on hold. I wait for job openings to come up, then I wait for weeks/months for hiring committees to decide who they want to interview (generally not me, which is just how things roll in a tight economy, so I don't take it personally), then wait to hear back. I'm waiting to know where I will live, waiting to be able to be living on my own again, waiting to get started on the next stage of life. I suppose technically, this is a stage of life, but I'm ready to move on. This whole limbo thing is just boring, old, and tiresome.

Not that I don't try to make the most of it, but I have limited resources at present. I do what I can, though, and I'm sure that I'm growing a lot. That always seems to happen during the most frustrating moments of life. Anyway, I would love to think that I'm going to come out of this and be an absolutely patient person, and the whole patience thing will be over. But life's just not like that.

I've probably passed patience 101, and maybe now I'm enrolled in Patience 415. But, it takes time to master a skill and at some point, I imagine I will end up enrolled in Patience 790 (eesh, right now I really hope not!). But, 790 will be a lot easier because of 415 and 101. What I'm saying is, patience (and many other virtues) is a life long pursuit and I'll probably never be completely perfectly patient. But, if I can just be a bit better after all this at things like faith, endurance, patience, trust--well, then I guess that will be enough.