Misery's company

We always say "misery loves company" as though that is a bad thing. But this week, I realized that, yes, misery loves company, Because when we are miserable, when life is roughing us up, OF COURSE we want company to get through it!!

Now, I get that the usual understanding of "misery loves company" is that miserable people like others to be miserable too. But the actual definition of misery is "a state or feeling of great distress or discomfort of mind or body." I sure don't want to be alone when I feel that way. 

Wanting other people to also be miserable (definition: wretchedly unhappy or uncomfortable) isn't about the misery. It's about being mean and spiteful. So, a mean and spiteful person would want someone else to be miserable if they were. But they'd probably want someone else to be miserable even if they weren't. 

But when it is just misery at play, no. Misery does love company because it makes us feel less alone. It is reassuring. When it is with our loved ones,  it gives us a chance to let down our guard, be weak for a moment and let out the stress and woe and worry. And then we feel better able to move forward, because we're a little stronger because we aren't alone. 

So, yes, misery loves company. And that's okay. 

Hitting it big

This week is one for the books, in terms of, "Yay! So many reasons for me personally to celebrate!"

First, my team at work got our donations queue to under 1000. Which, yes, it is absolutely absurd that one of 5 collecting teams has that many donations in the first place, it's a long history and until time travel is a thing, not much I can do about it, but we are under 1000. (Also important to note, not all of those are actually ready to be processed, so they aren't all my responsibility. Anyway, if you know archives, this will make much more sense, but if not, you probably have a job where numbers are a thing, so you can appreciate the accomplishment all the same).

Then, I finally got my car serviced--oil change and it's 30000 mile checkup. Even better news? No problems to worry about, it's in good shape! Yay! Double Yay!

Finally, on Saturday, I did my last act as a committee member/chair for one of the organizations I'm in. It wasn't a hard committee to run. The hardest part was that there's not a consistent workflow, it kind of peaks at 2 points during the year, and then everything is done by email, and somehow, that was just a struggle for my poor brain at this point in life (post-pandemic, overwhelmed with a new role at work, etc.). But, we got through it. Although I should maybe leave some pointers for the next chair. I do love the way the committee works. You are on it for 2 years, then you are the chair. I think it's a good model. 

Also, I had a lot of success at getting out of bed and at work at the desired time. It has been a struggle, I admit, these last few months, but this week, I was just doing really great! And that was super exciting. 

So, a week of feeling fairly accomplished. I think I celebrated by doing absolutely nothing on Saturday (hey, my car was in the shop, it felt like a good reason to chill at home and unwind). And I had frozen custard, because, yes. Celebrate.

Anyway, rah rah, go me, probably won't be this accomplished for a while so I'm enjoying it while it lasts. 

Have nots

 I've been thinking lately about all the things that have not happened in my life. For example, I haven't:

• lived in a war-torn country where things are constantly being bombed
• experienced severe famine where I didn't have food to eat
• gone hungry for lack of food
• had my possessions destroyed in fire, flood, or other natural disasters
• been homeless
• lived somewhere where I was afraid of what the government might do
• been imprisoned, justly or unjustly
• been through a divorce 
• lost a child or spouse or parent
• been assaulted

And those are just some of my have-nots. Not to say I haven't had some hard haves, but all in all, I feel like my life is pretty fortunate. 

And now I'm going to go knock on wood. 

Very much a first world problem

Why does civilization involve so much paperwork and upkeep and maintenance?

I was thinking about this because so much of my life seems to go to organizing piles of paper, weeding through stuff, and cleaning. 

I think the cleaning part probably transcends civilization. Maybe just a difference in scale. But there are so many piles of paper in my life. And so much stuff! Endless things. And as soon as you clear some out, more come creeping into your life. 

It seems to me that we "civilized" people might be doing something wrong. We invent stuff, which makes us civilized (or so it seems), and then we spend all of our time dealing with the stuff. And the paperwork generated by civilization--endless receipts and legal documents and insurance papers, and on and on.

I'm not saying that the lack of civilization is preferable. I love indoor plumbing, modern medicine, and not living in a cave or what have you. There are definitely some perks to human progress. But, I think maybe we mistook progress for the end? Instead of a means? I mean, it's easy to do. Things and stuff are so attractive. 

Or maybe I'm the only one with this problem and I personally need to be wiser with my resources. Not going to lie, that is highly likely. But some days, it feels like my first-world country is really not interested in helping me out with that. 

Yep, definitely a first world problem. I'll go be grateful now. 

The minisculest silver lining

I am not at all saying that this makes our current pandemic worth it at all, but I do want to say that there is a teeny, tiny silver lining for me. As a result of the pandemic and the subsequent coin shortage*, my apartment complex's laundromat has finally moved to an electronic payment system! [Insert jumping up and down for joy, cheering, and applause.] 

No more having to count corners! No more stopping by the bank on my lunch break for laundry money! And for the current moment, no having to figure out how to get quarters from the bank. YAY!!!

So, I know it doesn't even come close to making up for all the misery of this stupid pandemic. It's a drop in the ocean. But it's a definite improvement. 

*How is that a thing? No one has yet been able to explain it satisfactorily. 

The greatest of these is charity

Last night, my community was given a curfew as a result of protests that took place in response to the death of George Floyd. I've had many, many thoughts, naturally. But in the last little bit, I've been thinking about an experience with a nephew of mine.

At the time he was probably around 4. His family and I had been out doing something that day, I don't remember what, and when we got back to the house, there was the usual transition chaos: getting the kids out of the car, getting everything inside, and now we need to move on to dinner or whatever was next on the schedule. 

My little nephew was upset about something, and was crying, and if you've ever been in that situation (lots of kids, lots to do, frazzle everywhere), you know how easy it is to say, "I'm not going to help you until you calm down." And sometimes, that's the right thing to do as we try to teach children how to manage stressful or upsetting situations. But sometimes, it's not the right answer, and that day, it wasn't.

Somehow, that day I managed to get it right. I knelt down and with nothing but pure love for that sad little bow, I asked what was wrong. I don't remember what it was--something with his shoes I think. He couldn't get them off, or he was having a hard time putting them away, I don't know. Maybe something with the laces? It doesn't matter. What he needed was help, to do something he couldn't on his own. He needed someone to listen, to acknowledge that what he was feeling was real, and hard for him, and he needed someone to be on his side and help him fix the problem. And through no genius or skill of my own, I got it right. And I have thanked the powers that be every time I think of that moment that on that day, I got it right and loved a crying little boy instead of all the other things I could have done. 

I don't get it right enough. Not nearly enough. I want to be the person who gets it right more often. I want us to be a society that gets it right more often. It's easy to look at these--or any protesters--and say, "Well, look at your behavior. Look at what you're doing wrong." It's easy to say, "Well, destruction and violence is not the answer, and so I'm not going to listen to you until you calm down." 

But I just keep thinking of that little boy. These people--our people--they are hurting. They have been hurting. And it is to the point that they can't bear it anymore. They can't keep that hurt in. And what they desperately need is us kneeling down and saying, "Cry on my shoulder. Tell me how I can help. I am here with you. I will share your pain and be with you until we fix it." They need us to love them and be with them and to get it right. They don't need a lecture, or anyone saying, "Well, here's what you did wrong." They need us to love them. And if we love them, we will absolutely do what it takes to fix the problem. We will take them by the hand, and stand with them. And when we have their hand in ours, with real love, there won't be empty hands left to throw things and destroy things. 

My heart breaks for all the broken hearts out there in this moment, for whatever reason. I want to get it right. And I hope you will tell me what I can do to help you and what I can do to make things right. 

Not Bad

I think if a four year old thinks you are a nice aunt and wants you to stay at his house forever, you are doing alright in life.

Weighing in on 2016

There's been a lot of talk about how awful and miserable and horrendous 2016 has been--bad political situations all over the world, humanitarian crises, violence and war, and apparently a lot of celebrity deaths (which are sad for their families, but hasn't really impacted the quality of my year much).

Out of curiosity, I tried googling good things about 2016. And there were good things: Mars stuff, new tech stuff, advances in healthcare. And it was a good year for tigers and pandas, which are coming back from being endangered. But somehow, the good stuff doesn't quite seem to compensate for all the bad stuff the world has seen.

Yesterday, though, I read this article. And the thing that stood out to me is that most of these 'good news stories' were about individuals. It seems there is something significant in that.

The obvious observation is that governments and nations are associated with bad news. But, be fair. Part of the role of governments is to deal with big problems. It's what they are for. So, they are going to deal with a lot of bad news stuff. Also, governments and countries are big. There are a lot of people in them, some of whom want to do good for others and some of whom want to do good for themselves. Which causes problems, which makes the news.

And you can't blame the press. We rely on them to inform us of what is going on in the world that will impact us. And as touching as the rescue of a dog is, it doesn't effect me quite the same way a national election does. Also, there are 7 billion people but only approximately 200 countries. So, to cover every person and the good they do is far more difficult than to cover nations or states or companies, etc.

So I'm not saying government is horrible or the media stinks at their job. Because that's not the point. I think what strikes me most about the fact that good news seems to be about individuals is that it means that we can all make the world a better place, and we don't even have to become a politician to do it! When the world seems horrible, we can look at our families and neighbors and friends and the people around us and see that people are still good. When you think all is lost, just watch the people around you, and I bet you'll feel better about the universe, whether it is the people waiting for the bus or the White Helmets. Because, even though there are bad people out there, there are so many more good ones, who live their lives on a small stage that will never make the national news. And as long as we have people like that, we'll be okay.

So, to all the good people everywhere, thank you. Keep up the good work.

All the green green grass

One of the not so great things about apartment living is doing laundry. For some reason, traipsing through buildings or across complexes hauling a bag of laundry, running back and forth to see if it is done only to find you have 4 minutes left, which is not enough time to go back but still an incredibly boring length of time to wait--really not a great time in my book. One of my great aspirations in life is to have a washer and dryer in my dwelling place. (This is the whole reason I went to grad school. Well, at least one of them). 

But, tonight when I got ready to do laundry, I did get a little excited because I could go barefoot. And the grass in my complex is very nice for walking on barefoot. So it was just a little exciting every time I left to take care of my laundry. And I will miss it come winter. 

Post-Presentation report

Since I have mentioned it a couple of times (here and here, not that you should go back and read about it) and since someone left a comment wishing me luck (thank you for that!) I thought I'd report on how the big presentation went.

Some things I learned:

1. Never volunteer to present at a conference you haven't attended.

2. It's a terrible thing to make people who are presenting and are already nervous drive miles and miles up a winding mountain road with no guard rails or anything on the side that goes off down the mountain.

3. Historians and archivists are REALLY different. I probably should have known this, and theoretically, I did, but wow. They really are different.

4. I never want to be an academic. Although, I already knew this. Academic conferences are not like professional conferences. 

But, the presentation did go well. I got there and saw the room, which was not an auditorium or stage*, and there were people in the audience who were as old as my grandma and how can you be scared of your grandma? So that calmed me down a lot. I managed to keep the 'um's to a minimum, which was good, because when practicing I kept stumbling over my words. And the chairman at the end of the session made me sound really really smart. (Modernism didn't cross my mind once, because, yeah, not a historian or academic). My co-presenters were super great to be in a group with and it was nice to make some connections that way. 

The best part, though, is that I'm done. No more looming deadlines, no more panicking about whether I'm up to snuff. It is over. And, once I was done, I took the opportunity to take some pictures of mountains. I never tire of mountains. It was a great way to celebrate my mental freedom ("No more presentation to stress about! Hooray!") Enjoy my celebration!

*There is a reason why I was envisioning an auditorium, and it is not because of my ego. It is because I attended a similar conference earlier in the year and it did have an auditorium. The brain fills in the unknown with what it can, and in this case it was something much scarier than the reality.

Bucket List suggestions

If you are looking for things to add to your bucket list, experiences that one should be sure to have before they die, here's one for you: Take a little kid to a Lego Store.

I was lucky enough to go to the Lego Store with my sister-in-law and my nephews, #s 12, 18, and 22. Twenty-two is only interested in Legos inasmuch as they serve as teething toys, but the other two, age 3 and 6, are very into them. When we pulled up in the parking lot to the mall, the 6-year old already had a grin that I think is best described as "ear to ear". And it managed to get bigger when he saw the sign for the Lego store. By this point the excitement had spread to his entire body. He had a grin in his walk! The look on his face when we walked in the store was priceless. There is a kind of joy that is an actual force beyond the person who is happy. This was that kind of joy. So powerful that if enough of it was unleashed upon the world, I think it could achieve world peace.

The 3-year old was also in awe, although his was more verbal. While his brother was into the Lego sets, I think he just had fun being able to play with the toys. He helped me fill up a cup-of-Legos (or whatever they are called) and delighted in providing me with a wide selection of colors. He was less concerned about the actual type of brick.

It was a delightful experience, one that sets a new standard for what it means to be happy. And if you haven't experienced it, you are totally missing out.

The best part of tomorrow

Because we are doing a special project tomorrow, there will be donuts in the morning. And lunch, so I don't have to pack one. And I will get out from my cubicle. And I will get some good experience with copyright. 

But mostly, I'm just into the donuts.

Winning the family lotto

So, you don't really get to choose your family (outside of who you marry), but when it comes to the family-luck-of-the-draw, I think I won the lotto. I have a big family: 8 kids in my family, and more aunts and uncles and cousins than I can count on my fingers and toes. I was always a shy little squirt, so I was a bit intimidated by my aunts and uncles as a kid (generally speaking) and never really got to know them.

Which is a shame, but has provided me the wonderful opportunity to get to know them now. I don't see them much, just because I'm not in the same geographic area and because we are growing up and spreading out, but whenever I see them or talk to them or hear from them, I am just so amazed at how great my family is. From time to time, I call upon them for a favor, and I still feel a bit shy, but they always just cheerfully help out. And when I get done asking for the favor, I find I've also really enjoyed talking to them about stuff. My relatives are just great people who make you feel worthwhile (good grief, they remember my name out of the 50+ other nieces/nephews/cousins they have! That's remarkable in and of itself!) and just cheer me up.

So, whatever other lottos I lost I think I definitely won this one. Which is one of the most important ones anyway.

Odds and Ends

For some reason, iTunes randomly decided to delete the bulk of my music from my computer. And, silly me, instead of telling my ipod to restore it all (because why would I do that? The music wasn't deleted by me, so I wouldn't know it needed restored), I said no and now have to manually input it all. Sometimes, I curse Apple (because if I curse my computer, I run the fearful chance that my computer has issues I can't afford to fix. Whereas, cursing Apple means it's their fault, not mine, and I don't have to worry about it). I guess at least it kindly left all of my playlists intact.

I am ridiculously addicted to the library's 'treasure hunts' for the summer reading program. You basically go in, find clues in the catalog, and it's this nice little game. And I feel that at least I can pretend to be enhancing my library skills.

Which reminds me of the fun I've had at work doing mini-research projects. It may be totally nerdy, but I LOVE it when I stumble across the piece of information I'm looking for. And believe me, finding things in an archive is a different ballgame from Google. But ever so satisfying.

I went to a concert this week with my sister's family. In case you are wondering, 4-year olds don't dig Hadyn's Creation. But they do dig cool fountains, elevators, stairs, statues, and sticks. And bell buildings. And sometimes, the same is true for not-four-year-olds. Someone definitely needs to study the process of energy transfer between adult and child, because I swear, kids are sapping my energy. How else could one 4 year old (in truth, he's still 3, but one week and all of the maturity of a 4-year old, I say we round up) have SO MUCH ENERGY?!?!?! I envied him. Although, I was pretty amazed I was able to keep up, seeing as I have been bone-tired for a week and a half. Perhaps they give back a little of their absorbed energy...

In high school, it was ingrained in me that you always have an introduction and a conclusion. And I find it is still a huge challenge not to end with a satisfactory conclusion, which is unfortunate, because today I just don't have one. Other than, that's pretty much all I've got.

Here this post ends.

Another Round of the Ordinaries

To the guy sitting on Liberty holding up a sign saying "Smile--It isn't raining!" I don't know if he had a home to go to, but he certainly wasn't wearing any power suits, for what that's worth. (Not much). That particular street tends to have a lot of people who are struggling to make ends meet, though, so he could be in that category or not. Either way, it's pretty awesome that he was going out of his way to cheer up the world. One person at a time (the most effective way).

To the bus driver on Monday. I got on the bus, and he was taking a small break (come on, can you imagine driving around town all day long without a break?), but usually on the bus, I close my eyes like I'm sleeping (usually I'm trying to). He noticed and asked if I was okay, and I just said I was tired. He asked what my stop was, so that I could sleep and he could make sure I didn't miss it. And he went out of his way for other people too. He was my Monday hero.

To the lady in the K-Mart parking lot today, who saw me and saw that I was looking down, and said, "It can't be that bad!" Which made me smile, and then she asked if I was okay. I'd never seen her before in my life, but she showed such compassion. And, because of that, I smiled at everyone I passed on my way home. That is changing the world.

To all the people I work with. Seriously, I have always been fortunate to work with good people, but usually there is someone that I have a hard time with. But these people--really, they are some of the best and most supportive people I have had the pleasure to work with. There isn't one of them that I don't like. And they have a knack for encouraging me in just the way I need to be encouraged at just the right moment. Telling me to trust the master plan when I'm doubting there is one, or supporting me when I make decisions that may not be logical but are right. They take a chance on me and teach me new things, and trust me with important things. And they really care about me. And I appreciate that.

So there are the ordinaries for the day. Now, go out and do something ordinary!

On Faith

As a general rule, I try to write posts that anyone can enjoy, and about life in general. As a result, I haven't ever written much about religion. But today being Easter Sunday, I am going to break that trend. And, to give some context, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You might have heard of us--we are sometimes called Mormons.

This past year has been what could very well be the worst year of my life to date. It is hard to say, really, because it has been awful in different ways than other hard times, so it's the whole apples and oranges thing. But also, trying to figure out is a quick way to have a pity party, and I just don't have the energy for that. Suffice to say, it has been hard. And, while I wish I could say the worst is over and it shows signs of improving, it doesn't. It's been hard, and it is going to be hard for the foreseeable future. 

(Which is really gloomy and doomy. I hope that I have managed to convey some joy in the past year, because there have been moments of joy, reminders to hang on. There have been blessings and a lot of the little day-to-day things are pretty good.)

Anyway, when life is hard, I want to have someone to turn to. And more and more, I have come to appreciate the Savior. I have friends and family who love me, and who try their best to help, but more and more I find that I just can't explain to them all the things that trouble me. Words fail. And, because we are only human, I find that they are so often trying to comfort and counsel me from their viewpoint. It is what we as people do. We aren't omniscient, and we do the best we can, but so often it falls short. 

But what I have come to know is that there is one Person who will never fail to understand every detail of what I am going through. More and more, I am coming to realize that the Savior knows my burdens not because He had a similar experience, but because He had my experience. He carried the weight of it. He knows why I have shed every tear that I have shed. He knows the weight and strength and depth of every fear, every heartache, every desire. He knows every inch of what I am going through. I don't have to find the right words to explain because He knows. And as I have come to know that, I have started to rely on Him and trust Him more and more. He is the best friend I have, and I want with all my heart to be counted by Him as a friend. I think I fail at that more often than not, but I would do anything to be His friend. 

One last thing. It doesn't really tie in with the rest, but I want to share it anyway. Christ knows everything I am going through because of the Atonement. I don't know that I have the greatest understanding of the Atonement, but I know that often when we speak of it, we connect it with pain and suffering on the part of the Savior. And we often think of the suffering the Savior went through for us, all the pain that He experienced on our behalf. And we know He did it because He loves us. There is one scripture in all the scripture which I hold dear that I love more than any other, and I love it because to me, it testifies of the Savior's love more than anything else:

"10 ¶Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in his hand.

11 He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied: by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many; for he shall bear their iniquities." -Isaiah 53:10-11

We so often think of the Atonement in terms of what it means for us and to us. I love these verses because they show me how the Savior feels about the Atonement. When I come to Him seeking His help, His forgiveness, and His grace, He looks on the suffering in Gethsemane and on the cross and is satisfied. Because saving me was worth it. And when I read this, I remember how much He loves me, and I want to make his suffering worth it. I want to be as righteous as I can be. 

I know the Savior loves us. He loves me, and more than anything else, I want to be counted as His friend. I want Him to look at me, to see the travail of His soul for me, and be satisfied. I love the Savior, and I am so humbly grateful for all that He did and all that He is, and one day, I hope to be able to tell Him so in person. 

Resumés

I have been looking for a job, which means writing a resumé and lots of cover letters, and all the things you do when applying for jobs. Which means I've given a lot of thought to my professional accomplishments, because I'm trying to highlight them and show that I do have them (which can be tricky when you are looking for your first post-graduate job, if you know what I mean).

Looking for a job gives you a lot of time to think (and honestly, sometimes that's all there is for you to do. Job searching involves a lot of waiting). It is very easy to feel like you aren't really doing much in life when you don't have a job. But I have had many moments--many, many moments--over the last few months to realize that there is a different kind of resumé in life, and one that matters more than what I've achieved professionally.

When I think of the most important things I have done in my life, the things that mean the most, and have the most impact, and do the most to make the world better than it was, none of them are anything to do with archiving papers, or getting an order out on time, or stocking the shelves, or even helping a student understand what a word means. The most important things I have done in my life are things that would never go on a resumé for a job, or even be asked about in an interview. But they matter so much more.

They are things like taking a walk with my nephew, and playing with him, and teaching him things. Because all of that, hopefully, sends him the message that he is loved, that he is valued, and that he has worth. It is baking a cake for a friend who is feeling down, and just needs to know that she's not alone. It is laughing with my nieces at the ridiculous things that stars wear on the red carpet, or reading stories to my other niece, or telling my nephew what a great kid he is. The most important things I have done in my life have been telling people I know there is a God, and that He loves us, and in loving them myself.

I feel really good when I complete a project at work, because I know I've worked hard and done good work. And it feels good to finish things. And it is satisfying and rewarding, and it has value for me as a person. But the experiences that matter the most, that are critical, the accomplishments that I know really count, are the ones that I have by interacting with and loving and helping people. I sometimes feel like I shouldn't be spending time playing with my nephew, I should be working on job applications and finding new leads. But when I take the time for people, I am always blessed to KNOW that that was the choice that mattered most on my life resumé. It is those decisions that bring me the most joy, and those are the things that will be on my application to heaven, if you will.

I may never be rich. I will probably never be a famous anything (which is okay. I hate the limelight). No one is ever going to name me to the Archivist Hall of Fame. I hope to publish some of the stories I've written, but I doubt I will ever be famous for them. I'm no Tolkien or Rowling or Dickens. And I don't really want to be. But I do hope that I do some good for someone once in a while, and make the world a little better for having been here.

Check, please...

I must confess, new years can be a bit anticlimactic. Don't get me wrong, I am all about celebrating, and the start of a new year is a great time. And maybe I'm feeling a bit Scrooge-ish today (I haven't been feeling well lately) but this year especially I feel like New Year's is so arbitrary. I mean, it's not even universally agreed upon!*

But even at an individual level, years are pretty arbitrary. It seems like we often measure life by events. I reflect on my life and I don't usually sit and remember 1995. I remember starting high school, or getting my license, or graduating, or moving, or starting a new job. And then I say, "And that would have been in XXXX." I've been holding my breath, waiting and trying to change my current life situation, and as 2013 has approached, I've thought, "I can't wait for 2012 to be over." But the end of 2012 doesn't mean the end of the rough patch I've been going through, and it's been hard to get motivated for more of the same. 

But there is a bright side. I'm not such a grump that I'm not going to celebrate with everyone else, so I get at least one celebration out of it. And when things do change (I'm going to keep telling myself they will. Otherwise, I might start hyperventilating), I can have another celebration and another chance to have a fresh start, huzzah! And I think that is kind of the point of New Years. Maybe we all need to have some day, no matter how arbitrary, where we can say, "Well, all of the bumps and bruises and beatings of life are getting tossed out today. I'm going to let them go, take a deep breath of fresh new year air, regroup, and keep on keeping on." I think we need a day set aside for regrouping and starting again, even if life is more of the same. So, as you start out on the next leg of life, I just want to say, I hope that your year and mine turn out to be wonderful and full of joy and miracles and happiness.

*I think we need to capitalize on this more. I mean, how many different new years celebrations are there? And each one could be taken as an opportunity to evaluate our progress and recommit to making the changes we want to. We could even add mid-years celebrations and stuff! Not that it has to be a government holiday or anything, but wouldn't it be nice to pause mid-year and reflect? Why wait for 365 days to pass?

Little Things

I feel like this has been a doozy of a week, one of those weeks that has maybe got some of us thinking that the whole Mayan-Calendar-End-of-the-World thing isn't sounding as bad an option as it might. Sometimes the world just seems like such a bad, messed up place. But, this week, I had a chance to travel, and travel is always interesting because you are interacting with a bunch of new and different people and somehow, that changes things up a bit. Anyway, I just have been thinking this week of all the little things that I saw in conjunction with my traveling that made such a big impression, and in some cases, a big difference for me.

I always feel a bit like a country bumpkin when I travel, and much as I wish I could pull of sophisticated world traveler, it isn't in my repertoire yet. But every time I had a question, or needed help, people responded. And they responded in a way that said, "It's okay to not know that. You aren't weird or anything. I have questions like that all the time." A way that said, you are fine. That means a lot--we all need that reassurance sometimes. So the waitress who helped me figure out how to separate the bill, or the gal at the car rental place who found a way to connect, or the people I met with who helped me feel welcome, instead of intimidated all really made a daunting experience doable, and doable with enjoyment.

I also saw a lot of people doing little things around me. There was the TSA officer who, instead of criticizing a passenger for not having everything ready apologized for making him go through the whole routine. ID--not current, do you have current?--Oh, can you take it out of the plastic cover?--Sorry, I know it's a pain but it's the policy, good luck with everything. She didn't have to do that. A lot of people would have been impatient. And the thing is, I was a bit impatient with this guy, not knowing what was going on or anything, but as I listened, and saw her attitude, it changed my attitude. Clearly, there had been some kind of problem, and he had had to scramble to get it resolved, and at the end of the exchange, I just felt like I had been made better.

Or the guy who had to call his neighbor while shuttling from the car rental area to the airport. His neighbor's sheep had gotten through to his property, and his kids were trying to round them up. He didn't scream or yell. He didn't even raise his voice or sound stern. He just said, "I wanted you to know, and I know you are probably in the middle of something, and my kids are working on it. But I knew you'd want to know, and just when you get a chance. You know how sheep are!" And the neighbor heard they had a hunting permit and invited them to hunt on his land if they'd like. And at the end of the exchange, the guy's wife said (of the neighbor), "He's such a great guy." Again, I felt like my life had been made better for that one, brief experience. I know it was probably rude of me to listen, and if they are reading this, well, I know I should apologize, but mostly I want to say thank you. Thank you for just being good, because it's who you are. It was encouraging to know that there are a lot of good, decent, kind people out there, and that you don't have to look far to find them. So thank you for that.

And there were loads of other little things. People going beyond what their job required, or what society expects of them, and being good, and decent, and kind. Little tiny things, that maybe no one will notice. No one ever got recognition in the paper for being cheerful while doing their job. But I think it is these little things, more than the big things like fund raising concerts and Facebook donations, that give me hope. Because these little things show who people really are, day in and day out, not just when tragedy strikes, and knowing that there are those kind of people out there is what gives us hope to get through the tragedies.

So here's to all the little things that ordinary people do every day. That is what will change the world.

Life with a three-year old

I think I've mentioned before that I am currently in limbo (let it be noted that I am against limbo). Well, this has put me in residence with a very charming three-year old, and while there are four other charming kids in residence, they all go to school and so aren't home for most of the day and tend to not rely on me quite as much. So, to the other kids: I love you too, and I hope you forgive me for focusing on the little kid.

My day, as many of yours, includes breakfast at some point. Unlike yours, hopefully, my breakfast is almost always hijacked by Mr. 3. This kid is a masterful mooch, and his skill  has been improving of late. It started when he was one, and he's been honing ever since, to the point that he doesn't even do subtle anymore. One day, I turned and six inches from my face was a gaping three-year old mouth, just waiting for me to insert a spoonful of cereal. Hilariously adorable, and how do you say no to that? The real gem was when I was eating Lucky Charms, a particular favorite of his. After about two bites, he had commandeered the spoon and was graciously sharing my breakfast with me, generally when there weren't as many marshmallows in the mix. He's so thoughtful. 

My little buddy is also very big on helping me get ready for the day. On occasion, he has even chosen my outfits (with a little bit of carefully wielded influence). He gets my watch and my ring for me, and is always eager to help me with my belt (not sure why). He knows my get ready routine as well as I do. 

This kid loves stories, and he'll take them in any form. I know he knows how to count, but if you tell him, "Just one story" his mathematical skills are going to become non-existent and ten stories later (generally repeated readings of a few stories) you might finally convince him to do something else, provided you have a cool enough distraction. But he also likes to be told stories, and I have made up more stories on the spot than I can count over the last few months (some of which might actually have potential for written stories. Maybe). My favorite part is, when I finish telling him a made up story he says to me, "Will you read it again?"  

It amazes me how fast he is growing. More and more he wants to do things by himself. He can button his pajama shirt, and pour the cereal (this is a new in for mooching), he's figuring out the mouse on my laptop (this is dangerous), and a host of other things. Everyday, it's something new. Try asking him if he's a big boy, though, and this is the answer you'll get. "No, I'm just a little boy." "When will you be a big boy?" "Um, two o'clock, I think." He will then analyze your watch, watching the second hand go around, and declare it two o'clock at some point.

I don't know about other three-year olds, but this one is a phenomenal hugger. Something about his size is just perfect for hugging. I told him yesterday that hugging was his super power, and he went around the rest of the day giving everyone giant hugs. We call him Superhugger, and I tell you, it is a real super power. Flying and X-ray vision and all that may be great, but I don't know if they can compete with hugging. That is a power that can change the world.

So, there you have it. Life with a three-year old. Personally, I think everyone should have one. It would definitely make the world a better place.