An ordinary

Today's ordinary award goes to the guy who saw that my grocery bag was tearing and kept tabs on me until I got to the other side of the store to get a new bag and helped me double bag the groceries. And the clerk who helped double bag the other bag at the same time. And both of them who wished me a good night and the first guy who, as he was loading stuff onto his delivery truck as I walked out wished me a good Thanksgiving.

More ordinaries

The neighbor who let me know my package had been delivered to her building's mailroom. 

All the people who made sure that the parties in the wreck I saw on Friday were okay, and took pictures, and my friend who called 911. 

My neighbor who invited me over for enchiladas. 

My coworkers. They make work better.

My friends, who are the best! (And maybe a bit extraordinary). 

The Walmart guy who always looks cheerful.

The custodial guy who is always happy at work and inspires me. 

Harry Potter would be a very different series if I was the main character

 A few weeks ago, I read a book where adult characters were doing magical mischief and causing problems, and the 12-year old heroine, despite being encouraged to leave it to the adults, didn't have any confidence in the adults and of course solved all the problems on her own.

A few days later, I watched a few episodes of the show Holly Hobby, because Holly Hobby was totally a thing from my childhood. We had a Holly Hobby record player--that's how classic I am.* So, yeah, let's watch the TV show! 

For the record, the TV show is not the Holly Hobby of my youth. Which is fine--they've modernized Strawberry Shortcake, My Little Pony, Legos, and dozens of other things, and kept them alive for the younger generation so we can share that connection. And it's a great family show. But here's my thing. Why on earth is a 13-year old in charge of the town's open mic night, including catering, scheduling performers, etc.? Basically, this 13-year old is running the town, because the adults are incompetent, I guess? 

I'm not sure if this is just a "let's empower young girls" thing--which if it is, it's a fail for me. I can't relate to that at all, and I'm too tired to even want to be the 13-year old running the town. 

Maybe it's just a storytelling device, though. I mean, take Harry Potter. If the hero in that book was based on me, as soon as I found out that there was a troll in the building and a girl was in the bathroom where the troll was likely to be, I would have told a teacher and gotten out of there. That is the whole point of adults--they have to deal with the hard problems. A prisoner who broke out of wizard jail and is lurking around the school? I definitely wouldn't be searching him out.** Which would make for a very boring (and probably much shorter) series. Who would want to read the series about the girl who lived a normal life and didn't save the world because she was just a kid?

Well, me, maybe. It would be nice to see myself represented in literature. Thank goodness for Beverly Cleary's Ramona series, Lois Lowry's Anastasia Krupnik, and all the other ordinary characters out there!***

*I think it was actually my sister's record player. But, it's been a few decades, so now it can be claimed by "we". 

**Basically, I am one of the hundreds of other students who don't even get a name in the Harry Potter series because they are doing what normal kids do, which is leaving adult problems to the adults. Which is why Harry is the chosen one, and not me. 

***I would still love to see a book where there is magical mischief and mayhem and the main character is just like, "Not my problem. I'm a kid." And they keep coming to the main character, and they just keep saying, "For reals? What don't you get about this? I'm twelve! Seriously! What can I do that you can't?" It could be hilarious.

Doing it right

Tonight I went to a party with some friends who are wonderful people. But they are also incredibly successful in a way I never will be (archivists don't rake in the money. It's just not a thing). Of course, they are also done with their careers, so they're in a completely different stage of life and it isn't remotely fair to compare myself with them. It's apples and peanut butter. Not the same thing (although tasty together). Even so, it's hard to not feel overwhelmed and inadequate.

But then I came home and saw this:

Which could only be the product of the elders I work with. And you know what? I may never have a house in Cozumel, but I'd take this over spare houses any day. I think I'm doing something right.

Ho Hum

Things are very dull of late. Just not much that is note worthy. But, it occurs to me I do have some fun pictures from Easter weekend, which is at least something. Enjoy!

Lots of fun bright colored eggs. 

And the hands that died them.

This one's for the birds.

Are you going to stand for that?

***Warning: the following post contains ranting and getting on soapboxes.***

So, among the big news in the last couple of weeks has been Facebook, Google, and Twitter testifying before Congress about the Russia hacking fiasco. I haven't read a ton about it, but I've skimmed here and there. Just for the record, yes, I think the Russia hacking thing is a problem, and yes, I think that it's high time Congress realize the influence of big tech companies have. However, am I the only one who is also highly offended by their attitude towards everyone else in America?

I consider myself to be a fairly intelligent person. Not a genius by any means, but I can typically reason my way through an argument. So I can't help but be more than a little offended at the attitude of these Big 3 and Congress, who seem to assume all Americans are too dumb to question what they see on social media.

That isn't to say that we all did question what we saw on social media. From what I hear, a lot of Americans, particularly voting ones, didn't actually take time to think through the arguments. But, let's be honest. That's on us. Not on Facebook, or Twitter, or Google. And I'm not a huge fan of a lot of their work, so it pains me a little to say that. And the journalists do exactly the same thing. They talk about us like we are so intellectually barren that if they weren't there to tell us what to think and believe, we wouldn't even know how to put our pants on. And I get that we have to get information from somewhere, and these are the places we get it. But we are responsible for weighing that information.

Could our information providers have done better? Yes. But ultimately, who is responsible for handing over their thinking to algorithms and social media platforms and the press? That one's on us. And since no one else is going to hold us accountable, maybe we should hold ourselves accountable. Let's expect better of ourselves. We deserve it.

Soapbox out.

Weighing in on 2016

There's been a lot of talk about how awful and miserable and horrendous 2016 has been--bad political situations all over the world, humanitarian crises, violence and war, and apparently a lot of celebrity deaths (which are sad for their families, but hasn't really impacted the quality of my year much).

Out of curiosity, I tried googling good things about 2016. And there were good things: Mars stuff, new tech stuff, advances in healthcare. And it was a good year for tigers and pandas, which are coming back from being endangered. But somehow, the good stuff doesn't quite seem to compensate for all the bad stuff the world has seen.

Yesterday, though, I read this article. And the thing that stood out to me is that most of these 'good news stories' were about individuals. It seems there is something significant in that.

The obvious observation is that governments and nations are associated with bad news. But, be fair. Part of the role of governments is to deal with big problems. It's what they are for. So, they are going to deal with a lot of bad news stuff. Also, governments and countries are big. There are a lot of people in them, some of whom want to do good for others and some of whom want to do good for themselves. Which causes problems, which makes the news.

And you can't blame the press. We rely on them to inform us of what is going on in the world that will impact us. And as touching as the rescue of a dog is, it doesn't effect me quite the same way a national election does. Also, there are 7 billion people but only approximately 200 countries. So, to cover every person and the good they do is far more difficult than to cover nations or states or companies, etc.

So I'm not saying government is horrible or the media stinks at their job. Because that's not the point. I think what strikes me most about the fact that good news seems to be about individuals is that it means that we can all make the world a better place, and we don't even have to become a politician to do it! When the world seems horrible, we can look at our families and neighbors and friends and the people around us and see that people are still good. When you think all is lost, just watch the people around you, and I bet you'll feel better about the universe, whether it is the people waiting for the bus or the White Helmets. Because, even though there are bad people out there, there are so many more good ones, who live their lives on a small stage that will never make the national news. And as long as we have people like that, we'll be okay.

So, to all the good people everywhere, thank you. Keep up the good work.

DOING something

I read a lot of news stories and listen to a lot of podcasts that talk about people in need: refugees from the Middle East, people in Venezuela, those in poverty in America, the hurricane victims in Haiti, and on and on. (There are a lot of people in this world that could use some help). And while I appreciate being informed, I always walk away thinking, "But what can I DO? How can I help?"* I do contribute financially to humanitarian efforts but keep wondering if there is more I can do.

And tonight, I did something. I went through my closet and I took out all the clothes I don't wear. Even the things that were sentimental. I just said, "I'm not wearing it and someone else could, so sentimentality can go hang!" Now, I will donate those and someone will benefit. My next project is to cull my books. Refugees could use some books, right? Or maybe someone could sell them and use the profits for a good cause?

I know it isn't much. I'm not leaving hearth and home to go volunteer in the refugee camps or anything but I think that is probably okay. I had been feeling like I should be giving more of myself, and not just money, but as I looked for opportunities, I realized that there is a need for money and supply donations and if that's the need, then it's okay to help that way. And right now, that might be all I can give. But however small or insignificant, I'm doing something. Hooray!


* If you are a reporter or podcaster, here's a tip: you've worked hard to tell people a story and get them to care. And it's working! People care! So, you should also give them some info on how they can help. Volunteer? Donate? Contact a congressperson? Definitely milk us for all we're worth!

Graduation Speeches

'Tis that wonderful time of year when young people of all ages are leaving behind one phase of scholastic achievement and moving onto another phase of, well, something. More school, the 'real world', the parents' basement and unemployment. Whatever. This, of course, means that famous people are flocking to graduation ceremonies spewing forth words of wisdom, encouragement, and cliched optimism. Don't get me wrong--optimism is great, and cliches, as cliched as they are, became that way because they contain lasting truth. But I do sometimes feel that graduation speeches are a bit unrealistic.

This is inevitable. Everyone wants a big name at their commencement, so they hire out to Hollywood and Washington (the D.C. one). And if I were making a list of places that don't mirror the real world, those would be one and two. (although, in some ways, they mirror reality all too well!). Hollywood and D.C. are magnets for egotism, undue wealth, and artificial measures of success. So it's no surprise that the speeches coming from these famed speakers don't mirror the reality that most of us live.

"You can do anything!" "Change the world!" "Stand out, be different from everyone else!" "Make your own path!" I'm not saying that this isn't good advice, but given in the context and from the context they come from, it becomes very hollow. I personally don't have any use for it.

If I  were giving graduation advice, it would probably be along these lines:

"Be kind. If you want to change the world, start with being kind. Be kind to the person next to you, in the cubicle across from you, to the people at the dinner table, and to the person who is different from you. Just be kind.

Endure. Life is going to throw hard things your way. Sometimes, you'll be on top. Sometimes you'll feel like you are at the bottom of a pit with the whole world stacked on top of you. Decide to keep going. Choose to hope. Choose to trust people, to still be kind when you are struggling, and to let others be kind to you. Do the best you can and hope and hang on.

Don't measure yourself by what you have or don't have. Don't measure yourself by what you see others as being. You are you, and success for you doesn't look the same as success for me. If you are content (truly content) with your life, you don't owe anyone any explanations and you shouldn't feel any regret, embarrassment, or inferiority. Maybe you'll be rich and famous. Maybe you won't. status doesn't define you, so don't worry if you don't meet some arbitrary, world-determined standard of achievement.

Finally, choose who you want to be. You can be whoever you want to be but if you don't decide who that is, and stick to it, you'll never make it. And the values and characteristics you choose to have are far more important than the material possessions you choose to acquire. Choose to be a person, a character, of substance. Choose to be someone who is kind, brave, strong, optimistic, trustworthy, someone with integrity. Choose to stand by what you believe in no matter what. And then do everything you can to be that person. And then you will be content, happy, and self-assured."

So, there it is. A rough draft of the advice I'd give to, well, not just graduates, but to anyone. Maybe it isn't really that different from the Bigwig crowd of Commencement speakers are saying, but as someone who is a pretty ordinary Jane, maybe it would reach those other Joes and Janes who don't aspire to fame and fortune and just want to be normal. Anyway, to all you grads, congrats, condolences, and good luck!

Rights or Right?

The other day, on the way home from work, a passenger on the bus dropped his hat and another passenger picked it up and ran to the door of the bus to give it to passenger 1. I had been feeling a bit self-absorbed, tired, and a bit unfriendly towards the world at large, and hadn't felt overly favorable to my fellow riders. Not that I'd been rude or anything, more that I just ignored them. But I had 'summed them up', I guess you could say. I wasn't necessarily judging them or anything, because I really wasn't invested enough to form an opinion. But I did survey them as I got on the bus and found my corner to hermit up in.

Anyway, when passenger two returned the hat, I was shaken from my self-indulgent stupor. I kept feeling like I should be doing something to help, but it doesn't really take that many people to return a hat. And the first passenger thanked him, I saw a totally different passenger one from the one I had summed up previously. I had observed certain things, and wondered about them in the context of my own experience, and then dismissed it all from my mind, but that small, insignificant interaction gave me a chance to see beyond the surface and shift from the immune human being on a bus to a participant in humanity, and I was incredibly grateful for the experience.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not a callous person, I try very hard not to limit people to what I can gather from a brief glimpse of them on a bus (hardly a reliable way to learn someone's character!). I'm a normal human being who is trying her best to do some good in the world, and I'm not saying that you should run out and meet everyone on the bus or anything. What stood out to me about this incident was what a difference kindness makes in how we perceive each other, and how we feel about each other.

That same day, I had listened to a podcast, a debate that centered around freedom of speech and our right to said freedom. And as I listened, I just kept feeling dismayed at how much more concern everyone feels about their rights than they do about doing what is right--what is right being what is kind, what is respectful, what shows understanding and courtesy towards someone else whether we agree or not. Basically, what is right being the golden rule (a very undervalued principle!).

I read headlines and I feel like there is so much anger everywhere, people all fighting for a piece of some non-existent pie, everyone being against everyone else, loud voices, defensiveness, and just so much anger. I'm not qualified to give an opinion on whether the anger is justified or anything. There are a lot of problems in the world, there's a lot of unfairness, and I feel like a little kid who doesn't know enough to handle big problems. But it does seem like a lot of the arguing and anger and discord stems from a world more concerned about getting their own than trying to treat other people the way they deserve. And I think of that act of kindness. One person tried to be kind, and suddenly the strangers involved became real. I saw myself in them--my desire to make others smile, to help others. One of them reminded me of my dad. I was reminded of my own gratitude when people do small things to help. When you see yourself in others, it is hard to feel indifferent to them. It's the golden rule at work.

So what is my point? I don't know if I know. But I think of that debate about freedom of speech, and the people arguing that they should be able to say whatever they want, whenever they want, with impunity. Well, maybe you'll think I'm naive, but it seems to me that if we stopped worrying so much about what we are legally entitled to say or do, and thought more about whether we ought to say or do it--whether it is the right thing to do, even if we have a right to do it--the world might run just a little more smoothly. What say we go be kind?

And the Ordinary goes to...

The lady in front of me at the grocery store. It was kind of late, so the store wasn't crowded, and I wasn't in a huge hurry, and she was almost done. But then one of her coupons didn't work, and there were a couple of other things. For once, I wasn't trying to catch a bus or anything, so I didn't really even mind waiting, and she was just a generally nice person. I started scanning my stuff and she was bagging her groceries, and next thing I know, she was bagging mine. "My husband usually bags our groceries while I ring them up, and I figured since you had to wait for me with the coupon thing..." I know bagging may not seem like a big deal, and I don't think I realized until tonight how stressful it is to have to bag all your stuff--especially when other shoppers are trying to ring up their stuff and you feel like you are in the way (I always feel bad about that. Lo, the wonder of the self-scan lane), but that wonderfully ordinary woman made my night so much easier and better. So, thank you woman at the grocery store, for your thoughtful gesture.

A Special Ordinary

I've been thinking about my grandma lately. She's my mom's mom and she is just the kind of grandma I want to be when I grow up. If I ever get to be a grandma.

My grandma, GMC (that's how she signs her name in letters and stuff), is a spunky lady. She's dealing with Alzheimer's now, but she's still got spunk. And while she's still pretty healthy, she is in her 80s, so she can't do all the things she used to, but she's still the same at heart.

I remember when I was younger, she would come over and wrestle with my brothers. Not wrestling on the ground, but she'd still wrestle with them. She was always the one to throw the first cup of water at the family reunion, but she never got wet. And she still has a bit of mischief--not too long ago, my brother was bringing her up to Idaho (maybe a year or two ago), and at a rest stop, while he was inside, she made some snowballs. When he came back, she pelted him. Totally unexpected. (I think maybe I got a little bit of that mischief streak. Sometimes, it shows itself).

When I was in high school, I worked a part time job not too far from my grandma's house and I would sometimes stop by on the way home. It may seem strange that a teenager would want to go spend time at grandma's, but I loved to be there. I could talk to her without any interruptions, and she always had time for me. I would visit when I came home from college, too. I remember once her asking me if I thought she should redo her living room. I have this memory that someone else had suggested it. I opined that it didn't matter what anyone else thought, it was her living room. She did eventually make some changes, but I still remember that conversation. Maybe because she was asking for my thoughts and treated me like they mattered.

I don't have many specific memories of those visits, other than they happened, but I remember them and they really mattered in my life. I live a long way from Grandma now, and I don't see her very often, and with 50+ grandkids and Alzheimer's, she doesn't always remember me. But I still look up to her and I hope to be like her someday.

Another Round of the Ordinaries

To the guy sitting on Liberty holding up a sign saying "Smile--It isn't raining!" I don't know if he had a home to go to, but he certainly wasn't wearing any power suits, for what that's worth. (Not much). That particular street tends to have a lot of people who are struggling to make ends meet, though, so he could be in that category or not. Either way, it's pretty awesome that he was going out of his way to cheer up the world. One person at a time (the most effective way).

To the bus driver on Monday. I got on the bus, and he was taking a small break (come on, can you imagine driving around town all day long without a break?), but usually on the bus, I close my eyes like I'm sleeping (usually I'm trying to). He noticed and asked if I was okay, and I just said I was tired. He asked what my stop was, so that I could sleep and he could make sure I didn't miss it. And he went out of his way for other people too. He was my Monday hero.

To the lady in the K-Mart parking lot today, who saw me and saw that I was looking down, and said, "It can't be that bad!" Which made me smile, and then she asked if I was okay. I'd never seen her before in my life, but she showed such compassion. And, because of that, I smiled at everyone I passed on my way home. That is changing the world.

To all the people I work with. Seriously, I have always been fortunate to work with good people, but usually there is someone that I have a hard time with. But these people--really, they are some of the best and most supportive people I have had the pleasure to work with. There isn't one of them that I don't like. And they have a knack for encouraging me in just the way I need to be encouraged at just the right moment. Telling me to trust the master plan when I'm doubting there is one, or supporting me when I make decisions that may not be logical but are right. They take a chance on me and teach me new things, and trust me with important things. And they really care about me. And I appreciate that.

So there are the ordinaries for the day. Now, go out and do something ordinary!

The Ordinaries #2

Well, Time magazine released their 100 Most Influential People. I usually look at those lists, and I always wonder what their definition of 'influential' is. Anyway, I figured with the 100 most influential people, it would be a great time do award some more Ordinaries. So, here goes:

1) The bus driver, who recognizes me and a lot of other frequent riders and says hello and will keep an eye out for the riders he recognizes.

2) There was the guy in the post office, who was the only one working at the counter, because it was close to pick up and ship out. And he saw the really long line, and he tried really hard to make sure that he gave everyone good service, but you could tell he was also trying to hurry, so that he wasn't keeping people waiting.

3) My friends M. C. and M. R. I look forward to seeing them on Sundays.

4) A. M. and J. K., some more of my friends. They are just trying to live and work and be happy. They are really good at giving moral support, because they can relate to the average Joe. Or Josefina as the case may be.

5) The people I work with. It's so encouraging to see so many good, nice people doing what they can to live a good life and make their corner of the world a better place.

I know there are some mass awards there, but that's the thing about ordinary people. There are a lot of us :) And, so to all the ordinaries out there, keep up the good work.

The "Ordinaries"

Awards for Ordinary People making the world better by doing Ordinary Things

This week, there are a couple of Ordinaries to give:

1) To the guys at Enterprise, who dealt with a crowded lobby at 5:40 on a Friday afternoon calmly and efficiently, like ordinary people would do. It's not that they did anything exceptional--no juggling, no offers of discounts or anything. They just took it all in a stride, and did what billions of people do every day. They dealt with the situation and didn't think about it until it was over.

and

2) To the HR lady who contacted me to let me know that they'd filled the position. I hadn't noticed a deadline, and I don't even know if there was one, but a few days after I sent in my info, she contacted me -  apologizing for the delay! - to let me know they had filled the position, but inviting me to keep watching. This is a pretty ordinary thing. But you'd be amazed at how often people don't have the courtesy to let you know tiny bits of information like that. And, know what? I actually would apply there again, if I saw a position open up. Because an ordinary person did an ordinary thing.

and

3) the lady at church that I don't even know if I really know her name (I know her, I just don't know if I've ever actually been introduced and heard her name), who asked how things were going and commiserated. Who didn't tell me all the things I should do or tell me how fortunate I am. Who just said, "Yeah, it really stinks. But, it's going to work out somehow." Yes, yes it is. Thank you.

Ordinary things, ordinary people, making the world better.