The greatest of these is charity

Last night, my community was given a curfew as a result of protests that took place in response to the death of George Floyd. I've had many, many thoughts, naturally. But in the last little bit, I've been thinking about an experience with a nephew of mine.

At the time he was probably around 4. His family and I had been out doing something that day, I don't remember what, and when we got back to the house, there was the usual transition chaos: getting the kids out of the car, getting everything inside, and now we need to move on to dinner or whatever was next on the schedule. 

My little nephew was upset about something, and was crying, and if you've ever been in that situation (lots of kids, lots to do, frazzle everywhere), you know how easy it is to say, "I'm not going to help you until you calm down." And sometimes, that's the right thing to do as we try to teach children how to manage stressful or upsetting situations. But sometimes, it's not the right answer, and that day, it wasn't.

Somehow, that day I managed to get it right. I knelt down and with nothing but pure love for that sad little bow, I asked what was wrong. I don't remember what it was--something with his shoes I think. He couldn't get them off, or he was having a hard time putting them away, I don't know. Maybe something with the laces? It doesn't matter. What he needed was help, to do something he couldn't on his own. He needed someone to listen, to acknowledge that what he was feeling was real, and hard for him, and he needed someone to be on his side and help him fix the problem. And through no genius or skill of my own, I got it right. And I have thanked the powers that be every time I think of that moment that on that day, I got it right and loved a crying little boy instead of all the other things I could have done. 

I don't get it right enough. Not nearly enough. I want to be the person who gets it right more often. I want us to be a society that gets it right more often. It's easy to look at these--or any protesters--and say, "Well, look at your behavior. Look at what you're doing wrong." It's easy to say, "Well, destruction and violence is not the answer, and so I'm not going to listen to you until you calm down." 

But I just keep thinking of that little boy. These people--our people--they are hurting. They have been hurting. And it is to the point that they can't bear it anymore. They can't keep that hurt in. And what they desperately need is us kneeling down and saying, "Cry on my shoulder. Tell me how I can help. I am here with you. I will share your pain and be with you until we fix it." They need us to love them and be with them and to get it right. They don't need a lecture, or anyone saying, "Well, here's what you did wrong." They need us to love them. And if we love them, we will absolutely do what it takes to fix the problem. We will take them by the hand, and stand with them. And when we have their hand in ours, with real love, there won't be empty hands left to throw things and destroy things. 

My heart breaks for all the broken hearts out there in this moment, for whatever reason. I want to get it right. And I hope you will tell me what I can do to help you and what I can do to make things right.