Milestones

In case you are wondering, you start falling apart at 40. I know this, because I am in my 40s and it was when I turned 40 that I started adding in all the extra annual exams. Among those fun new doctors' visits was a colonoscopy, and it got me thinking. Somehow, it seems like we run out of milestones after our 20s. We've taken our first steps, said our first words, had our first day of school, done graduations, left grade school, learned to drive, gone on dates, voted, etc. What else is there?

Well, there are still plenty of milestones in the rest of life, too. They just aren't as exciting. They're things like bills and mortgages and full-time jobs (that offer insurance and retirement, which is a very positive thing but somehow not as exciting as a first birthday. Way more complicated, for sure), and old-people doctors' exams and such. First car? Comes with a side of maintenance costs and possible loan payments. First promotion? Probably also added a lot of work. First retirement? How are your knees doing?

Some of these milestones I have embraced. For example, I am fully leaning into my "get off my lawn" era. No, I don't actually have a lawn, but my version of this is mocking AI. (It's so mockable). I'm also super leaning into being old and not knowing what slang the kids are using these days. I didn't get out of bed every day for decades to NOT be able to stop caring about what people twenty years younger than me think is cool. There have to be some perks.

And there are some good milestones: paying off mortgages, grandkids, more paid vacation to travel, no more homework (and I do NOT undervalue that milestone!!!), being able to buy a thing just for fun without worrying about not being able to eat for two weeks. There are some good things to come. 

It's just a bummer that they come with more doctors exams. That's all.  

So long 2025

Year in review:

• Flew approximately 56,288 miles for work trips
• Visited some new countries (Paraguay, St. Kitts and Nevis, Dominica, plus airports in St. Martin, Colombia, and Tortola) and new cities in previously visited countries (Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, and Hermosillo, Mexico)
• Revisited some countries (Brazil, Chile, Argentina, Uruguay, Dominican Republic, Mexico) and Puerto Rico (yay!!!)
• Did my first solo work trip (although there were co-workers in Mexico when I got there, so I wasn't alone once I got there, just the only US person there)
• Threw up a lot 
• Got COVID again (24 hours, so can't complain) and got pretty sick with the crud going around in February
• Lost my dad
• Sort of played pickleball for the first time (hitting it around with my sister on the side of a court)
• Had basically every single work tool implode at some point or another
• Moved to a new cataloging tool at work (barely!) and somehow survived the drama
• Way too many weird encounters with men making inappropriate moves on me (2. Two encounters. But it was two too many)
• Read the Thursday Murder Club series and reread some old favorites.
• Learned a few new games (Abandon All Artichokes, Point City, Doomlings, Cartographers, Canvas, Ito, Mantis--I think that was this year--and probably some others that I can't recall right now)
• Bought 3 new camera lenses (I was planning on one, but then a different lens broke, and replacing one turned into 2. Things happen)
• Went to the tulip festival and visited some other local places again
• Enjoyed some new movies, but don't ask me what they are
• Lost some weight (barfing your guts out in San Juan will do that for you)
• Got a great-nephew and got to play with both him and his sister, which was a highlight
• Went to graduations (niece's high school, niece's college)
• Made people laugh, probably made people cry (I'm sorry), watched the world fall apart, and tried to keep it together. It's been that kind of a year. 

It hasn't been a bad year--I've traveled the world, been part of a lot of cool things at work, had good friends, seen beautiful places, and been pretty safe. But it has also been...maybe an exhausting year is the best way to put it. But also, just miserable while being exciting. And it hasn't been a long year but it's also been a century since I went to Brazil in February. Maybe it's just been a Dickensian year, you know, from the "best of times, worst of times" quote in A Tale of Two Cities. I'm glad it's over, but also sad it's gone. 

Mostly, though, I'm ready for a nap.

Full circle

The other day, I was trying to put off getting out of bed and so I scrolled the news. And I saw this headline: 

Skeleton in Guatemalan jungle likely US birdwatcher missing since 2023

The article is about a guy named Raymond Ashcroft, who went missing in Tikal in February 2023 after leaving his birdwatching group and heading back to the hotel alone. 

Which caught my attention, because I was in Tikal (the said Guatemalan jungle) in April 2023, and saw missing person posters in the park about Raymond. My coworker and I talked about what might have happened to him. And months later, remembered about Raymond and wondered if they'd found him.  

And now, there he was. Found. I honestly never thought I would find out what happened to him, but there it was, covered by the BBC. And it's not super crazy, but it is one of those weird moments where life has odd connections.

Anyway, I hope the family feels some closure, now that he's found. Poor Raymond. May he rest in peace now. 

Unsolved mysteries

We've all been there. We do laundry, we fold laundry, we are short a sock. It's annoying and now we have to figure out what to do with the sock.

Well, tonight I did laundry and somehow managed to lose an entire pair of pants. I can't figure out what happened to them. They aren't in my house or the laundry bag, they didn't fall out on the way to and from the laundry room, and they aren't in the laundry room washer or dryer. 

How does one lose an entire pair of pants in the laundry? What kind of plausible explanation is there? I suppose it could have been a magic washer, but really, not plausible. Someone could have stolen them, but that just seems weird. Why would anyone want my pants?! Maybe the machines are scaling up? Is this some kind of protest of the machines? Is it phase one of their takeover of the world?

Seriously, it is just weird. And maybe they'll show up somewhere, but yeah. For the time being, they have vanished. So I guess if you find a random pair of grey dress pants, let me know.

The twilight zone that is a newsfeed

I don't have many apps on my phone, so mostly when I'm sitting around waiting with nothing else to do (or procrastinating, or I'm just bored) I'll check the newsfeed. And I gotta tell you, it is a very bizarre experience. Like, if it was a person, it would definitely have some kind of personality disorder. 

It's got updates on wars, on the weird reality that is the US now, Buzzfeed quizzes and lists, celebrity news gossip, and updates about sports, films, and TV shows. It's got the, "Hey, we found this story of someone whose relative or friend did something that made them furious and so instead of just dealing with it, they plastered it all over the internet" stories. It's got advice columns (I don't mind those as much, at least there is a specific person who is consulting, instead of all 8 billion people and their dogs). It's got the, "the planet is burning to the ground" and the "here is the latest science innovation" and "here's some cool thing someone dug up that rewrites history" and "Look at this cute animal interaction". 

A good chunk of that is arguably not even news, it's just the internet. Sorry, but a Buzzfeed quiz that promises me that if I pick my favorite 90s TV shows they can name my birth month (spoiler alert: they never can. Ever) just doesn't count as news. So, right from the get go there is a bit of a misnomer. It's an internet feed, but not a news feed. (Although, I guess even newspapers have puzzles and stuff, and an entertainment section, so maybe Buzzfeed quizzes are legit. And let's be honest, we all love taking a Buzzfeed quiz and feeling smug when their promise that they can do xyz thing if you take the quiz falls flat). 

But it's super, super bizarre that we have, on the one hand, very concerning stories about the Middle East and Ukraine and Sudan, and then two stories later, "Hey, Jeff Bezos got married and all the rich people in the world went, and can you believe what this person wore?" The two things don't seem to equate. Which, is in part my fault, because I browse all the stories, but even so. 

It is also this very real representation of the world. I don't know that we should all of us all the time only focus on the heavy and concerning stories. I don't think that's healthy, so in that sense, the newsfeed is maybe good. And even though it does feel wrong, bad things happen and I still have to go to work. (Also, there are positive things in the newsfeed, and that's good, because not all news sites might give you the things that will make you laugh). SO, it is also this really interesting reflection of reality in that sense. People are dying, but that dog making faces through the space between airline seats is hilarious and I am going to laugh. Heartache and joy can coexist in the same person. 

Really, if the newsfeed has a personality disorder, it's because society at large has a bit of a personality disorder. Which is probably normal, honestly. We just haven't had as easy access to such a visual representation of it before. I don't know that it's good or bad that a newsfeed is built that way. Mostly, it's just interesting.

But I do think maybe the world has lost its mind. 

Farewell March

It seems fitting that we bid March farewell on a Monday. It wasn't a bad Monday, I mean it was actually pretty decent. It was fine. And I was really going to try to think of something fun and clever and entertaining to write about, but I just don't have anything like that, just a run-of-the-mill Monday, with it's run-of-the mill ups and downs: they fixed one bug in a computer program and now there are a bunch of new bugs; I'm seeing some things that I need to train my team on, and I worry that I'm just not doing a good job of teaching*. But they fixed a problem with on of our interns accounts, so now she can do her job, hooray! And I had a chance to chat with the interns, which I think is always important. I got to work on some collections, and it has been awhile so that was nice. And I helped a friend. 

Even so, it was a day that required cute photographs and hilarious videos of cats walking wonky. It helped, and I made it through the day. And now, to bed, later than I would have liked, as always, but at least I didn't get caught off guard.

*In my defense, there is a reason I didn't get a PhD. Teaching is not my forte. 

Where's the manual?!

As is not too unusual, I have come down with something post-trip. I had a couple of co-workers on the recovering end of something during the trip, but it was also late nights, different climate, different food, working in an archive, several flights (some of which were FREEZING!), so it could have been any number of things, or all of them.

Anyway, this time around, the long weekend wasn't enough for me to recover, which is unusual. I usually bounce back pretty quickly. The year everyone caught the flu working a booth at a conference? I was sick for 2 days then well enough to be back at work, while everyone else was out for a week or two. COVID? I had the 36-hour version. 

This time around, I tried working from home Tuesday (which was a disaster for multiple reasons), and took Wednesday off. Thursday I felt much better, but Friday I was flagging, so I've spent the weekend sleeping a lot, and quite frankly, I'm really bored. I mean, the sleeping is great, but then I wake up and am phlegmy and coughing and sniffling and bored. 

Amidst all of this, I've realized I really don't know how to take care of a sick me. I'm not sure I know how to take care of a sick anyone, but definitely not when it's me. How do you know if you are too sick to work? How do you know if you are sick-tired or just normal tired with a lot of congestion? Do you go see a doctor when it's definitely just one of the oodles of viruses going around? How does that stupid digital thermometer work because I'm pretty sure it's not supposed to shut off in the middle of taking your temperature! 

So, my advice to you is, don't get sick if I'm the only person around. Other than commiserating, I won't be much help.

2025, Planet Earth, Milky Way, Universe

Dear 2025, 

Welcome! You've been here for a few days now, I hope you are getting your bearings, enjoying the neighborhood, and feeling welcome.

You may have heard rumors about 2024, whom you replaced. And how maybe 2024 was awful and we couldn't wait to see it go, stuff like that. And maybe that makes you feel a lot of pressure. I just want to reassure you, there was nothing wrong with 2024. 2024 did a great job! It showed up, gave us 366 days (a whole bonus day!), and didn't implode or explode the universe! It was everything you could ask of a year. 

If there was anything awful, that was on us, not on 2024. I want to let you know this bit of info up front, because it really will be helpful for you while you are here. People are...well, they are people. And, individually, we are often fantastic. Collectively, we also often do great things. But sometimes collectively, we go a little crazy. And sometimes life is just hard and complicated and unfair and we get tired (maybe you do, too. Maybe you want a vacation around August, just like us). And we get cranky with each other and sometimes forget to be nice, and you know how it is. No one likes feeling like the bad guy, so we just blame the year. It's going to happen to you, so be prepared for that. 

It won't be all bad though. We'll also enjoy lots of things, and have really awesome things happen, and we'll look back and say, "2025--what a year!" We'll have summers and holidays and birthdays and we'll keep saying "Where has 2025 gone?!" We really won't be able to get enough of you. 

There will be ups and downs and things will go sideways (sometimes in a good way, sometimes not), and sometimes we will curse you while also trying to make you hold still, and it will have much less to do with you (other than the 365 days. Shortchange me on those, and we WILL have a problem!) than with us. But deep down, we will be glad you are here and will be hoping you succeed at whatever years do (mostly the 365 day thing, I think). 

So, again. Welcome aboard! And good luck!

A simple story

A month or so ago, I was looking for something to read that would just hit the spot. I wasn't in the mood for non-fiction, or deep fiction, so I picked up a nice little bit of youth fiction, "The Year of Miss Agnes by Kirkpatrick Hill. I really wasn't sure what to expect but it was exactly what my self needed. 

It's a really simple read, an Alaskan girl's account of getting a new teacher at their small school and basically, just a narrative about what she learned at school, how her teacher taught, things going on in her community, what life is like, her family, etc. The kind of thing you'd write in a journal, minus the angst and the "My little brother is always taking my stuff" type of thing. There isn't really a big plot, like a mystery to solve, or a major problem to overcome, or anything like that, it's just a narrative about a year in a girl's life. And it was just beautiful. With just a little tiny heartache for a moment in time that no longer exists, both historically and in the sense of a point in one's life where you are innocently young but also growing up.

I think I sometimes get caught up in the need for a lot of action or plot or problems with resolution--with books, with movies, with TV. It's easy to forget that you don't need a lot of drama or anything to really enjoy something. 

Drama can be overrated.

Stress vibe

It's been a bit stressful at work lately. The "there's a lot going on and it's all going on all at once" kind of stressful.

• One employee moved
• which dominoed to hiring another employee
• and shifting the original into a temp role for a while
• and also creating a whole new job in another country because we are going to experiment and hire internationally
• so there's a bunch of HR stuff
• meanwhile, we are planning a trip for two weeks
• but I'll be at a conference for 4 days before we leave, so for me, I'm gone for 2 1/2 weeks
• and need to prep to digitize collections in 4 different countries with 3 different types of equipment and 7 or 8 people with 2-3 days in each location, followed up by a stop in a fifth country for a couple of days
• and we had to figure out how to travel with a 50 lb. camera setup
• and figure out which folders in each collection will require which equipment
• and how to train, and who, on what
• meanwhile, I also need to keep training and keep the day to day stuff going, as if we weren't going on a trip
• and my intern is going on vacation
• so I will have one person actually doing work
• and have to figure out the interviews and hiring stuff for the new employee
• and pack for two trips
• and sleep?

So, it's been busy. And intense. And that's just work. (Thank goodness I don't have much going on outside of work!!!)

And, yes, I am at least a little bit doing that one-upmanship bragging about how much I have going on, at least I suppose there's a little part of that, although that's not my main intention, and the only reason I write about it is because it's been quite life-consuming, so I have nothing else to write about. Just give it 3 weeks, though. 

Error

The other day when I was getting my laptop up and running at work, I got an error message that said, "System error: Invalid argument."

Now, I know I'm definitely not the first one to see this error, and also definitely not the first one to think that maybe we could use that warning in our day-to-day interactions. No lie, I am definitely considering putting it on a t-shirt. Especially in our current state of, well, civil insanity. 

And I'm not saying I'm exempt. As I have mentioned before, my motto should be, "Talk less, smile more." I have invalid arguments all the time. And, sometimes it would just be nice to have something pop up in the moment telling me, "Hey. Maybe take 5 and get your head together?" 

But I think that might require me to wear some kind of VR or AR headset, and I'm just not into that, so I guess I'll do what our ancestors have done for millions of years and just keep trying to be a better person without any computer assistance. 

10 steps to going in circles

It seems like the last couple of weeks at work have been that kind of busy where there are a lot of different things to get done. Some weeks, it's busy but busy with processing collections. But this is the busy with a little bit of everything. Which I don't mind, it just seems like to get one thing done, I have to do five other things first.

For example, I needed to research Florianopolis. But, before I could do that, I needed to return some collections which were either overdue or I'd hit my limit. So, before I could do that, I had to review those collections for whatever I had them for, which involved doing two or three other tasks, and those tasks opened another task can of worms. 

I think I finally got a handle on everything, so hopefully this next week will just be busy with processing collections. Which will seem like a nice respite (although now that I am thinking of it, I don't think that will happen, and it's Saturday, people!!!). 

At the very least, maybe there won't be such a domino effect for getting anything done.

Inertia

I got word that I need to renew my lease on my apartment this week. Which, was weird because for the first 5 years, I had no lease, I just paid month-to-month. Then they remodeled and I moved and signed a one year lease, but that was about 3 years ago and I've never been asked to renew, so I assumed it was month-to-month, but apparently not. 

Anyway, no biggie, but it did get me thinking, briefly, about whether I want to move. And I was reminded that I am a person who generally thrives on inertia. 

I'm not saying I am never proactive. There are lots of things, especially where people are involved, or when cars get stolen and I have to buy a new one, where inertia just doesn't cut it. 

But some things, like "should I move or not," are strongly dictated by inertia. I mean, moving is such a hassle. I'd have to find a place, I'd have to pack, and unpack, and wherever I moved to I'd probably have to drive to work, which sounds awful. 

Whereas, if I do nothing, I can focus my energies on everything else that isn't content to remain the same. 

The laws of physics are real, and sometimes you just have to accept it. Embrace the inertia.

I was not prepared for this

I know I'm new to the role of "management" and am still learning. But one thing I was not prepared for is how very 1 step forward 3 steps back it is. In the days of just being an employee (ah, beautiful days. Many good things about them), I finished work and it was...finished.

Now, somehow, for every piece of work I get done, I seem to have 3 new pieces of work to do! One task really ends up being the first step of a process, rather than a task that can be completed and really be done. 

Maybe I'm doing something wrong, but I think to an extent it is the nature of being in a role with more responsibility. The work I deal with is the work that is more complex, with more pieces to address. And that's okay. I generally like the challenge of the work I'm doing, and the variety in my day to day work. 

But every now and then, I do miss being able to be done with a thing. 

Something suspicious

I like fruit snacks. It wasn't a thing I had when I was a kid (maybe that novelty is part of their attraction?) but I have definitely made up for the lost years of my childhood and have even discovered which ones I prefer. But when I eat them, I can't completely escape the niggling in my mind that tells me they are just softer gummy bears with a smaller serving size. But one is a candy and one is a "snack", and they get to go in different aisles of the grocery store. 

Same with muffins. They are basically undercover cupcakes, but one is a breakfast food and the other dessert. Once you start to think about it, most of the breakfast aisle  has been invaded by desserts. Pop tarts?  Fake pie that you put in the toaster. Cereal bars? Closer to candy bars trying to keep a low profile. And there's a whole line of "snacks" that are desserts in disguise. Someone is definitely trying to subvert my breakfast (and snack) diet!

On the bright side, it does make me feel slightly less horrible about how often I skip breakfast. 

I'm always on time somewhere

I can't be the only one who has this problem. I have 8 clocks in my house: kitchen stove, microwave, wall clock in living room, alarm clock, an actual watch, my phone, my tablet, and my laptop. (And I usually bring home my work laptop, which would make 10). That is a lot of clocks for approximately 500 square feet. The problem is, none of them seem able to agree on what time it is. 

Even if I set them off of each other, which I try to do, they always get off. And it's not just at my house. At work, we use atomic clocks and in one room it might end up being 3 or 4 minutes later than in another. It's as close to time travel as you can get. 

Obviously, having disagreeing clocks is a problem because in one part of the house, I may think I'm on track for getting to work on time and then I take 10 steps and find out I'm running behind!* 

It also does just prove the fact that the measurement of time is just pretend. It is one of the many pretend things in the adult world, and as long as we all keep believing, it will work. Now, if we can all just believe that my clocks will agree...

*Not that this is why I'm running behind. I blame that on the universal law that a bed is never more comfortable than the 10 minutes before you have to get out of it and the hour after you have to get out of it. 

Off

Maybe it's due to the long winter. Or maybe it's the shift back to travel mode at work or having been carless for a couple of months while I wait for repairs. Maybe it has been slowly building--it's quite likely. Or maybe it's a more recent development, resulting from my boss and the other supervisor on my team being gone at the same time or the changing temperatures. All I know is it has been a really off week. I haven't been able to keep track of my calendar and my focus has been out the window. My memory is on vacation (I almost forgot to buy milk. I never forget I need milk!). It has definitely not been a week to brag about. 

Fortunately tomorrow I have an all day training that I am not in charge of, so I just show up, someone else walks me through it all, I don't have to figure out what to do or when, or be a problem solver. And then a three day weekend. Hopefully, I'll be able to reset and start next week on a better note. 

This week's ups

Free pizza for lunch on Tuesday

Didn't have to reschedule my dentist appointment, because I didn't have jury duty

Was pretty focused at work

Reading some good books

Fun chat with the family on Sunday

Three-day weekend

Cold weather kept me at home, and home was cozy (and kept me out of crazy event traffic)

Did a lot of cataloging at work

Great weather for cocoa

Listened to lots of podcasts 

Enjoyed some very tasty peanut butter sandwiches

Things were pretty chill, nothing too crazy

2022

Was in and out of 13 airports

Visited 5 new countries (and experienced customs in 6 countries), meaning I finally got some stamps in my passport

Attended 1 wedding, gaining a second nephew-in-law

attended 2 baptisms (missed the 3rd. Geography).

attended 1 high school graduation

Read 40+ books (favorites included Humankind,  A Hopefully History, Atomic Habits, and American Nations)

Finally broke my streak and caught COVID

Took about 26 GB of photographs (how many of those are worth keeping is a different question)

Worked on improving my Spanish and made a little progress on being able to roll my 'r's 

Hopefully made a few people's days better

Visited 2 National Parks (I think one is actually a monument) I'd never been to before--it was my year of going places, it seems

Saw all 25 nieces and nephews at least once during the year

Finished my service as committee chair 

Lots of mess-ups, and hopefully some improvement

Gained some new friends, and didn't forget the old ones, even if they wonder if I have

Didn't sleep enough

Tried 

Civic duty

Am I the only one who finds voting stressful? And, now that I think about it, a lot of civic duties are stressful. Jury duty, for example. For the record, I think I would be a horrible jury member. I sense that I would come away with lots of questions and doubts and I just don't recommend me for jury duty.

But voting. That comes around much more frequently than jury duty and there is no lottery setup, where you might get out of it. And it's just...the worst. 

I think I could handle it if I had to choose from a series of good candidates. I mean, that would be the dream. But usually, it's choosing between a series of undesirable candidates. And there's the ballots where there's only one candidate. 

The closer to the local level you get, the less information there is. I tend to resort to whoever bothered to fill out their bio on the free election website. At least they bothered to put in that low hanging level of effort. 

Furthermore, why are some of these positions elected? Why is the state auditor an elected official? Or the coroner? (Not a thing in my state, but it is in some). It's weird. Just hire someone, for crying out loud. Not everything needs to be a vote.

And don't get me started on the mail. I will vote for the candidate who opts to save the planet by not sending out a bunch of junk email telling me about how bad their opponent is. And whoever doesn't text me with dramatic warnings of doom. I'm not into drama, especially trumped up drama. 

Yeah, voting stresses me out. Nevertheless, I will do it. Because it is my responsibility as a citizen. But, I would really love it if it could be less stressful.