Dust hole

I've been thinking maybe it's time to give my car a name: Dusty. 

It isn't what I'd usually go for, but the truth is, my car is ALWAYS dusty. It's not the car's fault. It's called, "I live in a desert and everyone has decided to dig up every bare inch of ground to build stuff on and heck, while we're at it, let's dig up un-bare ground, too, and create even more dirt holes for funsies." I live in a giant heap of dust.

Every time I get in my car to go somewhere, there is a new layer of dust on the windows. I try to wash the windows when I'm filling up, but I think it is just smearing it around. I could wash the car, but what is the point? Twenty feet from where I park, they have torn up the parking lot leaving, you guessed it, a great big open heap of dirt that blows through the breeze and covers my car in dust. 

On the block kiddy-corner from mine? It is completely torn up for construction work so another giant dust hole. South of me? More construction. It's EVERYWHERE. Torn up lots, torn up streets. Dust, dust, everywhere you go. 

I'd love to just hose my car down periodically, because that layer of dust can't be good for visibility, but I live in an apartment complex and have never seen a hose on the premises. 

Ironically, I've been less sneezy the last couple of months, which makes no sense with so much dust in the air. 

Anyway, if ever I or Dusty disappear, just start scraping off all that brown stuff. We might be under there somewhere.

Joe Biden, the luckiest man in America

Well, folks, the 2024 US Presidential election officially has a winner: Joe Biden.

Confused? Let me explain.

First off, no more campaigning. That means he gets to go from working 2 full-time jobs, one of which doesn't pay*, and just focus on his daytime job, which let's be honest, is the worst salaried position in the world. ZERO time off ever, you are always on call, great you have a bowling alley in your basement but when do you ever get to use it? You are ALWAYS working. And half your colleagues always hate you. Seriously, talk about a toxic work environment. Why do people even want that job? 

Anyway, as well as reducing the workload, he gets to step out with people praising him for doing the right thing. He goes out a hero.** Which is always better than the other way to exit. 

Second, after all the malarkey, nonsense, and shenanigans of the campaign and election, whatever the outcome is, no one can blame him. Just try it. 

"Biden, this is all your fault!" 

"Did you run for president?" 

"Well, um, no. But you shouldn't have dropped out."

"I shouldn't have done what I thought was best for my country? What everyone asked me to do? I shouldn't have served the people?"

"Um, well. Uh..."

Yeah. Total win. And, the corollary is that whatever happens in the 4 years after the 2024 election, no one can blame him. It won't be his monkey or his circus.*** 

But, best of all? He gets to move into the one job that is even better than being the POTUS. He will become one of that elite group known as the Ex-POTUS. All of the perks of the job, but none of the headaches.

No more dealing with the drama of Congress. No more being blamed for everything that goes wrong anywhere to anyone. And the volume of paperwork in his life is going to drop real fast!

Also, thanks to the Supreme Court, he has immunity for everything, as long as he can tie it to an official act, so he doesn't have to worry about partisan politics coming after him for revenge, if that turns out to be a thing. 

So, yes. Objectively speaking, Joe Biden won the 2024 election. Well played, Mr. President. Well played. 

*Campaigning doesn't pay, right? I mean, if it does, it seems like it is in a very complicated way, and honestly I don't see that it's worth it.

**I don't know if it was the best thing or not, but I think he did what he felt was the best and right thing, and that's really what matters, since none of us are fortune tellers and we can only act for ourselves anyway. Also, I think the man is also fully entitled if there is also a part of him that is saying, "Who needs this garbage? I don't have to take this! Sheesh!"

***Although, I guess he still lives here. Not that he'd have to. I read that he has 2 homes. With housing costs what they are, he could easily sell them and retire to another country. Or his own private island. Or with his resume, he could start his own micro-nation. They are all the rage. 

Fare thee well?

How did your global tech outage Friday go? 

Mine was okay. I had an early morning meeting (like, before-I-even-drag-myself-out-of-bed-usually early) and so I was trying to get my laptop going while walking to my office, and no dice. I was part of the lucky blue screen of death contingent. I kind of knew that it was maybe bigger than just me, because I saw another computer (unattended) with the blue screen of death, which, oddly was a little hopeful because it meant it was maybe not just my computer that was going to be a nightmare.

Which was later confirmed by a conversation from the other side of the cubicles, so a good news bad news situation. And also, my day wasn't nearly as bad as the people who worked at the place responsible for the glitch.

And, for me I lucked out because it was on a Friday and no one comes into the office on Friday, so when I went to get help in person from the tech guys, there was no wait. Seriously, it took like 3 minutes! The phone? I hadn't even gotten through after 20. Lo, the perks of working in the office.

Sadly, I never really recovered from the first 4 hours of not really being able to get much done. I rallied a bit at the end of the day, but just lost momentum early on. But it has been a fairly successful week so it will work out. And, I had a chance to clean my office a bit, which I've been needing to do for ages--another bit of silver lining. 

I hope your outage day was as smooth as mine, but also that in years to come, you will do at least a little bit of embellishing when, in twenty years, you tell your kids or grandkids or whatever youngster is around where you were when the world's tech shut down.

It's all about time

I saw an article about how climate change is affecting time and for a hot minute I was pretty excited. At last, something to explain why April feels like it was 10 years ago, and this morning was months ago. And each day simultaneously lasts about 12 minutes. 

Turns out though, the climate-change-messing-with-time thing really doesn't explain my predicament, because it is making each day longer. (Which, I guess could explain part of it, but not all of it). It occurs to me though that, if this is the case, maybe we are all living longer (even if it is only by milliseconds). Also, you can blame anything on climate change. And there may actually be scientific evidence to support your claim. I'm not recommending it, just observing, friends. 

May your day be delightfully longer.

Dream vacation

During my family's reunion last week, the hypothetical was thrown out: "If you could go on a 2 week, all expenses paid vacation, what would you do?" And I got some great vacation tips, if money is no object:

1. Hire a personal chef. Which is brilliant, because doesn't every parent need a break from fixing food? That's a real vacation (especially for my sister-in-law, who deals with multiple food allergies in her home!!!)

2. Pick one place, because hopping around is exhausting--packing up every other day. It wears you out. But, there's an alternative...

3. Hire a valet (what is the female equivalent of a valet? Lady's maid?). they travel ahead of you and buy your clothes for the next leg of your journey, so you don't have to pack. Then they can arrange to have all the clothes from the last stop sent home. Vacation, no suitcases, AND you get a new wardrobe.

4. Leverage the vacation to get some long-term goals. My brother said he would use his vacation to build a house, and learn some carpentry skills in the process. Genius. 

5. And speaking of learning, use the vacation to develop a hobby, instead of just sight see. I like this idea, too. To do an apprenticeship is a bit expensive, but an all expense paid vacation to do it? You could do worse. 

So if anyone ever offers you a 2 week all expenses paid vacation, now you have some great tips on how to make the most of it.