Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Monkey Business

Happy Year of the Monkey, all! Apparently, this is my year!

Yes, I was born in the year of the monkey. But I think that perhaps there was some confusion, because according to the description in an article I read, Monkey people are "lively, quick-witted, curious, innovative, and mischievous". Also, "smart, clever and intelligent, especially in their career and wealth", gentle and honest (which brings an everlasting love life--I'd like to file a complaint because that sure ain't happened for me!), they have an "impetuous temper" (what does that mean?) and are a bit snobbish. Sociable, enthusiastic, self-assured, suspicious, cunning, selfish, arrogant, jealous, playful, jokesters who don't mean any harm, adaptable, charming, and lucky are among the other adjectives used to describe us Monkeys. 

This does not describe me. 
Lively? Nope. Feeling burned out most of the time. 
Quick-witted? Maybe, and possibly smart and all synonyms thereof, depending on how you define them. I'd say "common sense" is more my style than anything else, and half the time I'm not even sure of that. Definitely not smart about money or my career (that one I'm just kind of winging). 
Innovative? Hmmm, not so much. Definitely not in the top 10 words used to describe myself. Curious? Probably, but more breadth-wise than depth-wise. 
Mischievous. Yeah, okay, probably that one. I did steal a car once (I put it back!) and have been known to get up to antics in my day. When I'm not feeling like a zombie from exhaustion and stress. 
Impetuous temper--not sure about the impetuous part, but I do have a temper, although don't we all? Mine is of the sort that flares up quickly for a very brief time, and then I start realizing all of the extenuating factors that explain things away.
Snobbish--well, one of my best friends thought I was a snob, but we realized later it was because I was so shy. 
Sociable--I like people, and I think I'm friendly enough, although probably pretty awkward. Does that count as sociable?
Self-assured? Nope. Huh-uh. Very much not so. 
Suspicious. I think naive is more me. Can you be suspicious and naive at the same time? 
Cunning--I think I could be, but it takes so much energy and that tiny bit of malevolence. I'm too lazy to be cunning.
Enthusiastic--see lively.
Adaptable--I think this is a requirement to survive humanity. Most of us are, but maybe we aren't all as good at it, or as stylish. So I have no idea how I rate. 
Jealous, arrogant, and selfish--I honestly have no idea. I'm assuming I'm not, but maybe people are just to nice to tell me? 
Charming? Ha ha ha ha ha ha! If I weren't feeling so congested and my throat weren't so raw from coughing right now, I would be laughing out loud (I really am sick, by the way). Definitely not charming.
Lucky. What is luck, really? Fortunate, yeah. But not anymore or less than anyone else, on average. No one rubs my head before going into a championship game or anything. But, I don't particularly think about luck, so maybe I am. Couldn't say.
Playful. Well, considering the toy box under my bed, I'll go with yes. What the heck, why not.

Anyway, I think you'll see that I'm lacking quite a few of the characteristics that define people of the Year of the Monkey. Maybe this only works if you are actually Chinese, which would explain my dearth of Monkeyness. Or maybe I'm just an outlier. Or maybe it's a "pick 5" situation, where you don't get them all, you just get to choose from several options? And I'm not saying I want all of them (jealousy? Really? Pass). And I'm not complaining or anything. I just want to know, can I still be a Monkey?

If not, maybe the Dragons will adopt me.

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