The Internet Doesn't Know Where I am

Way back in July, my internet suddenly got very confused as to where exactly I am. I was searching for plane tickets (I know, you doth think me mad for flying during the pandemic, but needs must or whatever. I don't regret it) and Google kept popping up flights from an airport 4 hours away from me. Which was weird, because Google always seemed to be WAY to in the know about where I was prior to that. 

And then, I was using a website to find some service opportunities in my area* and it kept putting me in a town about an hour and a half north. 

Now, I sometimes end up 30 minutes north, or 10 minutes north, or 5 blocks north and west. But the internet can't seem to figure out where exactly I am. 

Which is mildly inconvenient at worst. I mean, it does get a little old to have to constantly tell Google maps that it's lost so that I can get accurate directions somewhere. But at the same time, it's kind of awesome. The internet can't find me. Somehow, this seems like a good thing, given how much the internet seems to have on me (don't know how. My biggest use of social media is a blog, people. That's so last decade!). And, since I have no idea how to fix this problem, I think I'm just going to run with it and enjoy watching the internet be lost.  

*justserve.org, if you are looking. 

This post brought to you by:*

Fridays. The best day. Let's make more of them.

Car shopping. Definitely would have been a circle in Dante's inferno if they'd had cars back then.

Ratings. They're overrated. 

First world problems. Such a privilege!

Love. So much easier than hate--let's all be lazy!

Panda bears playing in the snow. Pure joy.

Face masks in the summer. Your face sweats just as much with them, but now you have a sweat catcher!

Big people words. Pretty useful.

Zoom. Sometimes seems like a misnomer when you're in a meeting.

Pugtato. Not a potato dog fish**. But very cute. And friends with Croccoli. 

Getting old. A thing everyone tells me not to do without telling me how not to do it.

Stuff. Usually more fun with someone else.

Penguins in art museums. Because it's 2020, and that's a thing now!

2020. Worst prank ever.

*This idea was basically taken from "Dear Hank and John", a podcast where two brothers give you dubious advice and all the news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon. They always do fake sponsorships, which crack me up, so I thought I'd give it a whirl. 

**Dog face puffer fish. Google it. The one I saw when I had my appendix out was the exact color (and shape) of an Idaho potato with blue and yellow fins. Thus, potato dog fish.

A little bit of floral sunshine

 

First world problem

I have this problem. There are too many books to read and I don't have time to read them all. 

Admittedly, this is a brilliant problem to have. Have you considered all the problems you could have in your life? Famine, poverty, abuse, war, discrimination, illiteracy, disability, or a billion other massive and actual real problems. 

Also, given that the purpose of life is not actually to just read everything you can so you know a ton*, it's hard to even classify it as a problem. Maybe a minor inconvenience at best? 

And there are actually some real benefits that come from my little challenge. For example, I have to seriously consider how I am using the resources available to me--time, money, emotion**. Which means I'm becoming a wiser steward of said resources. Theoretically. I'll be honest, it's still a bit embarrassing to see how many unread books I have on my Kindle. And in hard copy. And then I keep acquiring more. And compared to my colleagues (I work in an archive. With a lot of book lovers--librarians and archivists trend towards being bookish), I'm not even bad at all! I can walk out of a bookstore without having purchased anything. I can purge my books. But there are still so many!

So, everyone, could you help me out and make the world a little less interesting so people don't write so many books? It would really help me out. Thanks.

*No. That is not the purpose of life. It is a perk. It is something I personally find very enjoyable. But what does it matter in and of itself? The purpose of life is people--to love our neighbor, to care about each other, to improve the human experience for everyone. Trumped only by loving God, but for the non-religious among us, I think it's not too much to ask that we agree that the purpose of life is people.

**Remember when I mentioned that I needed to stop reading history? Yeah. Reading is an emotional pursuit, not just an intellectual one. 

Never Have I Ever: Part II

 Here are the things that won't get me out. Never have I ever:

• been skiing on snow
• watched the Oscars (love the red carpet pictures, but I have never watched the show)
• watched an episode of the Simpsons (or needed to, for that matter)
• broken a bone
• dyed my hair
• owned a minivan
• done Sudoku
• made a birdhouse
• been to NYC
• purchased a brand new vehicle
• had an alcoholic beverage
• run a marathon (or wanted to!)
• owned a washer and dryer (to my chagrin)
• played poker
• played real golf
• been on a cruise
• had my wisdom teeth out
• owned the 64 count box of Crayola crayons (I always wanted them)
• watched the Super Bowl
• worked a custodial job
• eaten haggis
• had a middle name
• cooked a turkey
• flown first class
• owned a real Care Bear or Cabbage Patch doll (I had siblings who had one, but not me. Which is fine. I can't say I feel deprived at all)
• written a thesis. Or dissertation
• ridden on one of those electric scooters (Lime, Bird, whatever they all are)
• taken a taxi in the US (I have in the Dominican Republic, though)
• seen Star Wars: The Rise of  Skywalker
• seen a real panda bear (which makes me sad)
• played Scrabble