Dear September

Dear September, 

Before we officially welcome you to 2020, I thought maybe I'd give you a heads up on what exactly you are walking into. In case you've missed the headlines.

2020 has been a year. And then some. And there's still more of it to come. We've had pandemics, and there have been protests, and all sorts of political shenanigans (with more to come in November, so don't feel like you need to cover that). There have been fires and hurricanes and earthquakes and killer bees and locust infestations and the plague and I don't even know what else. Basically, January through August have covered the gloom and doom stuff.

What hasn't been covered is plain old, everyday normalcy. Run of the mill, "nothing to see here"-ness. So, my advice to you is, if you really want to make an impression on the world this year? Keep it simple. Give us some nice weather (minus any disasters). Maybe throw in a patch of world peace somewhere if you really want to get extravagant--Syria wouldn't mind, neither would Yemen. Want to be really memorable? Maybe magically make money appear in everyone's bank account. I'm sure there are some leprechauns who'd be happy to help with that. Or add an hour to every night so we can all rest up, if you are more into subtlety. 

Whatever you do, don't feel like you have to one up the months we've had so far. I promise, you can show up and do absolutely nothing and you will get the gold medal for best month of 2020. 

Anyway, just some friendly advice on how you can win some like points. Now, go out there and win us over.