Let's talk about peer pressure

With this recent-ish move (it is becoming less and less recent--yikes!), I am now working in a place that more closely reflects my values and beliefs. Like, super closely. And I have observed a very bizarre phenomenon: I am way more conscious about what I wear.

Not that I wasn't conscious about it before. It was just in a more general way, the "what is generally considered work appropriate?" and just to get ideas of designs and fit and stuff. But I have different standard of modesty than most of my former co-workers had, so mentally, I didn't give as much authority to their fashion choices.

But now, I'm surrounded by people with the same standard of modesty. The first month, I kept looking at what all the women were wearing and feel like a total misfit. I wasn't, but I did a lot more comparing of my outfits to theirs. I think I still am doing it, I'm just not thinking about it with as much awareness, which is an even bigger problem, because my budget can't handle buying lots of clothes just to keep up with the Jones'.*

Anyway, this experience led me to a huge revelation, that shouldn't have been huge at all: peer pressure is so effective because it's coming from your peers.

Well, duh, you say. Duh yourself, I reply. Let's break this apart. When I was a kid, peer just meant everyone in my class. But that is the wrong way to approach peer pressure.

Peer is defined by Google (why they are an authority, I don't know, but I bet you will accept it because everyone else does) as "a person of the same age, status, or ability as another specified person." Key word being "same." Think about your sixth grade class. How many of them were really the same as you in any way that mattered? Or the people you work with? My last job, a lot of my co-workers didn't have the same beliefs as me. So if one of them said, "Let's go get a drink after work", I wouldn't have felt much pressure. Because in the most important way, they weren't the same as me. People not of my faith can have all sorts of differing beliefs from me, and it doesn't have much influence on my way of thinking at all. But people of my faith? If they have even a slightly different opinion on a doctrinal matter, it really messes with me. Because we are the same. We are peers. The drunk guy on the street corner? Not my peer. Zero influence. The ladies at church? Those are my peers.**

So my school got it all wrong. I didn't need to watch out for the kid who hung out in the alley smoking during break, or the athlete who partied on the weekends. They were my peers five times removed. It's the first peers you have to watch out for.


*There is another weird phenomenon, though--for some reason, now that I'm wearing skirts and dresses, it is somehow not okay to rotate through the same half dozen skirts like I did with my dress pants. Why? It's ridiculous. What's the difference? I think it's probably that skirts have such different cuts that it's more noticeable if you wear the same one multiple times. Also, skirts are in some cases less neutral. I can only wear my purple flowered skirt with so many things, whereas my black dress pants work with a ton of tops, so I get more variety with fewer articles of clothing. Fashion is weird. 
**The positive side of this is peers can also be a good influence. We want to be the same as the people we respect and admire, so if we admire good people, we'll try to be like them. Most members of my Church do have a very positive influence on me, and encourage me to try harder and be better.