The real tragedy of the modern office

Any office worker anywhere that is worth their salt will be able to come up with multiple reasons why they hate the office. This is in part because we are people, and we do have a real talent for finding things that need to be fixed. (To quote a friend of mine, we "have a problem for every solution.") But also, it's in part because a lot of things about offices just are kind of dumb. Cubicles come to mind. I mean we can all agree that cubicles are just a horrible idea, right? Especially in a post-pandemic hybrid work environment. One of my employees had to borrow our managers office for an interview for a job at our organization this week, because not only does she have a cubicle, she has a shared cubicle*. 

But there is another great tragedy happening in the modern office, and it has to do with windows. Floor-to-ceiling windows. Internal-facing floor-to-ceiling windows. 

What, you may ask, is the tragedy of that? Isn't it nice to not be completely shut off from everything? And you're right. It is. It's really nice to not feel like I'm in solitary confinement. The tragedy, my friends, is that dry erase markers exist, and those windows provide a huge canvas, but I'm expected to act like an adult! And not just an adult. A professional adult!!!!!

It wouldn't be so bad, except on the floor where I work, there is a room called the fish bowl. Take a guess why. You're probably really close: The entire west side of the room (which is in the middle of the floor, not on any outer walls) is ALL WINDOW. And on Friday, I realized it would be totally amazing to write messages on the windows to the people in the fishbowl (which they would probably love, because then everyone wouldn't be able to start at them all the time. I mean, cubicles are bad, for sure, but a fish bowl?!). And now I just really, really, REALLY want to create a fishbowl window mural.**

However, that sort of behavior is, I hear, extremely frowned upon. So, instead, I will have to resort to finding hilarious pictures, printing them, and taping them on the window. (Much easier clean up, I agree. Custodial will thank me). 

But the dream of dry-erasing the windows at work lives on.***

*Yes. A shared cubicle. Because some fool somewhere looked at the cubicle and said, "No, no. Three 'walls' is still too much. Let's take it down to 2." That person has a lot to answer for. 

**well, maybe not me, because I can't draw worth a darn. My major artistic achievement is the stick dinosaur. Pro tip--don't give it stegosaurus plates. 

***Full disclosure. When I left my last job, I did write a message on my mentor's office window. The last update, which was probably 3 years ago, was that it was still there. I left that job over 7 years ago. Yes. I do feel really cool.