So that happened

 Some fun and surprising headlines from the last year:

"Child tweets gibberish from US nuclear-agency account"  Um, yeah, that's not alarming at all.

"Canadian beavers chop down town's internet" Good to know the interwebs are so secure.

"Belgian farmer accidentally moves French border" It could happen to anyone, right? I'm sure he put it back.

"Josh fight: hundreds join friendly battle for naming rights" Because what else is there to do during a pandemic? 

"Humpback whale spits out lobsterman" Apparently, lobstermen are NOT delicious*

"World's tallest sandcastle build in Denmark" I've never really thought about building sandcastles in Denmark...

"The traffic patrol officer at this school is a chicken. And it wears a fluorescent vest" And we were worried about robots taking our jobs...

"Rhino Temporarily Escapes Enclosure at Omaha's Henry Doorly Zoo, Prompting Lockdown" Yes, I think lockdown is the appropriate response when a rhino is running around loose. 

"Escaped zebras spark double takes and denials in Maryland" Rhinos AND zebras? Apparently, it's not just people going stir crazy during the pandemic.

"Camels escape circus and wander Madrid streets" And why not. If I was in Madrid, I'd want to roam the streets.

"World conkers champions' celebration plans" First off, why don't we play conkers in the US? And yes, people, they deserve a championship, too.

"Motorcycle thief flees crime scene on tractor" Which seems to indicate that this crime did NOT go according to plan.

"Balloon World Cup: Gerard Pique organises first event" Yes, but how are they at Flippy-Floppy?**

"New Zealand City parts ways with its wizard" What?!?! Also, does my city have a wizard?

"Amazon parrot plays peekaboo with CCTV traffic camera" Which was probably the most entertainment the traffic guys had in a long time. 

"San Diego motorway frenzy after armoured van spills money" It's a cartoon/movie scene come to life!

"Pokemon Go: Police fired for chasing Snorlax instead of robbers" Ummmmm...I'm concerned.

"Search for monkey missing after US motorway crash" So many questions. 

Every headline with "Internet bashes/sides with/reacts/etc." First, this isn't a thing. Second, why do I care what internet users think? Third, why is any of this my business? (Answer: it's not). 

*Shout out to "We Don't Eat Our Classmates" by Ryan Higgins.
**Flippy-Floppy is the balloon game, but you wear socks on your hands. Long socks, so that the ends hang off and you have to hit the balloon with the empty sock part. It makes the balloon game much harder.