The friends

A while ago I was thinking about friendship. Not sure why, as is the case with most of the things I think about. Anyway, I was thinking about some of my dearest friends and I honestly don't remember how we became friends. 

I know how we met, the where and the circumstances that led to us meeting each other. But I don't remember how we went from strangers to close friends. And that is probably because, for me, friendship isn't instantaneous. So, there isn't going to be a moment when I say, "And now we are besties."

Personally, I think that it is wonderful that I can't recall the details of how I gained my friends. It's lovely and just how I like my friendships. But I think not everyone is like that. I think there are some people who decide after 5 minutes that you and they are going to be pals for life. 

For me, that is MASSIVELY stressful. I feel anxious just thinking about it. What's the rush? Let's just take a beat. And some of that is because, for me, I don't reveal my entire self in the first five minutes. So when someone decides after five minutes that they like me, my reaction is, "You know nothing about me. You love the facade me, who is polite and friendly in public. But that is NOT me."

Gasp! Horrors! Someone not revealing their true self on first acquaintance?! 

Yes. And furthermore, I have no shame about that fact. It's normal human behavior (I hope!!!) to put our best foot forward when meeting new people. To be civil, even kind. But don't assume that means you know what I'm like. Also, don't assume you want to know all of the real me right off the bat. That is definitely not the way for me to win friends and influence people.*

I don't think the friends-in-time approach is necessarily better than the friends-at-first-sight mentality. They are just different. And for me, the friends-in-time approach works. My friends are definitely amazing!

*Not that I am a horrible person. As far as humans go, I'm pretty decent. I try to do the right thing, I try to care about other people and not just myself, I work to be honest, and I find myself hilarious sometimes. But I also get massively frustrated at things that make no sense to my brain, and the shenanigans of this planet!!! Also, I'm tired almost all the time, and as mentioned before, being social with strangers stresses me out. I've got my crazy. So do you.