Football, pshaw

A couple of weeks ago, my nephew (in-law) introduced me and my nieces to Slapfight, which more or less exactly what it sounds like. In this Russian/Polish sport--there are world championships, and if there's a world championship, surely it must be a sport, right?--two people take turns slapping each other. Yes. This is a thing.

Of course, the discovery of the sport of slapfight led to internet searches on strange and obscure sports, which I don't need to list here, because if you are reading this, you most likely have the internet and can do your own searches. And some of them are legitimately athletic, like Takraw. Talk about skill and athleticism! And underwater hockey probably takes a bit of athletic ability. But a lot of them are just, well, goofy. 

Like extreme ironing. There are extreme ironing world championships. And a Facebook page. And a documentary. Now, some of the participants are really missing the extreme part of extreme ironing, but others--yeah. Waterskiing while ironing? I think that counts. 

Other favorites are unicycle hockey, cardboard tube dueling*, ferret legging, shin kicking, hobbyhorsing, the giant pumpkin regatta, cheese rolling, toe wrestling, crokinole, pillow fighting**, cycleball, and slamball.***

Now, here's where the fun comes. As my nephew pointed out, most of these are sports that, within 10 seconds, we are all experts. If you are looking for a fun and cheap activity, here's what you do. Find videos of some of these strange sports. Find a friend or significant other or sibling or whatever. Watch the with absolutely NO comprehension of what the rules are (no cheating and looking up the rules online first) and no sound on and commentate as you go. Lean into it! 

For example, we did this with crokinole, which looks like it is flick checkers (you try to flick checkers to some spot on the board? Or past some spot? Or through a certain spot? No clue). Per us, you aren't even allowed to learn crokinole until you are 35, but there is an obscure exception where if you are the only descendant of crokinole players who have all died while playing crokinole, you can learn sooner. Which was relevant because the everyone at the tournament (including spectators) appeared to be over 35, except one of the players. Also, this explains why so many people in the US don't run for president. To run, they would have to confirm they are 35 and then they would be hounded by crokinole players to learn to play.**** 

And who knows? If we all take up this little activity, maybe improv commentating can become a sport, too!

*I know, we've all done this. But not as members of the Cardboard Tube Fighting League. 

**Yep, there's a pillow fight league.

***Basketball on a trampoline court

****To all crokinole players: My apologies if it feels like we were making fun. In reality, it looks like an interesting game and I support anyone who is learning, wants to learn, or plays. And anyone who can play ANYTHING at any kind of a professional level is admirable in my view, because I will never be that good at anything. So, kudos to you!