Virtual life

In a lot of ways, I think I have adjusted a little too much to isolation. I live alone, it's just me, in my house, all the time. I mosey out occasionally* and see other people, but there's not a lot of chatter. And mostly, I'm fine. But there are definitely things I am missing in world where most interaction is virtual.

I miss hearing voices. A friend and I have a running chat going on, which is great and definitely helps with the sanity and the socializing. But I miss voices. Sometimes, I want to conference call her, just to hear the words instead of see them. I love reading, but I don't want my whole existence to be written. 

I miss playing with kids. Mostly my nieces and nephews, really. We do pretty regular Zoom calls, but I only know how to make so many weird faces, and I'm out of ideas on how else to goof off with them. I think next time, I will try a rousing game of "what if" (it has stupendous results with kids of a certain age. And some adults, like me, obviously). And we did have a rousing sing-along yesterday, with some great verses of Down by the Bay. But it's not the same as being able to hug them and high-five them and dance around with them. 

I'm finding that my social awkwardness is starting to show up in my virtual world. Anyone else finding it awkward to end a conversation? I've had so many chats with coworkers where I just feel like I'm supposed to reply back, but good grief, at some point, the chat has to end! And ending meetings? Just awkward, no matter what.

Speaking of meetings, there has been a very definite shift over time. At first, there was relief and joy to be interacting with other human beings, those outside of our quarantine circle. We were chatty, we joked, we were engaged. There has been a steady decline over the last four months. Half the time, the host has to check and make sure people are still there. I think our team spirit might be hibernating. People just have nothing to say, and I have been the host, so I sympathize deeply. But even I can't muster up the energy to join the conversation all the time.

The virtual world is less than ideal, it's definitely not what the tech companies have been cracking it up to be. And now that we've discovered this, I hope we'll remember it for the post-pandemic madness. People just need people. 

*Less now than 4 months ago. Walks are getting boring. And it is too hot.