The greatest of these is charity

Last night, my community was given a curfew as a result of protests that took place in response to the death of George Floyd. I've had many, many thoughts, naturally. But in the last little bit, I've been thinking about an experience with a nephew of mine.

At the time he was probably around 4. His family and I had been out doing something that day, I don't remember what, and when we got back to the house, there was the usual transition chaos: getting the kids out of the car, getting everything inside, and now we need to move on to dinner or whatever was next on the schedule. 

My little nephew was upset about something, and was crying, and if you've ever been in that situation (lots of kids, lots to do, frazzle everywhere), you know how easy it is to say, "I'm not going to help you until you calm down." And sometimes, that's the right thing to do as we try to teach children how to manage stressful or upsetting situations. But sometimes, it's not the right answer, and that day, it wasn't.

Somehow, that day I managed to get it right. I knelt down and with nothing but pure love for that sad little bow, I asked what was wrong. I don't remember what it was--something with his shoes I think. He couldn't get them off, or he was having a hard time putting them away, I don't know. Maybe something with the laces? It doesn't matter. What he needed was help, to do something he couldn't on his own. He needed someone to listen, to acknowledge that what he was feeling was real, and hard for him, and he needed someone to be on his side and help him fix the problem. And through no genius or skill of my own, I got it right. And I have thanked the powers that be every time I think of that moment that on that day, I got it right and loved a crying little boy instead of all the other things I could have done. 

I don't get it right enough. Not nearly enough. I want to be the person who gets it right more often. I want us to be a society that gets it right more often. It's easy to look at these--or any protesters--and say, "Well, look at your behavior. Look at what you're doing wrong." It's easy to say, "Well, destruction and violence is not the answer, and so I'm not going to listen to you until you calm down." 

But I just keep thinking of that little boy. These people--our people--they are hurting. They have been hurting. And it is to the point that they can't bear it anymore. They can't keep that hurt in. And what they desperately need is us kneeling down and saying, "Cry on my shoulder. Tell me how I can help. I am here with you. I will share your pain and be with you until we fix it." They need us to love them and be with them and to get it right. They don't need a lecture, or anyone saying, "Well, here's what you did wrong." They need us to love them. And if we love them, we will absolutely do what it takes to fix the problem. We will take them by the hand, and stand with them. And when we have their hand in ours, with real love, there won't be empty hands left to throw things and destroy things. 

My heart breaks for all the broken hearts out there in this moment, for whatever reason. I want to get it right. And I hope you will tell me what I can do to help you and what I can do to make things right. 

Really?

I just found out that tomorrow is National Work from Home Day. 

Yeah. I know. Just a little ironic. 

Anyway, wherever you are, stay at home! Skip the office! And help everyone else do the same. It is a holiday, so you might as well.

The Smell of Spring

One nice thing about this spring was the flowers. May smelled amazing! I know this COVID thing has wreaked havoc, but I LOVED going out for walks every day (almost every day) and being able to smell the flowers. I know this happens every spring, but for some reason, I never really noticed them as much as this year. Maybe because I'm normally stuck in a building almost all day long, and only leave to get from point A to point B, and there are normally tons of other people doing the same thing. And lots of cars and stuff, adding to the aroma. Whatever the reason, the smell of spring was amazing this year!

It reminded me of the time I went to Mackinac Island in June. We got off the ferry and you could smell three things: lilacs, fudge, and manure. So, kind of like that, but minus the fudge. But also minus the manure, so on the whole, a win. The fudge would have been nice, but all in all it's better for my health this way. 

Thank you, spring! You really came through for me. 

Best Holiday Ever

Today is World Sleep Day. This is the holiday the world needed right now. This is an observance that deserves a Nobel prize: sleep makes the world more peaceful, in the short and long run. It's a day that is vastly underrated (you'll notice there was no reporting on it. And yet, what a fantastic way to encourage social distancing and staying at home! Missed opportunity, guys) and yet so desperately blessed. I spent my day feeling exhausted. Maybe I was just prepping for tonight? Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed and honored sleep today, and enjoy sleep tonight, and what the heck. Extend your observance into tomorrow. 

A brave new world

Last week, I went to the dentist. I know! Amazing! Crazy! And maybe a little bit terrifying!

I got the message that they were rescheduling appointments on Monday or Tuesday, and then got an email with all the new protocols:

• only the patient or patient+one guardian
• stay in your car until your appointment time
• wear a mask
• wash your hands in the hallway restroom (they even gave out the bathroom door code!)

And it seemed like more trouble than it was worth. I was thinking maybe I could reschedule for a couple of months out, but when we finally stopped playing phone tag, they had an appointment the very next day and I hated to say no. I mean, they were open, they could finally work, I'm sure they needed to fill in the calendar. So on Friday, I went to the dentist.

When I got there, I sent them a text letting them know I had arrived, and then they replied when it was safe to come up (meaning, they could take me straight back and avoid multiple patients breathing up the waiting room. Cool, cool). I did wash my hands--not every day you get the secret code for the restroom--and wore a face mask in until they were ready to get in my mouth. They took my temperature and my blood oxygen levels and had me sign a form saying I wouldn't sue if I got coronavirus--all fine, I like my dentist and have no desire to sue him for something that is clearly beyond human control. 

I opted out of watching TV during the appointment because, hey, this was the first time I'd been in a room with other actual people, and my dentist and his assistant always have very entertaining conversations. I was NOT going to pass that up to binge TV. I can do that basically all day every day. Face-to-face human conversation? That is novel these days.

The funniest part was that they were both wearing masks and face shields. Kind of a weird experience to have your dentist wearing a face shield, but really, not that big of deal. A little odd, but what was so funny about it was that with the equipment going and the mask AND the shield, it got hard for them to hear each other. So, they were talking about breakfast cereal and the assistant asked if the dentist had ever had Pops (Corn Pops). And he didn't understand and he said, "What? Socks?"

"No, Pops." "I have no idea what you just said." And they went back and forth 2-3 times before he figured out it was Corn Pops. All of which was very entertaining for me, even though I couldn't laugh or anything because they were drilling my teeth. Whatcha gonna do. 

Anyway, it was the first of many reminders that things aren't going back to normal any time soon. Every day there are more and more people out and about and on one level there's this sense of, "Hey, things are getting back to normal." And then you go out and you get this shock because it isn't normal. It really isn't. Dentists wear face shields, people wear face masks, grocery stores still don't have products and have markers to space people out. It's not a new normal. Normal is a pretend thing. It's just an interesting new way of living. And once we get used to it, it will change again. That, my friends, is normal.