Down the rabbit hole

On Friday at work I was looking at a job posting* for the US Department of Justice, because hey! Archivist for the DOJ! That sounds intriguing at the very least and I was curious. Well, I clicked on the posting and checked it out:

Okay, I'm not saying that the Federal Bureau of Prisons shouldn't have a diverse workforce, but leading with that? I mean, the elephant in the room is "We want you to work for the prison system" and they jump in with diversity. It just seemed odd. So, I had to share with my co-worker.

He also felt this was an oddly worded job advert. I mean, who says to themselves, "I want to work somewhere that values a diverse workforce. I know, the Federal Bureau of Prisons!"

Then, of course, we wondered if the archivist was also responsible for ensuring federal offenders serve their sentences and sincerely hoped not.

By now, I just had to find out more so I started reading the job responsibilities. Responsibility number one? "Responsible for designing, establishing, promoting, and providing oversight for Bureau of Prisons (BOP) historical and on-line museums." Which begged the question, what kind of museums does the BOP have?!?!?!?! We pitched some ideas, and none of them seemed really good. But why live in the 21st century if you can't just google things like this, right?

Well, Google informed us that there is a Museum of Crime. Which made more sense than a prison museum, to be honest. And what a museum! You, too, could borrow John Dillinger's 1933 Hudson Essex-Terraplane 8 for display at your institution! Or check out their other holdings: the Dillon Massacre Hatchet, the OJ Simpson Bronco, Ted Bundy's Volkswagen (you may have observed, like my colleague, that there are a lot of criminal cars), or the Wild West Ice Mallet. Or, visit their website to read articles like, "Early Warning Signs: Serial Killers" or "Wineville Chicken Coop Murders"** But the crucial question--is this an actual museum, or just online?

The answer, my friends, is that yes, there is a physical Crime Museum. It's proper name is the Alcatraz East Crime Museum (Coworker: "Isn't everything east of Alcatraz?") and it is located in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. I hope you will all forgive me, but I had never realized there is a Pigeon Forge, Tennessee***. And in the midst of this, another co-worker asked us why we were talking about Pigeon Forge. Turns out she'd been there, but missed the wonders of the Alcatraz East Crime Museum.

This led the discussion to what on earth is in Pigeon Forge, TN, that she had been there, which led to a google search for "things to do in Pigeon Forge, TN", and was that ever a find! I can't believe people aren't flocking to PF in droves! There's the Crime Museum, of course, then Dollywood, the Titanic Museum Attraction, the Ripken Experience, the Hollywood Wax Museum, Elvis and Hollywood Legends Museum, and Paula Deen's Lumberjack Feud Show Park and Adventure(yes, feud and not food. My co-workers and I agree, this is a huge lost opportunity for Paula). Then there's slot car racing, laser tag, bowling, mini golf, mountain tours, indoor skydiving, and so much more. I think the entire town is an amusement park. No joke. But best of all, there is WonderWorks, where you can encase yourself in a bubble. Which got some serious reaction from my co-worker (the original one, not the one of PF expertise).

That, of course led to the question, "What is the biggest bubble ever blown?" and I will have you know, that is an autofilled question in google search. This led us to the Bubble Blowers Museum webpage**** where we learned not only the answer to that question, but also who set the world record for blowing the most bubbles with a tarantula in their mouth.***** And we discovered Tom Noddy's Bubble Magic Book, which is a real gem of a find. I mean, a chapter called "Beyond Round Bubbles"? How can you resist? And, while the Bubble Blowers Museum article said it's hard to find, I located a copy for sale on Amazon for a quite reasonable price in, say, 10 seconds. (Also available on Amazon? Some extremely entertaining reviews of Mr. Noddy's book. I recommend them).

And, then it was time to get back to work, really. Of course, I did buy a copy of Bubble Magic for my co-worker (how could I not?).

What a rabbit hole!


P.S. We also discovered that no, you can't really blow bubbles in space, which is obviously the most pressing question after the largest bubble ever blown.

*It's a thing people do. This is fine.
**You know you are curious. 
***I have heard of it, I just listened to a podcast series about Dolly Parton and they talk about Dollywood, which is in Pigeon Forge, TN, so I must have heard of it. It just didn't register.
****No, no. It's real. 
*****It was one bubble, right? Because WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? Actually it was 119 bubbles. WHY????