Casting Call

If I were to choose the movie genre for my life, it would be comedy, all the way. I mean, why would you choose anything else? Pass on horror, pass on westerns*, no thanks on war movies or sci-fi**. Can't stand suspense***. Romance? Well, I am down with love, but I don't know if I do romance. Not even rom-com. Too much drama. And I'm definitely not cut out for drama.

So, you can imagine how irritating it is that I find myself in a drama. There are some situations that have come up that just seem SO serious and I literally woke up one morning thinking, "This is crazy! No way can this stuff be this serious! It's just too dramatic!" And there is this part of my brain that just wants to laugh it off, because is any of it really that big a deal?

Well, yes. But I do wish we could get together, say "Isn't this crazy?", laugh at how crazy it is, and then fix the problems and get on with life. Without the drama. Or melodrama. Because meanwhile, there are going to be lots of hurt feelings, lots of frustration, and a lot of stress. Down with this.

Anyway, whoever did the casting for this gig? I think you ought to try again.


This post was brought to you by:
Chocolate--essential for all dramatic situations
Genres--a very archivist-y thing to have
Movies--mostly making me glad that's not my life
Laughter--the duct tape of life
Humanity--keeping life interesting

*unless it was a comedic western, but honestly, I really like indoor plumbing and computers
**unless I get to be an archivist with a Tony Stark style computer, because that would make digital archiving sweet
***I'm the person that, in the zombie apocalypse, will just let the darn zombies bite me because I can't take the stress of trying to avoid the inevitable

Rules to live by

Years ago, I found myself in Puerto Rico and I saw this really great hat that I wanted to buy. But, being a poor exchange student, I tried to be responsible and ended up talking myself out of it. Or maybe I was too shy to drag my fellow exchangees in there to buy it. I don't even know anymore (memory is funny like that). But either way, I didn't buy the hat, and I've regretted it ever since. I've even tried to find one like it, but no luck (again, memory is a funny thing and I'm not sure I even know what I'm looking for).

A couple of summers ago, I was in Nauvoo and one of the shops sold these great pioneer hats for boys. And girls, too, but who wants a girls pioneer hat, all bonnety with ties? No thanks. Anyway, I could have purchased one right there, but did I? Of course not. Dumb responsible me talked me out of it. But I couldn't get it out of my head and one of the first things I did when I got home? Got online and bought me a hat.

And let's not forget the squid hat affair. Granted, it is a way better story with my co-worker going back with me the next day and talking the guard into letting us in the gift shop. But still. Are we noticing a pattern here?

What do we learn from this?

I should always buy the hat.

Things that Go through My Head at an International Folk Dance Performance

Wait, why are there numbers that are just music?
What is this narration stuff? I just wanna see them dance!
I should ask my sister how authentic Chinese women dancing in pantsuits is.
How much of this is the actual cultural dance and how much is artistic liberty?
Who thinks of dances? Where did it all start? I mean, did a group of 30 people just sit down in Indonesia one day and say, "Hey, let's make a TOTALLY AWESOME dance that is really all about our hands!"? How did it evolve?
What will people think of our dances in 200 years?
Does the US have anything that is considered a folk dance that isn't a country dance? Okay, the Charleston. But is there one that we still actually do that isn't country?
I wonder how widespread folk dances were. Did everyone in the town do them? The region? The whole country?
Why do all of the European/American dances seem to involve a lot of stomping of feet? Did I just miss that on the Asian ones?
What is the history of dancing? Not the dissertation, but it would be so cool if there was an actual book that was readable about how dancing became a thing. Seriously. How similar are all dances? How are they different?
These songs that they're singing are basically 3 lyrics over and over and over. Weird. Not sure what I think.
Shoot, I forgot to email so-and-so.
Why is my phone vibrating? Wait, does the alarm make noise even if it's silenced? I'm gonna turn off the alarm at intermission.
Is it offensive that most of these dancers are white? Or is it appreciated that they have learned a bit about the culture and are trying to honor it through dancing?
Oh my gosh, they have got to be so worn out. I do that move in my workouts, and it's killer, and I only do it for 30 seconds.
And the clothing - that has to tie in with the dancing. But why those clothes for that dance? I mean, how does it all tie in? What is the evolution or anthropology of dancing? I really want to know.
How do you ever learn all the stuff there is to know? There's too much!
I remember when I was the age of these kids. They are so young. They think they have life all figured out, and they are probably juniors and seniors, so they are the ones at the University that have got it down. But they are such babies! They aren't grown up at all! Does that make me old? I don't feel old. Age is so weird.
Why don't my nieces seem like babies? They are freshmen, so younger than these guys, but it's different somehow. I mean, they really are young, but I know them, too, and have their whole lives. Somehow that's different.
I really don't want to clap in rhythm with this whole dance. Sorry, don't be offended! I'm really enjoying it!
I'm hungry. Gotta figure out something to eat when I get home, but it will be after 9:00. Ugh, I hate figuring out food.
Okay, wearing your hair in a knot on the very top of your head is a horrible hairstyle for going to a performance. You gotta think about the people behind you. C'mon! Flat hair, guys. Flat hair.
I should probably stop focusing on one group of the dancers and try to see the big picture. Not that knot-hair helps, but I guess it's good for my posture.
Seriously love Bollywood dancing. Is it just very westernized Indian dancing? I REALLY need the anthropology of dancing! I think all my favorite dances so far have been Asian.
Indonesian totally the best one of them all. Maybe tied with the Ukrainian Hopak. Good thing I don't have to vote.
Alright, I'm sneaking out--not going to meet the cast, no offense. That was a good time!

This is NOT a thing

Has anyone else noticed the trend in gimmicky headlines to say things like, "The Internet (fill in the blank)"? And is anyone else bothered by it?

I noticed it a lot during the Olympics. Which I didn't really watch, but based on the headlines, "the Internet" probably needs to be either hospitalized, sent to therapy, or go on a vacation. I don't know how many things broke "the Internet" or how many times 'the Internet' expressed an strong feeling about something ("So-and-so just did xyz and the Internet is not happy") or thought something. And it continued through the Oscars.

I'm not sure why I find this so annoying. Maybe it is too much like someone referring to themselves in the 3rd person. Maybe I just hate the arrogance of assuming that the American Internet is "The Internet". Maybe I just think it's idiotic to try to personify something as incoherent as the internet. Maybe I'm just getting old. Or maybe it's just that every time a headline uses "the Internet", it is bound to be about something totally trivial. "The Internet" is a very obnoxious entity.* 

Whatever the reason, I find "the Internet" really annoying and I'm opposed. Boo on "the Internet"!

*As opposed to the internet, which, while sometimes obnoxious, is just a useful tool.