Sunday, March 16, 2014

They're back...

I know I have complained about how cold the weather has been (come on, let's be honest, who hasn't? Besides maybe penguins and polar bears. And snowmen). And I really am tired of the cold. And not being able to walk on the sidewalks. And curling my toes in my boots as though that might gain me some traction. And having my nose running every time I step outside. And requiring 5 layers at all times. And dirty, nasty grey-black snow.

However, I have discovered one wonderful thing about winter: No Geese.

I hadn't even registered they were gone, not consciously, until a couple of days ago I heard the honk of doom outside my apartment. And suddenly, I realized what a tremendous boon the snow had been: No geese! Now psychopathic hissing gangster birds marking out their territory with massive amounts of goose poop everywhere you try to step. No hordes of territorial fowl hogging the sidewalk. No goose poop. No obnoxious honking all day long. No goose poop! (If anyone is trying to start a fowl fertilizer business, I know where you can get some product cheap).

And now, the blissful reprieve is over. They are back. The sidewalks are barely clear of ice and they are going to start filling up with manure. So I say we fight back, and deport those stupid geese back to where they came from. Which is presumably Canada. Anyone else with me? Eh?

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