Who writes the rules?

A couple of weeks ago, I went to visit my sister and her family and I kind of chuckled because her 8-year old boy put on a pair of brown plaid shorts with a brown striped shirt. Now, the browns matched wonderfully. Really close to the same shade. But, yeah, generally people discourage mixing patterns, right?

Or not. The next day, I went to church and someone was wearing an outfit of stripes, paisley, and possibly different stripes or another pattern. And not even matching colors. Grey stripes, gold and navy blue paisley, some other color on top. And everyone was totally fine with it. (Mind you, this girl is an artist, and she has the personality to carry off an outfit like that, whereas I absolutely do not.) And I actually wouldn't have bat an eye at it myself, except for the plaid-stripe combo being on my mind. Most likely. Yet I know that mothers everywhere would do everything in their power to discourage such a combination in their children. And if a twenty-something wore the brown-stripe-plaid combo, they'd get a lot of flack, but certainly it's more logical than the other outfit. I mean, the colors match and everything. 

So who writes these rules, anyway? I have never understood fashion. I think I manage to dress in an acceptable manner. (Sometimes I do wonder. I find myself at work thinking, wait, is this really an outfit that works? Are the colors okay? Do they styles work together? Help! I'm a grown woman who doesn't know how to dress herself!) And I think I definitely know when something looks really awful. (*cough* quilted pillowcase skirt *cough*). But I really would like to know who is writing the rules of fashion, because I have a few suggestions for them. 

1. You should not wear lingerie to a red carpet event. Or in public. Ever. It embarrasses everyone. 

2. If you have to wear pants underneath it (aka leggings), it's not a dress. It's just a very long shirt. (Which is not to say it should never be worn, but the distinction is important).  

3. We should break the rules occasionally and where bright summer colors in winter. Winter is depressing enough without everyone wearing dark colors. 

4. The 80's were bad enough the first time. 

5. There is no excuse for a wardrobe malfunction. I have never heard of a wardrobe malfunction that couldn't have been avoided by wearing something that actually covers a person. Which is, after all, the purpose of clothing. (If I wanted to study anatomy, I'd take a class.)

6. There should be cute shoes for people with wide(r) feet. Seriously. We like to have awesome shoes, too. 

7. Pants really do function better when the waist is at the waist. I know, it's a bit radical, but you know, it really sends the wrong impression when you have to hold your pants up while you walk. (No exaggeration. I have seen this. Poor guy was trying to talk on the phone and having all sorts of problems trying to do that and keep from walking out of his pants. And the way you have to walk to not lose your pants? It can't be good for you). 

So there you go. A few rules I'd like submitted for vote at the next big rule-making meeting for the fashion world. My work here is finished.