Vision check

You know how they say "hindsight is 20/20"? (They being that random and mysterious group of people who get blamed for everything, big and small, real and mythical, because 'they' sounds better than 'it is said' somehow.) Well, I've come to the conclusion that it just isn't true.

My life situation right now gives me ample cause to question my past actions. I rehash things over and over and over, wondering about the decisions that led me to where I am, and most importantly, constantly asking why I didn't know better. Which is really unfair because you don't know what you don't know, and if you don't find out what it is you don't know until after the fact, what are you supposed to do about it? (Try sorting THAT sentence out!) I have learned that so often in life, there are things that you should find out about but that you would never in a million years, ever, think about finding it out until you are in the situation where you are saying, "I should have known that." If that's the attitude we are going to take, then we should all feel like idiots for not knowing how to read Moby Dick when we were five. (I still haven't read Moby Dick, of course, but that is because I am not interested in reading about a mad man trying to get back at a whale. Which is the general plot, to my knowledge. And if I read it and find out I was wrong about the plot, I wouldn't feel stupid. I would just be glad I knew more. See? There's my point.)

Hindsight really isn't objective, either. I think we often feel that with hindsight, we know all the facts. But why do we think that? We don't, really. And what we know may not even be factual. It may just be that instead of seeing things with a rose-colored lens, we are now seeing them through a chartreuse one. That doesn't mean we are seeing them more clearly. Just differently.

I think we also make the mistake of thinking that our choices have set results. We look back and say, "If I'd done B, instead of A, then C wouldn't have happened." Says who? Where is that rule written? Half the time, I'm not even certain of what choice A will lead to, so how can I be sure that B, which also has numerous potential outcomes, would definitely have brought about a different result? And most things in life are so multifaceted that it isn't ever that straightforward, anyway. We'd have to change A-Z before really getting a different result.

Not that hindsight isn't useful. I know of a couple of things off the top of my head where hindsight shows very clearly what I should have done differently. But the funny thing is, those are things where I knew at the time that I should maybe do something more or something different. The hindsight lesson here is that I should have paid attention and listened to my noggin.

So, the point of all this rambling patikiwakaness? Some days, you'll look back and feel like you can see all the things you should have changed. And when you do, do yourself a favor and give yourself the benefit of the doubt. Because, hindsight really isn't 20/20.