Suspension of belief

Dear action/crime TV/Movie Character:

First, let me tell you that I appreciate your career decision, which allows me to binge-watch shows until my brain is liquified. I realize it's a sacrifice and your willingness to take one for the team has not gone unnoticed.

That being said, I'd like to give you some advice. Just small pointers that might make your job easier, nothing to worry about.

1) When you are going up against the bad guys, bring better firepower. Every time you go in there with your little pistol, knowing they are going to be bringing Uzis. Seriously. I know there is the Hollywood law that the bad guys will always miss, even with guns that shoot a million rounds a second in every direction, but it's not very believable.

2) When you are going in there, protect your head!!! I know you don't want to mess up your hair, but really? Why even bother wearing the bullet proof vest if you are going to give the bad guy that lovely updo as a target?

3) What is it with you that you always have to engage with the criminal? Let it go! Don't talk to them, don't banter with them, or whatever it is you think you are doing. Cuff 'em and go. Question them and get out of there. When you try to get the last word in, it makes it look like you care what they think, and believe me, you shouldn't.

4) I'm going to fill you in on a little secret. Whoever the random outsider is that comes into your little team? Your scripted to fall in love with them. Just don't. Don't bother. It's cliche, overdone, boring, predictable. Try something new--like interoffice relationships that don't involve any kind of romantic anything. It's done everyday.

So, there are some pointers for you, things you might want to consider to improve the overall believability of your character. Like I say, your doing a great job, but it never hurts to try new things.

Sincerely,
The Viewer

Nothing is happening......

I have been trying to come up with something worth writing about. And I just can't come up with anything.

I blame it on February. I know, it's a short little month, and it doesn't deserve the bad reputation it has, but February is just so dreary. When I think of February, I think of that dirty-snow-on-the-side-of-the-road color and rose red. (Which, let's be fair--that is a great thing to have come to mind). And cold. Why does February have to be so cold?

Anyway, there is nothing of interest going on at all, so I say we call it a February and pick up again in March. Who's with me?

God Save the Queen

I think it's high time we face the facts: I am an anglophile.

It's been coming on for a while now. It probably started with books. Jane Austen. Harry Potter. Tolkien, Lewis. All the great British classics.

Then I moved on to BBC TV shows. Doctor Who. Sherlock. Keeping Up Appearances.

Then I started reading the BBC news, and the occasional Economist article.

Then more TV. As Time Goes By. Yes, Minister and Yes, Prime Minister.

But that wasn't enough. I just couldn't satisfy my craving for British humor, mystery, and global news coverage. I started listening to podcasts: BBC Documentaries, More or Less, Witness, Intelligence Squared. The News Quiz.

More TV: Poirot, Endeavour, Foyle's War. More books, branching out into the rest of the commonwealth: Artemis Fowl, Jonathan Stroud, Robin McKinley, Terry Pratchett. My appetite for UK media became insatiable.

Now I've branched out into radio shows. Cabin Pressure, John Finnemore's Souvenir Program, Welcome to Our Village, Please Invade Quietly. And my calendar for the year is England. Next thing you know, I'll be looking for jobs there and planning a move across the pond. Where will it end?

I blame it on genetics, myself. It's my English roots. You can take the English out of England (and deposit them in a colony on the other side of the planet, let them get comfy, rebel, and start a new country, and spend 200 years making a mess of things), but you just can't take England out of the English. Or something like that. Yeah. Hail Britannia.