Wednesday, December 31, 2014

There IS such a thing as too early

Dear World (particularly the capitalist one),

I went to the store yesterday, December 30th. As expected, there was the section of the store full of clearance Christmas items (particularly useful discovery - by December 30th, there isn't much  that I can convincingly justify purchasing, so I need to never shop until 5 days after Christmas), and I enjoyed the last remnants of red and green and silver.

But then, to my absolute disgust, I found that the remaining space formerly allotted to Christmas deals was now occupied by Valentine's Day stuff!!! Valentine's! In December! You couldn't even wait to get to the new year? Really?!

The most absurd and ridiculous thing about this is it was all chocolates. Now, who receives chocolates for Valentine's Day? Women. Meaning they are bought by men, in general (although with the current state of things, who knows anymore). And who stereotypically doesn't shop early? Men. So, why do we need valentine's chocolates in December?

Perhaps there are some statistics you could release that show that people are giving up procrastinating and are becoming really on the ball. If so, I'd like to know why and how I can get on that bandwagon.

But if you just need some ideas about what to do with all that now empty space, I'm sure we can put our heads together and figure it out. You could spread out your current display stands, give some extra maneuvering room. Or highlight a random new special of the month, just like you do with summer stuff. There are many possibilities, I'm sure.

So please, please, can we put the Valentine's Day stuff back in storage, at least for a couple more weeks?

Sincerely,
Me

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