Farewell March

It seems fitting that we bid March farewell on a Monday. It wasn't a bad Monday, I mean it was actually pretty decent. It was fine. And I was really going to try to think of something fun and clever and entertaining to write about, but I just don't have anything like that, just a run-of-the-mill Monday, with it's run-of-the mill ups and downs: they fixed one bug in a computer program and now there are a bunch of new bugs; I'm seeing some things that I need to train my team on, and I worry that I'm just not doing a good job of teaching*. But they fixed a problem with on of our interns accounts, so now she can do her job, hooray! And I had a chance to chat with the interns, which I think is always important. I got to work on some collections, and it has been awhile so that was nice. And I helped a friend. 

Even so, it was a day that required cute photographs and hilarious videos of cats walking wonky. It helped, and I made it through the day. And now, to bed, later than I would have liked, as always, but at least I didn't get caught off guard.

*In my defense, there is a reason I didn't get a PhD. Teaching is not my forte. 

It's artificial, but I'm not convinced it is intelligent

Well, friends, I made my first foray into using AI and can now report with authority that it doesn't know how to spell.

I admit, I am a little surprised by the whole spelling thing, because it seems like that would be the sure fire thing. I type in an instruction saying "Make a logo for XYZ brand", you'd think it would get the XYZ right, but nope. Out of maybe 25 tries, it spelled it right 4 or 5 times? I mean, AI is not passing kindergarten with those grades! And it's also a liar, because every time I corrected it on the spelling, it promised it was going to fix it and get it exactly right. (AI put the italics in, not me). 

Also, it would generate a design I liked, but then couldn't edit the design. So, any tweaks and it basically started over. Which, you can imagine. I finally get it spelled right, need to change something else, and nope. Back to square one, on the spelling, the art, everything. And the design I liked? Gone to me forever, because a graphic designer I am not. 

I think I'm less surprised at how poorly it does at reading the instructions. I specified "don't add any fruit to the design" and it kept adding fruit. I'm less surprised, because this is a thing that happens all the time at work. I say to people, "Do xyz" and somehow, the opposite of that seems to happen. However, they at least only had verbal instructions and maybe I was speaking a foreign language at the time, which actually does happen a lot on my team. And even in writing it is sometimes in a foreign language. I also know that I don't always read to the end of emails and stuff, or I skim to get the gist and sometimes miss some details. 

But here's the thing. Isn't AI supposed to be better than me? Admittedly, it far surpasses me in graphic design, but then the design is always wrong, so...??? I'll tell you so--so even though it took 25-30 tries to give me 4-5 correctly spelled designs (and 2-3 that met the artistic specifications, but to be fair, that was a process of me figuring out what I actually wanted, so you can't blame AI), It still only took 15 minutes or so. And if I'd had to do it myself, well, let's just say the peak of my artistic achievement is a stick dinosaur.

Overall conclusions, it's about what I expected it to be and we shouldn't go turning the world over to it any time soon. (Or ever in my opinion, I don't care how good it gets). But the spelling thing. That's just embarrassing.

Ad-gorithms

Maybe I have the wrong end of the stick but my understanding is that streaming services use algorithms to place targeted ads for viewers. If so, I'm really concerned about what the algorithms think about me.

First, they seem to think I have a lot of health problems and need lots of meds. I don't. I don't have lots of health problems and if I needed medications, I definitely wouldn't consult television. I'd talk to a doctor.

Second, they seem to think I am way richer than I am, because they try to sell me a lot of high end cars and trucks. If they want to give me the paycheck to match, sure, I'll consider it.

Perhaps it is just sheer "Sam-I-Am-ness" that leads the algorithms to continue running Burger King ads for me. The last time I ate at Burger King was in Mexico City in 2022 (It was good. Eating at American fast food chains in other countries is always a fun experience. Different menus, different vibe, different perception). Before that, I don't even know. 

The ads did get me to eat Popeye's chicken, and it really wasn't the experience the commercial hyped. It was good, though, and solved the dinner problem. Now they've moved onto Johnsonville sausage, which if I ever need sausage, I'll consider.

So, I'm a sick rich person who eats a lot of fast food and sausage? Ummmm, not so much. Try again, algorithms.

The petty things in life

Well, as the world continues to fall apart (or so it seems, at least on a global scale, which is far different than an individual level where I would like to acknowledge that I am incredibly blessed and really have nothing to complain about on an individual level, beyond the minor nuisances. I can't even complain about the price of eggs, because I have a good job and can afford it, but on behalf of others, I am disgruntled. For many reasons), I can either talk about that or go into a mindless and absolutely unimportant analysis of Awards season fashion, which gives me a chance to be snarky without being dismissive. So, here goes.

Ladies, WHAT in the name of sanity are we wearing on the red carpet these days???? And more importantly, WHY???

I think we are hitting the apex of absurdity in red carpet fashion. I mean, first off, how in the world is a body supposed to navigate a room, let alone sit down in some of these dresses? They look like they are wearing gigantic lampshades. Or have what is essentially a fancy cone that a dog would get from the vet. Or some other structural thing going on with clothing that honestly makes someone wearing a hat in a movie theater seem like nothing in comparison. I mean, let's be real. It's ridiculous. And I for one do not have the spacial awareness to get into some of these architecturally designed gowns, let alone take 2 steps in them without knocking down a building. Perhaps I just lack spatial awareness.

There was also the trend of "stained glass" looking dresses, or crystal-encrusted dresses this year. I mean, those ladies had to sit on those things for 4 HOURS!!! That can't be healthy for the gluteus maximus, you know what I mean? I really hope there was some padding somewhere between the tushie and the dress, because otherwise, agony. And possibly numbness, tingling, loss of control of muscles, etc. Which sounds like the side effects of a medication, frankly.

I also noticed, at least with the Oscars red carpet, that a number of these women's chests are being squeezed right out of the gown. Which can't be comfortable, invites a wardrobe malfunction, and just feels like a gigantic whoospie all around.

There is always that part of me that is just super practical and thinks, "The cost of that dress could buy so many houses. Or feed so many people. Or provide Ukraine with a lot of missiles." (Okay, maybe not that last one, because missiles seem to be really pricey. And they don't even have pearls, diamonds, or crystals on them!) I know, awards ceremonies are big deals and it doesn't have to be all about practicality, but surely you can make a beautiful dress at a more reasonable price? I would think?

On another practical note, do these women freeze all night long? I suppose with enough people in there, there's body heat keeping the room warm enough, but I would definitely be freezing at some point in the 4 hour show. Do they have someone holding a jacket for them, out of sight of the cameras? I sure hope so. And what about bathroom breaks? Are those just off the table for the night for some dresses? You can definitely get a feel for what my clothing requirements are! (gotta be able to move in it, and besides, I like nice flowy looks; gotta be able to go to the bathroom while wearing it; gotta be able to be warm enough in it; and please don't make me worry about how much money I'm wearing, in case I spill something or what have you).

On a non-fashion related note, who are these people? I was looking at all the stars and had no idea who most of them are! Does that mean I've officially hit the "When I was young..." or "Get off my lawn!" stage of life? What is the order on those? "When I was young" comes first, right? Add it to the list of "I'm not young anymore": You don't know most of the people on the red carpet. Good times.

Well, there you have it. Snark about nothing of any great importance, because talking about things of importance kind of hurts these days. It's good to have something to poke fun at. 

Rio de Janeiro

 

Where's the manual?!

As is not too unusual, I have come down with something post-trip. I had a couple of co-workers on the recovering end of something during the trip, but it was also late nights, different climate, different food, working in an archive, several flights (some of which were FREEZING!), so it could have been any number of things, or all of them.

Anyway, this time around, the long weekend wasn't enough for me to recover, which is unusual. I usually bounce back pretty quickly. The year everyone caught the flu working a booth at a conference? I was sick for 2 days then well enough to be back at work, while everyone else was out for a week or two. COVID? I had the 36-hour version. 

This time around, I tried working from home Tuesday (which was a disaster for multiple reasons), and took Wednesday off. Thursday I felt much better, but Friday I was flagging, so I've spent the weekend sleeping a lot, and quite frankly, I'm really bored. I mean, the sleeping is great, but then I wake up and am phlegmy and coughing and sniffling and bored. 

Amidst all of this, I've realized I really don't know how to take care of a sick me. I'm not sure I know how to take care of a sick anyone, but definitely not when it's me. How do you know if you are too sick to work? How do you know if you are sick-tired or just normal tired with a lot of congestion? Do you go see a doctor when it's definitely just one of the oodles of viruses going around? How does that stupid digital thermometer work because I'm pretty sure it's not supposed to shut off in the middle of taking your temperature! 

So, my advice to you is, don't get sick if I'm the only person around. Other than commiserating, I won't be much help.

Not enough memory

On my most recent trip, I encountered the fun problem of not being able to scan anymore because I had filled up my computer memory. So, I had to copy files over to a hard drive, which led to the fun problem of not being able to copy the files because there wasn't enough memory for the operation*. This is not as surprising when you realize that the scans were uncompressed tifs, about 42 MB per image, and I had scanned thousands of images. Also, moving images that size takes a minute, they don't copy over quickly. So, lots of fun, but it worked out. (Now I get to transfer them again so that hopefully I can free up my computer hard drive, because I don't think I can save anything to it!)

Anyway, in the future, just be warned that when I malfunction, I will be blaming it on memory problems. "Not enough memory to perform that operation." Not enough memory to get out of bed. Not enough memory to clean the kitchen. Not enough memory to remember my grocery list. Not enough memory!

*good news: I could find some smaller folders, copy those, delete them, free up more memory, copy over more files, etc.